Comments on: Childhood Fears

By: Annabelle

Annabelle — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 03:00:00 +0000

My child is 13 yrs old and she is still afriad of the dark (being alone by her self day/night), she wont go in the garage or back to her bedroom by herself with the lights turned off. She is afiad that there is someone in the dark and she cant see them. I keep telling her that noone is here in our house but your family. She still believes in ghosts and whenever she hears a crack in the ceiling she freakes out especially if she is by herself. What should I do? Shouldn’t she have grown out of it by now?
-Annabelle

By: Evona

Evona — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 02:18:07 +0000

you can read this and see if it helps
http://tidewaterschool.blogspot.com/2009/01/fw_3563.html

By: Faye Bennett

Faye Bennett — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 17:23:04 +0000

My son who is 9 & in the 4rd Grade has had selective fear of being alone since he was 6 (1st grade). At times he can’t be in the bathroom alone, going to garage, going upstairs to his room and sleeping on his bed(lower bunk) while his older is on the top bunk. We have tried other ways to work with him and his fears and we’d take a step forward and two steps backwards, similar to the other parents situation. I’m glad I read other stories and will try some of them. Please share other ideas/tips on what has worked for other parents and children alike.

Faye

By: JoAnna

JoAnna — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 21:37:59 +0000

I am looking for answers on how to help a child that has a real fear of puppets. SOunds strange but its true. My grandson has a real true fear of puppets. A few days ago at schoold his teacher had a puppet and he was upset.
They sent him to a counsler at the school who tried to make interact with puppets.Theyuse puppets during library time and now on library days he does not wnat to go to school. The counsler seems to have done alot more harm than good for him. Any answers or suggestions to try to help him get passed and over this puppet fear would appreciated.
Thank You
JoAnna

By: Jody

Jody — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 22:12:01 +0000

My daughter (10) is also afraid at night. I have to stay in her room until she falls asleep. When she wakes up to use the bathroom, she wakes me to go with her because she is scared. If I’m lucky, I can get her to go back to sleep in her own bed. Often, however, she cries and says she is scared, and I end up letting her in my bed, partly because I’m too tired to fight her. I will try the one minute in and one minute out strategy. Any other suggestions???

By: Jessica Spence

Jessica Spence — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 06:00:39 +0000

My 9 year old daughter is experiencing fear of tornadoes. We recently moved to missouri and she had never experienced them. I am not sure if part of it is the move and change or what to do for her. She is very anxious and i am concerned that it could become worse. She is becoming more clingy and makes statements like “you cant leave what if there is a tornadoe where you are driving to and it make syou wreck”
She is more whining and crying, edgy. Any advice would be appreciated

By: Colin K N A U F

Colin K N A U F — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 13:07:39 +0000

Children have much greater imaginations than us; and they work overtime.
One way to assuage these fears is to go over worse case scenarios. What is the worst thing that could happen? vs. what is this the thrill of success and the swoosh of the wind in your hair and the adulation of friends, they high fives etc? Is the risk worth it?
Remind them that the biggest thing they have to fear is their imagination. The largest meanest and ugliest thing we worry about is hiding out in our overactive imagination.
I remind Cubs of this when we enter a new event, hike at night or anything new that may challenge their equilibrium. It seems to work well. They are bright enough at a very early age to pick up this idea and understand it. And if they don’t that is OK too. Because when they are ready they will. Until then we need to reassure them that we will help them and protect them.

Our modern media and its lack of restraint and appropriate discussions at child centred times can fuel overactive imaginations. It seems that the more mature or advanced in their thinking the greater the problem appears to them. There is a lot of truth in “ignorance is bliss”…at an earlier age. Sadly we steal their innocence at an earlier and earlier age in the west.

We adults must be very vigilant about our own discussions within earshot of the young. On a night hike with Cubs (8-10 years)… I wanted to find a sock…when one parent, along for the hike started talking about the sighting of a cougar in the area while we were hiking…her poor son was standing near….she paid for her lack of thought…he clinged to her all hike long…and sadly he paid even more dearly….an did not enjoy the hike like his companions did… At 8 I would have been imagining a cougar in every tree! We had an adult conversation later!

