Comments on: Gain Cooperation – Without Nagging, Haggling, or Bribing!

By: elayne

elayne — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 22:13:14 +0000

Good tips and a great reminder for all of us… kind of like dieting. We really do know what we need to do, it’s just the discipline to be consistent and practice these tips routinely that get us off track. Thank you for numbering them and spelling them out so clearly for all of us!!

By: Branko

Branko — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:00:00 +0000

One quick comment, regarding “glass is half full:” generic praises, such as “Good job,” seem much less effective than specific ones. For example, saying something like “It is so neat how you cleaned up/ordered your toys” tells the kids that you are paying attention and are part of their world (see Ellen’s tip #3), plus it gives them a sense of mastery and accomplishment (tip #7).

By: Branko

Branko — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:47:38 +0000

I cannot agree more: humor is the best distraction. I sometimes even tickle my kids to get them to smile when they are angry: at first they hate you, since you found a way to get them to relax, but ultimately they feel connected to you (see Ellen’s tip #3) and will behave.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:30:50 +0000

I like your basic cornerstones of any co-operative relationship. It sounds like you have something in common with Judy Nordstrom from T.E.P.E. (Training for Excellence in Parenting Education) http://www.tepeinstitute.com She uses the acronym REFL (Respect, Encouragement, Fun, & Love) to describe the foundational stones of a safe/healthy family relationship. Maybe you should get in touch with her or check out her website. Communication is always one of the first topics in her parenting groups.

By: Diane

Diane — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:28:29 +0000

Great article. The best advice I received when my children were young was – When you want your child to do something – “Don’t ask it in the form of a question, UNLESS you are willing to take no for an answer.” I also wouldn’t say – WE are going to brush our teeth… unless I was brushing mine also.

By: Dan

Dan — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:11:57 +0000

Hey Ellen,

As a father of four kids, I really appreciate this report. Sometimes life gets so hectic, that I totally lose my cool- so reminders like this short report are invaluable.

Thanks… and looking forward to seeing further changes on the site.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:05:36 +0000

Ellen, I’m going to hang this report on the fridge!

It’s useful, colorful, and I need to remember this stuff all the time!

Keep up the great work,

Kathy- mother of four small souls in ON, Canada

By: Diane

Diane — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:03:25 +0000

Thanks for this comprehensive report! And no opt-in required… and permission to share with friends- what a great start to the week:)

One of my secrets is humor:

If my son is complaining because my daugher bothered him, I’ll say something like, “Oh, Cody, a bunny rabbit ate your tail and it’s hurting you? Come here, let me help you feel better and figure out how to get a new tail!”

It’s so ridiculous and random that the kids laugh and forget about their arguements!

The other morning, I burned my tongue slightlyon my tea, and pretended to only be able to speak with a terrible lisp. They were laughing so hard at my new manner of speaking that they completely forgot who took the cereal box away from whom!

Diane, NM