So, the archer’s bow does not really work for me….I agree with Danny Archer’s comment about hitting a moose or burning up in the atmosphere. If we keep our children close and control them completely and then just let them fly out into the world they will not be equipped.

I think of it more as rolling a ball gently up a hill. We test it a few times gently to see how much pressure we will eventually need to exert to get it up and over, but there is nothing wrong with the ball rolling back to us as many times as it wants….each time we are learning and giving new information and trying again with the next new hurdle.

As the owner of Ark Career Coaching, I work with young adults who have not had the opportunity to soar. Their parents have not let the arrow go or the let the arrow go suddenly and the young adult was not prepared to cope.

I fully subscribe to letting children go so that they can grow, but I often use a bowling analogy. Like a bow and arrow you hold the bowling ball close, but your role is to teach them to bowl for them selves. As a parent you have the opportunity to be the bumpers until your child is ready to roll without them. We know there will be some gutter balls, but they are opportunities to try, try again until your child knocks down all of the pins!

Our job is to provide opportunities for success. It is also our job to let our children make mistakes so that they can become independent, resiliant and self-confident.

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It remains important to manage the bow properly in moderation…

when we think of drawing our children closer , are we refering to the emotional needs more than the physical?
When we say we dont need to push them into independence early on are we refering to physical independence not as much emotional?

I really like the bit where laurie says: drawing them closer to heart but pointed outward.

I believe Independence is very important , but at a natural and comfortable pace for the child.
The feeling of security and love is enough to encourage anyone to venture and soar high , knowing there is unconditional help and support whenever required.
I can really relate this to my own parenting now when I look back to it. I was / am attached to my parents emtionally . It took me a while to soar , lol.. perhaps beacause of my own life exeriences ,peer situations coupled with my pesonality type then. I then went through a point where I really felt so comfortable about myelf and my values that I would not hesitate to stand by them. ( is that what we mean by soaring high .. eventually). Having confidence in what we believe in – of course justifiably not in a strong headed way, and following our own internals leads to strive for a feeling of satisfaction in life – like a direction. So that eventually we are happy internally (at most times at least )and not always feeling dissatisfied.

Thank you for that Thought. I really love this website and everyone around me knows about it too! Truly an inspiring place to visit.

Laurie, your additions are equally profound and insightful. Great thinking and thanks for sharing.

One of my children is really struggling with a very difficult situation/behavior and this was just the reminder that I needed today. Thank you.

i tried it…

at first the bow snapped

second time, my child went flying into a passing moose and killed it.

third time, after we cleaned my kid up, i shot him straight up and away he went, as high as the stars….i was really really happy.

then, about 15 minutes later he re-entered the atmosphere and was burned upon re-entry…what do you suggest for a salve?

and do you realize that you can only hold one bow at a time and once you let it go…the arrow never, ever comes back…

and if you are a good shot it will kill something.

and how do you attach those guidance feathers to the feet?

My concern is for the bonding process, which many are recognizing as taking some time, but we haven’t figured out “how much”. Now some politicians are noting that the US doesn’t advocate for moms to be with their babies as many other countries do. Some even give stipends, realizing the caregiving mothers contribute to the Gross National Product by doing work which would likely otherwise have to be hired out. The Welfare to Work programs esteem moms working after a few months at home to be a good role model for their children…Now the same economist who came up with that idea wrote In Our Hands which says everyone in the US could get 10K each year (instead of the administration pushing that much money around as they currently do) to give all an income stream, promote networking funds, and grease the wheels of options (including staying home to care for a child) for parents and others.

LET YOUR BENDING IN THE ARCHER’S HAND BE FOR GLADNESS”

~ KAHLIL GIBRAN