Comments on: Giving Your Child Effective Attention! http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/ Timeless Parenting Advice for Toddlers through Teenagers Tue, 07 Feb 2012 02:06:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Corrie http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-55432 Corrie Sun, 24 Apr 2011 22:27:43 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-55432 My partner has a four year-old son and I have a sixteen year-old daughter. My daughter lives with her dad. Boy, I wish I were aware of the skills presented in this article when I was a single-mom raising my daughter. I definitely carry guilt in regards to raising her, but what does a twenty-year-old know about parenting. I realized sometime over the past year that I parented my child like I was parented by my parents. I was a very immature parent (as my parents still are!) but I'm trying these days to break the cycle and overcome learned traits. Needless to say, my daughter and I have a meaningful relationship that is very open. We have both learned a lot growing up together. Now that I am no longer a "single mother" I have found myself in a loving relationship with a man who has a four year old son from a previous relationship. We have open communication about parenting and expectations. Currently, the situation of "attention seeking" by his son is coming up. His son is very well-behaved and mild mannered as far as my experience with children, but now that he is four he is flexing his independent streak accompanied with a consistent need for attention. I perceive his attention-seeking as a need to control. This article is very helpful in pointing out the importance of reinforcing positive instead of negative attention seeking and focusing on the steps taken instead of the end result. My partner gives his son undivided attention on the weekends and mid-week visits the boy is here. Anything the boy does for attention, my partner responds. He is a good father. Unlike the suggestion in this article though, the boy doesn't become content (unless asleep) instead demands (charmingly) more attention. It should be mentioned that the boy receives a lot of undivided attention from his mother - lots of nurturing and affection. My daughter doesn't live with my partner and I so when the boy comes over he usually receives our undivided attention, as well. I eventually retreat to the bedroom and let my partner spend time with his son. I brought up my concerns about the attention-seeking to my partner he believes attention-craving is normal for children. I know it is, but when does the parent draw the line? Thank you for this blog. My partner has a four year-old son and I have a sixteen year-old daughter. My daughter lives with her dad. Boy, I wish I were aware of the skills presented in this article when I was a single-mom raising my daughter. I definitely carry guilt in regards to raising her, but what does a twenty-year-old know about parenting. I realized sometime over the past year that I parented my child like I was parented by my parents. I was a very immature parent (as my parents still are!) but I’m trying these days to break the cycle and overcome learned traits. Needless to say, my daughter and I have a meaningful relationship that is very open. We have both learned a lot growing up together. Now that I am no longer a “single mother” I have found myself in a loving relationship with a man who has a four year old son from a previous relationship. We have open communication about parenting and expectations. Currently, the situation of “attention seeking” by his son is coming up. His son is very well-behaved and mild mannered as far as my experience with children, but now that he is four he is flexing his independent streak accompanied with a consistent need for attention. I perceive his attention-seeking as a need to control. This article is very helpful in pointing out the importance of reinforcing positive instead of negative attention seeking and focusing on the steps taken instead of the end result. My partner gives his son undivided attention on the weekends and mid-week visits the boy is here. Anything the boy does for attention, my partner responds. He is a good father. Unlike the suggestion in this article though, the boy doesn’t become content (unless asleep) instead demands (charmingly) more attention. It should be mentioned that the boy receives a lot of undivided attention from his mother – lots of nurturing and affection. My daughter doesn’t live with my partner and I so when the boy comes over he usually receives our undivided attention, as well. I eventually retreat to the bedroom and let my partner spend time with his son. I brought up my concerns about the attention-seeking to my partner he believes attention-craving is normal for children. I know it is, but when does the parent draw the line? Thank you for this blog.

]]> By: Kerrie http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-47009 Kerrie Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:51:34 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-47009 # 27 - Stephanie I have been in the same boat. What I did was when my boyfriend came over for the first while, I would leave a gap between us and then my son could chose where he would sit (between us or beside me). You can always cuddle closer when she goes to bed. Tell your child that you love spending time with both of them. Do lots of activities, swimming, bowling, playing in the park, etc. This shows that you can have fun with both of them and that you are not picking one over the other. If your boyfriend really cares for you, this will not push him away. He should understand that, if your situation was like mine, it was the mom and child for the longest time. Now someone new is in the picture and the child thinks that they are going to lose you. # 27 – Stephanie
I have been in the same boat. What I did was when my boyfriend came over for the first while, I would leave a gap between us and then my son could chose where he would sit (between us or beside me). You can always cuddle closer when she goes to bed. Tell your child that you love spending time with both of them. Do lots of activities, swimming, bowling, playing in the park, etc. This shows that you can have fun with both of them and that you are not picking one over the other. If your boyfriend really cares for you, this will not push him away. He should understand that, if your situation was like mine, it was the mom and child for the longest time. Now someone new is in the picture and the child thinks that they are going to lose you.