By: Eileen

Eileen — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:21:26 +0000

My 9 year old daughter has fears of having bad dreams, so she came up with her own solution: flushing them down the toilet just before going to bed.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 05:12:16 +0000

My son who is turning 9 this month has fears at night about going to sleep. He saw a movie that scared him and tells me when he closes his eyes he sees the characters from the movie. After him not falling asleep without one of us in his bed for 2 weeks, we went to talk to a therapist. A technique we are using is to leave the room for one minute, coming back for one minute, leaving again for one minute, then up to 2 minutes then 5. We have never got past the 2 minute because he falls asleep which tells me that it’s working. It is getting a lot better.

By: Annmarie B

Annmarie B — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 04:30:07 +0000

Both my son (now 12) and daughter (now 17) experienced fears when they were younger. A friend gave me the idea of using a “(fear) deterrent bear” — in my daughter’s case it was a “monster deterrent bear”. We used the same bear for my son’s fear of the dark. He then became fearful of bugs — spiders in particular. For this one, we employed the use of an outdated radar detector. He was able to turn it on at night when he felt afraid of the spiders. Perhaps one of those rubber bracelets could help for fears outside the home. Both children overcame their fears pretty quickly (within a few months). They seemed to respond well to us validating their feelings. Hope this helps!

By: Florie

Florie — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 01:04:25 +0000

My son was four when we noticed he was developing some fears. We used the book “The Anxiety Cure for Kids” as an aid for us in talking with him and helping him deal with certain fears. He is much better at recognizing fear and how to cope with it with our coaching techniques we learned from this great book. It may be a place to start, but you may want help if it persists.

By: alda stephenson

alda stephenson — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:44:41 +0000

WHEN I WAS A CHILD OF YOUR SON’S AGE, I TOO HAD MANY FEARS,IT TURNS OUT IN MY CASE , ALOT OF MY PROBLEMS WITH FEAR WERE CAUSED ALOT IN PART TO MY PARENTS CONSTANT FIGHTING, I NEVER KNEW WHEN ONE OF THEM WOULD LEAVE, OR ONE USUALLY MOM,MIGHT BE HURT.CHILDREN ARE VERY SMART AND CAN PICK UP ON ISSUES BETWEEN PARENTS.

By: Paula Fiore

Paula Fiore — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 17:55:53 +0000

I have a 6 year old daughter that has sensory integration disorder. She has alot of fears and anxieties over many things. She is in Kindergarden and has many therapies to help her. She has been progressing wonderfully. I find I have to be very creative and intuitive in how I help her and uncover her fears to make things easier for her. Deep down she really wants to be part of a fuller life and when work thru an obstacle she is so proud of herself. She used to be afraid of the ocean, seagulls, seaweed when she was younger but has moved on. Noices and too many people have been difficult for her but is starting to manage them better. Ocupational therapy has been the best thing for her. You would do well to have your son evaluated so you can better help him. Now is a good time. Good luck.

By: Chris Hoehn

Chris Hoehn — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 16:14:24 +0000

My son, who is eleven years old has experienced high anxiety and fears all of his life. He experiences fears of heights, climbing, movement, swimming, all fears that you mentioned for your son.

After several years of “one step forward, two steps back” we noticed that he also had quirky, unusual behaviors. He liked to sit on his head, he liked to walk on his hands instead of his feet, he preferred tumbling and rolling and cartwheels. There is so much more that I could describe but the bottom line was that he suffered from sensory integration disorder.

This affected his eating habits, his behavior in social settings, his type of shut down modes that he selected to use, and other areas of his life. After following this line of thought for several years and searching for an occupational therapist that was trained in Sensory Integration Disorder we have made miles of improvements.

It might be in the best interest of everyone concerned to have him tested for Sensory Integration Disorder, if for no other reason than to rule it out.

When he was an infant we could not hold him and sit or stand from a yard swing. Now he gets on the trampoline and goes as high as he can and does all kinds of acrobatic maneuvers. It is a joy to see him enjoy life to the fullest, however, we still experience negative times when people do not understand that he has “unseen” challenges and is not just trying to act up and cause disturbances.

Good luck and keep me posted on how things are going. I am curious to hear the results.

Thanks,

Chris Hoehn

By: Donna

Donna — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:38:50 +0000

My son, who is now 13 was exactly like you described. He would not go on carnival rides or leave the side of the swimming pool, for fear. They do outgrow it. He is now riding all the rides and swims in the deep end of the pool, you just have to be there and not compare him to other children, “look at so-and-so he is your age and he is doing it, so why don’t you” does not help and only belittles the child. So just do things with him that does not require him to be put in those situations and be patient.