We Are More Than Beautiful!
We Are More Than Beautiful
46 Real Teens Speak Out about Beauty, Happiness, Love and Life
by Woody Winfree
The new book, We Are More Than Beautiful for teen girls is the latest addition to the work of the I Am Beautiful Project, an initiative committed to producing creative and educational works that encourage personal growth and discovery for women and girls of all ages.
Author, Woody Winfree says the project’s mission is simple: to create a world in which every woman and girl can proudly proclaim, “I AM BEAUTIFUL!”
What is the I Am Beautiful Project all about? It is about changing the definition of beauty in our culture – one girl at a time, one woman at a time. Quite dramatically, the mass media has chipped away at our sense of beauty and well-being by presenting a singular, narrow and distorted image of female beauty: super-thin bodies, topped by large, perky breasts, with flawless youthful faces surrounded by shiny bouncy hair –and of course, sparkly white, perfectly straight teeth! This suggestion of beauty is not only wrong, it is a LIE. In truth, only three percent of the U.S. female population has the genetic makeup to look like this ideal. That means 97% of us are spending billions of dollars, untold hours of our lives and huge amounts of happiness in an attempt to pursue this distorted ideal.
In sum, the I Am Beautiful Project is about books and films, and workshops and seminars — and anything else I might think to create along the way – that help guide women and girls to change their perspective about the definition of beauty. Beauty is NOT the size of our waists, or the cascade of our hair. Rather, beauty is the sum of our talents, accomplishments, intellect, contribution to our families and communities, and every other measure of living a life that deeply matters.
Where did the idea of this project come from? With the creation of my first book for women, I Am Beautiful – A Celebration of Women, the hope was to give our daughters – mine and yours and every other American girl — a tangible work that they could hold onto. To expose them to images of women that are as real, interesting, diverse and beautiful as real women are. The success of this first book (that is now available in a gift edition), naturally led to creating a book just for girls: We Are More Than Beautiful.
The seed for this work, however, was planted some years before book ideas ever came into my head. When my now 23-year-old daughter was five someone asked me if she could model for a photo-shoot for a leather goods product ad. I thought this would be a fun experience, so off we went. At the time we were living in rural Connecticut. My daughter was a frog-chasing, tree-climbing nature girl almost completely free from the mass media – billboards, magazines, TV, etc. But the second the photographer bent down to take a few test shots, my little nature-girl struck a provocative pose of hip out, lips pouting and a come-hither stance, while her dumb-struck mother looked on! Where could she possibly have learned to do this? Why did she think that this is the natural relationship that a woman has with the camera? I came to believe that her weekly journey through the gauntlet of fashion magazines on the grocery check-out aisle is where she learned this “un-truth.”
Tell me about the new teen book. Who is in it? Where are they from? What stories do they tell – and how is this important to other girls who read the book? The girls in the book are ages 12 to 19, from all walks of American life, facing and exploring all types of issues with self-acceptance and self-esteem. Each girl responded to my query – “Tell me why you are beautiful.” At once, every story is unique to the individual girl’s experience, but universal to the experience of American girls everywhere. Each girl is presented with her picture in an artistically graphic and colorful layout over two pages. This presentation is, not only contemporary and exciting to girls raised in the most visually stimulating culture ever but, affords the reader to enter fully into each girls’ “world” and experience her journey of claiming her beauty.
Bottom line, experiencing other girls’ stories is important because it supports, helps and guides the reader to learn how to ask and answer that question for herself. The book creates a classical “peer” environment for sharing information, even trading secrets in a safe, supportive way. It also teaches girls to learn that they have a “right” to their sense of beauty and how to formulate conversations with their own friends on the subject.
Can the book be used by mothers with their daughters? Absolutely! My hope is that mothers and daughters will read it together and use its stories as a springboard for ongoing conversations. Conversations about:
How the culture distorts that definition – and why
Why a narrow, distorted definition is harmful
Who are the women and girls in our lives that we find most beautiful – and do they embody the cultural ideal of beauty – or a deeper, more meaningful definition?
How we can enjoy the fun and frivolity, even the consumerism, of American life without buying into notion that we must alter our natural features in order to feel beautiful, make friends, get good grades, get ahead and on and on.
Proof positive of this is seen in my own two daughters. Because I have been working on projects related to this subject for more than 10 years, my daughters have been raised on a nutritious and bountiful “diet” of ways to define their beauty. Like any belief or idea that one is exposed to, affirmative ideas of who they are have shaped how they see themselves. Further, 1,000 “teaching moments” over dinner conversation or watching TV or looking at magazines, have raised their awareness of how and why the media diminishes women. And, knowledge is power. Oh sure, they have “bad hair” days and times when they are knocked off their stride – just like we all do. But at their core, they have a deeper sense of self and an expansive measure of their worth to draw on. This is the gift I work to share – one girl at a time, one woman at a time.