]]> By: Rafiq Allana http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-45357 Rafiq Allana Mon, 01 Sep 2008 04:19:29 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-45357 Thanks for a vey useful tips on giving time to children. One thing I have learnt that not to be judgemental on the "good" or "bad" work produce by the children by uttering these words. Rather, say positive remarks which enhances a child's self esteem and give courage to work more happily and consistently. Thanks for a vey useful tips on giving time to children. One thing I have learnt that not to be judgemental on the “good” or “bad” work produce by the children by uttering these words. Rather, say positive remarks which enhances a child’s self esteem and give courage to work more happily and consistently.

]]> By: Lisa http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-39785 Lisa Wed, 07 May 2008 18:24:51 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-39785 Great article. This book that recently came out. It was excellent and gave real time solutions for instilling the behavior you desire from your child/class. "The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills" by Alan E. Kazdin (Author). It applies to any child! Great article. This book that recently came out. It was excellent and gave real time solutions for instilling the behavior you desire from your child/class. “The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills” by Alan E. Kazdin (Author). It applies to any child!

]]> By: Stephanie http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-39516 Stephanie Tue, 06 May 2008 01:07:57 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-39516 I have learned something today by reading the above topic. I am currently in a relationship where my partner does not have kids. He has expressed to me that he very much interested in me and my child but finds it difficult to come around when she is constantly seeking my attention. For example, when comes over he will sit beside me. My child immediatelys say's "I dont want bill to sit beside you and proceeds to push me away and when i dont move she begans to cry and be persistant about me moving. How do I handle this because I dont want her behaviors to run him away and this is becoming a problem. I have learned something today by reading the above topic. I am currently in a relationship where my partner does not have kids. He has expressed to me that he very much interested in me and my child but finds it difficult to come around when she is constantly seeking my attention. For example, when comes over he will sit beside me. My child immediatelys say’s “I dont want bill to sit beside you and proceeds to push me away and when i dont move she begans to cry and be persistant about me moving. How do I handle this because I dont want her behaviors to run him away and this is becoming a problem.

]]> By: Kyla Hamilton http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-22877 Kyla Hamilton Fri, 27 Jul 2007 14:03:22 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-22877 I definitly give the best attention when I am mad, dissappointed with a behavior or scared. I have a very low self esteem and seem to care more about how I look as a mother then how I can teach my kids the best way to act in certain situations. I am trying to develop my children's self esteem but it is becoming very clear to me that it isn't their's I need to fix first but my own. Where do I start??? HELP! I definitly give the best attention when I am mad, dissappointed with a behavior or scared. I have a very low self esteem and seem to care more about how I look as a mother then how I can teach my kids the best way to act in certain situations. I am trying to develop my children’s self esteem but it is becoming very clear to me that it isn’t their’s I need to fix first but my own. Where do I start??? HELP!

]]> By: Homeschooling Mom http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-22243 Homeschooling Mom Mon, 02 Jul 2007 16:15:09 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-22243 </i>Wonderful article! We are a walking testimony of this articles topic...my son was in school until December when we began homeschooling. We noticed that the negative attention he was receiving in school in regards to his talkative nature deeply hurt him and his ability to enjoy learning as well as other aspects of his life simply because he thought himself "bad" all the time. After <i>months</i> of positive reinforcement and literally ignoring offensive behavior (when it was ignorable), we have seen such a change in him. No more whining, temper tantrums, etc. Just a happy kid who has once again discovered his love for life and learning. Positive reinforcement works!! Wonderful article! We are a walking testimony of this articles topic…my son was in school until December when we began homeschooling. We noticed that the negative attention he was receiving in school in regards to his talkative nature deeply hurt him and his ability to enjoy learning as well as other aspects of his life simply because he thought himself “bad” all the time. After months of positive reinforcement and literally ignoring offensive behavior (when it was ignorable), we have seen such a change in him. No more whining, temper tantrums, etc. Just a happy kid who has once again discovered his love for life and learning.

Positive reinforcement works!!

]]> By: cheryl http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-19115 cheryl Fri, 13 Apr 2007 11:06:05 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-19115 My youngest daughter receives negative teacher interviews about her behaviour and it is affecting her grades too. I hear the teachers saying "she is seeking attention" or "she behaves this way for attention". I didn't quite understand what the teachers meant by this (perhaps teachers should be reminded of this article too). I thought I was giving my 3 girls attention and now I realize that perhaps I am not giving the proper attention. It's true, if I think back the attention is feedback to her negative behaviour. I will try to practice the positive attention. Thank you for this article. My youngest daughter receives negative teacher interviews about her behaviour and it is affecting her grades too. I hear the teachers saying “she is seeking attention” or “she behaves this way for attention”. I didn’t quite understand what the teachers meant by this (perhaps teachers should be reminded of this article too). I thought I was giving my 3 girls attention and now I realize that perhaps I am not giving the proper attention. It’s true, if I think back the attention is feedback to her negative behaviour. I will try to practice the positive attention. Thank you for this article.

]]> By: casey http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-17404 casey Thu, 29 Mar 2007 21:14:17 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-17404 this site rocks. i always get such good, simplified advice that i can apply to my kids, myself and even at work.etc. i appreciate everyone's comments at the end of the article's, as a single mother it helps me not feel so alone in my struggles. this site rocks. i always get such good, simplified advice that i can apply to my kids, myself and even at work.etc. i appreciate everyone’s comments at the end of the article’s, as a single mother it helps me not feel so alone in my struggles.

]]> By: mary jo huddleston http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-11854 mary jo huddleston Mon, 05 Feb 2007 21:22:11 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-11854 I need a phone number so I can order and send a company check with the order. We are a Child Care Resource & Referral agency and plan to use the Animal School DVD for training purposes. My phone is 563-324-1302 x 402 or email mjhuddleston@iowatrain.org I need a phone number so I can order and send a company check with the order. We are a Child Care Resource & Referral agency and plan to use the Animal School DVD for training purposes. My phone is 563-324-1302 x 402 or email mjhuddleston@iowatrain.org

]]> By: Colin Knauf http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-11490 Colin Knauf Sat, 03 Feb 2007 18:19:15 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-11490 Another great wake up call to us all. It is nothing we don't know but most fail to practice. I know I do. I had an epiphany on the subject of 'catching them doing good'. As the Akela at a Cub (Scouting) 'link camp' with young girls and boys. At the close of the camp, one very young camper came up to me and said matter of factually (without accusation or reproach but slight disappointment) "you never talked to me!" Thinking that I had forgotten a promise, I asked for clarification. His response: "you talked a lot to Joe, Mike and Liz but not me". He had named all the ADHD participants. The behavioural problems of the event. This young lad was independent, a team player, kind and courteous. So no one paid any notice! By the end of the camp everyone knew Joe, Mike and Liz, only too well. WE must catch them doing good. It is in our own selfish best interests. Everyone pulls ahead in the process. Now I use the strategy to turn all older Cubs into leaders. Sometimes whispered and sometimes announced: "Wow, you really know how to bring out the best knot tying and responsible behaviour in the younger Cubs. Have you taken a leadership course or are you just a natural?" That problem child quickly becomes your "leader" who is only to eager to show his ability to redirect and help others to success. It works! Thanks Ellen for this learned forum, we are all lucky to have such a place to exchange learning and to improve...'all of our behaviours'. Colin Another great wake up call to us all.
It is nothing we don’t know but most fail to practice. I know I do.

I had an epiphany on the subject of ‘catching them doing good’. As the Akela at a Cub (Scouting) ‘link camp’ with young girls and boys. At the close of the camp, one very young camper came up to me and said matter of factually (without accusation or reproach but slight disappointment) “you never talked to me!” Thinking that I had forgotten a promise, I asked for clarification. His response: “you talked a lot to Joe, Mike and Liz but not me”. He had named all the ADHD participants. The behavioural problems of the event. This young lad was independent, a team player, kind and courteous. So no one paid any notice! By the end of the camp everyone knew Joe, Mike and Liz, only too well.