Why do you believe that naming our beauty is so essential? When we give “voice” to anything, ascribe literal words to a thought or idea, a major shift begins to take place. It might be ever so subtle in the beginning, but in time the act evolves into a concrete declaration of fact. I also believe that we deserve to know and feel our beauty. I believe it is our right, our spiritual right. Can we reach our full potential in this one precious life we have been honored with if we are chasing an artificial ideal of our self-worth? This is the ultimate question that we must ask ourselves – and guide our young daughters looking up to us to do the same.
What else are you up to with the I Am Beautiful Project? I speak frequently to various audiences of women and girls on this subject. From colleges and universities around the country to high schools, at companies and more. These seminars and workshops are designed to dig deeper into the issues we have explored in this interview. These events are listed on my website: www.iambeautiful.com

What a LOVELY article… pun intended! Thank you for sharing this important message.
My daughter Lily is only 4.5, but I’m going to buy this book now for both of us to read together! Thank you for sharing this terrific book with us!
Lisa, mom of Lily 4.5 and Deacon 2.5
I really appreciate articles like these, this is one of the few blogs I follow. However I am amazed and disturbed that at the top of the page, one of the advertising links is for a dating services for young teens!! I would suggest it is not appropriate for this site. Natalie.
Hi Natalie- the links at the top are sponsored by Google, and I don’t have control over them; however I will contact them and tell them which keywords ought to be targeted on this page for those ads! Thanks for bringing that up- ECB
I’m out to buy three copies one for each of us! I have two teenage girls and this is something we have talked about their entire lives. In fact, my girls happen to be very “pretty” as defined by society, they are half Navajo and half Anglo and quite striking to most people. From the moment they were born people would comment to them and to me. My first response would always be, “they are more beautiful on the inside and it radiates in who they are.” My girls heard this their whole lives and know it, believe it and live it. At 14 and 16 they TRULY understand that beauty has NOTHING to do with what you look like and EVERYTHING to do with how you feel and your attitude toward youself and the rest of the world. I am proud to be their mom. Now is the time I truly have to keep reminding them of that as advertisers, peer pressure and society does everything in its power to prove this lifetime of learning wrong. Sometimes, I think we need to help change the “beholder” as well as our own understanding of ourselves.
I really appreciate the message here and agree, but I also think there’s a balance to be had between having fun with makeup and cosmetics, and taking things too seriously. Makeup and cosmetics in general can be a great way for girls to express themselves and their individuality.
As a teacher, I am amazed at how the youngest girls have already internalized the “lie.” I may be 5′10” and on the thin size, but my thin hair, broken nose and uneven-reconstructed breast (masectomy 18 years ago) leave me quite out of the beautiful-lie. And as I hit 41, and the wrinkles begin, I just get farther from it. But what my masectomy taught me was the truth about looks and beauty. Our appearance is temporal ( they can be amputated, scarred, sagged, and wrinkled). Our beauty, however, is eternal. This is where we need to put our time and efforts. Thank-you for writing a book and trying to correct the misrepresentations.
I am so glad to see a book regarding this issue. I teach in a public high school and it is amazing the pressure these girls put on themselves to be “perfect”. Also, in response to Janice I too just recently have had a masectomy and am starting chemo. It was very inspirational and made me think that no matter what these live saving treatments may do to my outside appearance, I will still be the same on the inside. I am going to get your book not only for me but for my daughter and students as well. Thanks for passionately caring about this issue.
Beauty comes in all colors, shapes, sizes, abilities, ages… It’s about time someone tried to shatter (or at least make a dent in) the media’s distorted images of beauty. There are too many beautiful young girls out there wasting precious time and energy trying to attain the unattainable.
I’m thrilled that a book like this is written and published.I teach in India and am really disturbed at the low self confidence among most of my girl students.I’ll certainly recommend this book to our library too.
If you have any plans of extending your work to other countries and cultures,do let me know.I’d love to be a part of this campaign.
Cheers
Joy
Hi Joy…I was just talking to my teenage son, who at 16 felt the need to ’shave’ because, most teenage boys in America are shaving! We live in Bangalore, India, and my children, 13 and 16, are half Indian, and half English…’beautiful’ as defined by society. I pointed out to my children that it saddens (and maddens) me to see so many products, especially the whitening creams, endorsed by ‘fair’ women, creating such poor self esteem among the dark skinned girls and women, desperate to become fair and lovely! Products like ‘Fair and Lovely’ need to be banned!
Amita
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Thanks for sharing.