WE must catch them doing good.
It is in our own selfish best interests. Everyone pulls ahead in the process.

Now I use the strategy to turn all older Cubs into leaders. Sometimes whispered and sometimes announced:
“Wow, you really know how to bring out the best knot tying and responsible behaviour in the younger Cubs. Have you taken a leadership course or are you just a natural?”

That problem child quickly becomes your “leader” who is only to eager to show his ability to redirect and help others to success.

It works!

Thanks Ellen for this learned forum, we are all lucky to have such a place to exchange learning and to improve…’all of our behaviours’.

Colin

]]> By: Jill http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-10047 Jill Thu, 25 Jan 2007 21:36:42 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-10047 Oh the pangs of guilt! As I read this article I realise that I know this to be true but how many times do I fail to catch my kids being good? However, thank you for keeping this topic in front of me and helping me to appreciate the great kids that I do have. Oh the pangs of guilt! As I read this article I realise that I know this to be true but how many times do I fail to catch my kids being good? However, thank you for keeping this topic in front of me and helping me to appreciate the great kids that I do have.

]]> By: Pam http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-8560 Pam Mon, 01 Jan 2007 23:38:41 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-8560 Anthony, EXACTLY! I have to say that my parents were exceptional parents..both educators as well, who knew the "right" way, but also were dealing with their own limitations (dad was an alcoholic, and an ACOA and a surviving child...oh brother)...Of course they did things that would be frowned upon in textbooks and teacher ed courses, but they really were inspirational...I am a reactor, a hot head and an occasional overreator,all due in part to a combination of being and ACOA and my inborn temperment...so I NEED to use "calming" techniques..and really rely on, what you refered to as my "rational mind"...and not temper tantrum on my kids...I admit, I do sometimes...but I do really feel like I should know better...I should be above the rest...It should be easier for me because I have so much knowledge in this area, and that only works some of the time...ugh! Enough of this counterproductive banter..lol I appreciate your affirmations and support... Thanks Anthony... Pam Anthony,

EXACTLY! I have to say that my parents were exceptional parents..both educators as well, who knew the “right” way, but also were dealing with their own limitations (dad was an alcoholic, and an ACOA and a surviving child…oh brother)…Of course they did things that would be frowned upon in textbooks and teacher ed courses, but they really were inspirational…I am a reactor, a hot head and an occasional overreator,all due in part to a combination of being and ACOA and my inborn temperment…so I NEED to use “calming” techniques..and really rely on, what you refered to as my “rational mind”…and not temper tantrum on my kids…I admit, I do sometimes…but I do really feel like I should know better…I should be above the rest…It should be easier for me because I have so much knowledge in this area, and that only works some of the time…ugh! Enough of this counterproductive banter..lol
I appreciate your affirmations and support…
Thanks Anthony…
Pam

]]> By: Anthony http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-8063 Anthony Thu, 21 Dec 2006 23:47:36 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-8063 Pam, I'll go out on a limb here and guess that you picked up your parenting style from your own parents. Look back and see if they gave you more attention for you "bad" behaivors. Sounds like you are an intelligent woman, that knows better, knows the right way, but you still struggle to implement the <i>right way into your own relationships. I suspect this, due in large part to my own struggle to be the way my rational mind wants to be, not what my knee jerk emotions say. Be proud that you are breaking the chain set into motion by your own parents, and their parents before them. You might slip from time to time, but that's allowed--at least you care to try to more!!! Best wishes, Anthony Pam,

I’ll go out on a limb here and guess that you picked up your parenting style from your own parents. Look back and see if they gave you more attention for you “bad” behaivors. Sounds like you are an intelligent woman, that knows better, knows the right way, but you still struggle to implement the right way into your own relationships. I suspect this, due in large part to my own struggle to be the way my rational mind wants to be, not what my knee jerk emotions say.

Be proud that you are breaking the chain set into motion by your own parents, and their parents before them. You might slip from time to time, but that’s allowed–at least you care to try to more!!!

Best wishes,

Anthony

]]> By: Anthony http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-8062 Anthony Thu, 21 Dec 2006 23:35:28 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-8062 This is an <i>excellent</i> article. It's one of those things that I've learned several times, however, I find myself slipping back into the old pattern of giving attention (i.e. yelling) for the bad behaviors and not enough attention for the good behaviors. It's easy to understand this concept, a bit harder to actually implement on a consistent basis. Keep up the good work. This is an excellent article. It’s one of those things that I’ve learned several times, however, I find myself slipping back into the old pattern of giving attention (i.e. yelling) for the bad behaviors and not enough attention for the good behaviors. It’s easy to understand this concept, a bit harder to actually implement on a consistent basis. Keep up the good work.

]]> By: Etrily http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-7743 Etrily Thu, 14 Dec 2006 02:09:36 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-7743 Thank you Ellen for your encouragement and for this great article which came just at the right time. Your emails are a great help to me. Love and God bless Etrily xx Thank you Ellen for your encouragement and for this great article which came just at the right time. Your emails are a great help to me. Love and God bless Etrily xx

]]> By: Pam http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-7114 Pam Tue, 05 Dec 2006 01:39:17 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-7114 Ellen, I have a very similar philosophy about children as you do and have expressed in this article. I found it much easier to practice what I belived while I was teaching...but find it more challenging as a parent myself. I am so glad that I knew all of this important and valuable information about how to manage and support children, but sometimes I am not as effective of a mother as I was a teacher...this frustrations me and really disappoints me about who I thought I'd be as a mom... Any thoughts, affirmations, suggestions? I'd love them! Pam Ellen,
I have a very similar philosophy about children as you do and have expressed in this article. I found it much easier to practice what I belived while I was teaching…but find it more challenging as a parent myself. I am so glad that I knew all of this important and valuable information about how to manage and support children, but sometimes I am not as effective of a mother as I was a teacher…this frustrations me and really disappoints me about who I thought I’d be as a mom…
Any thoughts, affirmations, suggestions? I’d love them!
Pam

]]> By: Trina http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-2609 Trina Tue, 17 Oct 2006 15:44:23 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-2609 Thanks for an informative and helpful article. My daughter is 2 and just beginning to seek my attention when I am most busy. Your article has verbalised the method of dealing with this that I have been working on - you make so much sense!!! Hopefully I will nip this behaviour in the bud and feel better knowing that I am giving her all the attention she needs (or trying!). Thanks for an informative and helpful article. My daughter is 2 and just beginning to seek my attention when I am most busy. Your article has verbalised the method of dealing with this that I have been working on – you make so much sense!!! Hopefully I will nip this behaviour in the bud and feel better knowing that I am giving her all the attention she needs (or trying!).

]]> By: Nina http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-2605 Nina Tue, 17 Oct 2006 04:36:23 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-2605 Thanks for a great article! It is so very true and I need this sort of gentle reminder to help me to understand and properly interpret my children's annoying behaviors. These days, it is difficult to find time to read through my parenting books when I'm feeling frustrated. I appreciate your ability to pull out some crucial tidbits that really make a powerful difference. Thanks for this wonderful website and the email reminders! Thanks for a great article! It is so very true and I need this sort of gentle reminder to help me to understand and properly interpret my children’s annoying behaviors. These days, it is difficult to find time to read through my parenting books when I’m feeling frustrated. I appreciate your ability to pull out some crucial tidbits that really make a powerful difference.

Thanks for this wonderful website and the email reminders!

]]> By: Laya http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-2473 Laya Fri, 06 Oct 2006 00:33:07 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-2473 I'd love to add a little nugget to it. We've all heard about how teens can "shut down" to their parents. By giving them our attention when they're little, they know they can come to us. (It’s just like letting them get in the habit of helping even when it’s more work to let them help at first. I wish I got that bit sooner!) I once read in a parenting book that if you stop what you're doing and hold a child that needs your attention, they'll usually be all filled up in less than 10 minutes of undivided attention. Contrast that to constant pulling for an hour while you’re trying to get something done. Thanks for putting together such great material Ellen. All the best, Laya I’d love to add a little nugget to it. We’ve all heard about how teens can “shut down” to their parents. By giving them our attention when they’re little, they know they can come to us. (It’s just like letting them get in the habit of helping even when it’s more work to let them help at first. I wish I got that bit sooner!)

I once read in a parenting book that if you stop what you’re doing and hold a child that needs your attention, they’ll usually be all filled up in less than 10 minutes of undivided attention. Contrast that to constant pulling for an hour while you’re trying to get something done.

Thanks for putting together such great material Ellen.

All the best,
Laya

]]> By: Dorothy Caruso http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-2366 Dorothy Caruso Wed, 27 Sep 2006 15:48:37 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-2366 How exciting that the author addresses the problem of quality attention. As a teacher and care giver exposed to the field of education, I have often thought that many of our special needs labels as ADD, ADHD could be erased by giving quality attention to children then there would be no "Attention Deficit". The children would then be labeled: AFNOR: Attention Fulfilled Not on Ritalin! However, I don't see anything wrong with saying adjectives like "good" and "bad" and "beautiful" in regards to anything, because those words exist. It's more of a matter of what motivates their use, than the prohibition of their use. "Excellent job" Kelly, you have infinite love in your heart and I appreciate it! Dorothy Caruso How exciting that the author addresses the problem of quality attention. As a teacher and care giver exposed to the field of education, I have often thought that many of our special needs labels as ADD, ADHD could be erased by giving quality attention to children then there would be no “Attention Deficit”.
The children would then be labeled: AFNOR: Attention Fulfilled Not on Ritalin!
However, I don’t see anything wrong with saying adjectives like “good” and “bad” and “beautiful” in regards to anything, because those words exist. It’s more of a matter of what motivates their use, than the prohibition of their use.
“Excellent job” Kelly, you have infinite love in your heart and I appreciate it!
Dorothy Caruso

]]> By: kim http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-2356 kim Tue, 26 Sep 2006 15:58:59 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-2356 Thought the article was a wonderful way to help remind parents of how we always want to interact with our children.Well done. Thought the article was a wonderful way to help remind parents of how we always want to interact with our children.Well done.

]]> By: Ellen C. Braun http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-2267 Ellen C. Braun Mon, 18 Sep 2006 17:00:05 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-2267 Hi Judy, If it's an important call, I'll lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes and finish up! That is assuming that you know the children are going to be safe, of course.. If it's unimportant, I'll either: 1- get off the phone 2- put the person on hold and say, "I'm on the phone, I'll be with you in 5/10 minutes." If necessary: "You can take a snack from the snack cabinet while I finish this call!" By the way, I'd like to invite you all to the new parenting forum: www.raisingsmallsouls.com/forums/ . Simply click 'register' and choose a username and password that you'll always remember. I'm finding it much simpler to have ongoing, virtual, productive parenting discussions on the forum! See you there:) Ellen Hi Judy,

If it’s an important call, I’ll lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes and finish up! That is assuming that you know the children are going to be safe, of course..

If it’s unimportant, I’ll either:

1- get off the phone

2- put the person on hold and say, “I’m on the phone, I’ll be with you in 5/10 minutes.” If necessary: “You can take a snack from the snack cabinet while I finish this call!”

By the way, I’d like to invite you all to the new parenting forum: http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/forums/ . Simply click ‘register’ and
choose a username and password that you’ll always remember. I’m finding it much simpler to have ongoing, virtual, productive parenting discussions on the forum!

See you there:)

Ellen

]]> By: Judy http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-2266 Judy Mon, 18 Sep 2006 16:53:26 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-2266 Dear Ellen: Thanks for the great article! My kids go nuts when I'm on the phone at home, *especially* when it's an important call. I know exactly what you mean about the quality, focused attention to start out with, but what do *you* do when they start fighting or interrupting you in the middle of a call or conversation? Just curious..... Dear Ellen:

Thanks for the great article! My kids go nuts when I’m on the phone at home, *especially* when it’s an important call. I know exactly what you mean about the quality, focused attention to start out with, but what do *you* do when they start fighting or interrupting you in the middle of a call or conversation? Just curious…..

]]> By: Wendy http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/comment-page-1/#comment-2233 Wendy Fri, 15 Sep 2006 03:12:32 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/attention/#comment-2233 What a great reminder of why my four year old has been acting up. Thank you for the great advice and reminder of how simple it really is if we just take the time to focus on what is going on. What a great reminder of why my four year old has been acting up. Thank you for the great advice and reminder of how simple it really is if we just take the time to focus on what is going on.

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