A Personal Story

My middle son, Jacob, is ten years old and has opinions about absolutely everything. He recently shared with me the reason why Wednesday is the worst day of the week.

“Monday is pizza day, Tuesday is baseball leagues, Wednesday is nothing special, and Thursday you come to my school!” Each day of the week had a special component, according to Jacob, aside from the unfortunate day of Wednesday. What surprised me was just how much my weekly visits to his school on Thursdays actually meant to him in his ten-year-old mind.

I volunteer to serve hot lunches each Thursday in my children’s school. The truth is that I do more checking kids’ names off lists than actual serving, however, I do set up the tables prior to each grade’s lunch period. Although it takes nearly three hours out of my Thursdays, I enjoy getting to see my children in their school environment and the ability to have a quick word with their teachers and principals on a regular basis.

Jacob’s sweet reaction to my lunch volunteering stands in sharp contrast to his older brother’s perspective. Joey is twelve years old and requested that I not wave to him while he is on the lunch line, as that is apparently a big no-no in the social culture of sixth grade. At the end of his lunch period Joey does make his way to the room where I am setting up the next grade’s lunch and talk to me for a moment, but he does not want his friends to see him speaking to his mother! Although I could not help but feel a tiny bit miffed by the rude norms of middle school social culture, I was secretly glad that Joey had the ability to communicate his needs with me, even though he knew that I would not be pleased — he is able to be open and honest about his deep feelings.

By the way, Ben, who is eight years old, is usually pretty happy to see me. (Even last week when he brought me a paper to sign in middle of lunch where he’d written, ‘I will focus on learning not talk to my friends during class’!)

The interesting thing about people, especially children, is that we are all different. Joey does not care for my visits to school while Jacob adores them! Some children are gifted athletically, while others are blessed emotionally. This is the message of my popular Animal School video. (I’m sure you’ve already seen it, but just in case you haven’t, grab a tissue and watch it now!) Everyone is different, and no two people see the same thing in quite the same light. And there need not be a right and wrong way to view everything in life. Sometimes two people can hold opposing opinions, yet both of them can still be correct in their own way.

Let’s take some time to see our child’s incredible uniqueness. He may not have a train of thought that is identical to mine, yet that’s what makes him all the more special — he is his very own person! Which reminds me of one of my favorite books of all time — The Five Love Languages for Children. You’ve probably heard of the book due to its incredible popularity. (If not, order it now here!)

The book describes how we all have a different primary method of understanding love. Some of us feel love primarily through physical touch, while others feel loved when they receive gifts or services lovingly. It’s important to understand how we seek love and how our children seek their love.

If a mother primarily experiences love physically, and her son’s language of love is through quality time, then they can clash when she wants lots of hugs to dominate the relationship while he wants to just spend time in each others company. These are the 5 languages: Quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, and acts of service.

Support RaisingSmallSouls by Shopping Amazon though our Page

Unfortunately, RaisingSmallSouls’ offices have been flooded by the torrential rainstorm that hit the Northeast last Thursday.  I would post a photo of the horrendous damage to my office, but all of my USB cables were submerged in the flood, and I cannot upload any pictures currently.  After seeing the horrors that recently occurred in Japan, I am extraordinarily grateful that we are all healthy — and that only physical items were destroyed in my home.

Our computer systems were irreparably damaged.  A tremendous amount of inventory is now waterlogged and useless.  Additionally, many important documents, such as birth certificates, have been ruined by the flood.

Our home of six years had never flooded until this day, so it had not seemed to be unwise to set up RaisingSmallSouls’ office in the lower level of the house.  This way, I could work at home while being a stay at home mom — the best of both worlds.

Right now, we are unsure about where to reestablish RaisingSmallSouls’ office.  However, in the interim, a massive amount of expenses must be covered in order to continue to run the RaisingSmallSouls site — namely, a new computer, printer, and various office furniture and supplies.

You can support RaisingSmallSouls.com without parting with a single dime.  Simply click on RaisingSmallSouls’ Amazon link to make your usual purchases on Amazon.com.

You will notice that Amazon looks exactly the same as it usually does when you type the letters a-m-a-z-o-n into your browser.  However, by making any purchase within 24 hours of clicking on RaisingSmallSouls’ Amazon link, 4-7% of your purchase will benefit our website.  It may not seem like a significant amount if you are buying a $10 book or game, but small change adds up.  RaisingSmallSouls receives over 100,000 monthly visitors, so if half of them buy a product or two from Amazon through our link, our offices will be up and running again in short order.

===>>>  THIS IS RAISINGSMALLSOULS’ AMAZON LINK  <<<===

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for your support in advance.

Purchase books, groceries, strollers, exercise equipment, DVD’s, toys, and more on Amazon — there are few products that they do not sell!  Additionally, purchasing products on Amazon gives you the valuable opportunity to read prior customers’ reviews and testimonials, which aid your shopping decisions.

Once again, thank you.  I look forward to continuing to serve you with timely parenting tips and advice as soon as all of my soggy stuff is trashed!

To our children’s success,

Ellen

Back-To-School Inspiration!

Hello!

The summer is winding down, and I have neglected sending out
newsletters while we vacationed in Vermont. If you’ve never been
to Vermont, it’s one of the most beautiful states; you will find an
abundance of picturesque mountains, and clean, fresh air. The
alpine slides along the ski routes are appropriate for kids of all
ages- and adults! As a city girl, I thoroughly appreciated the
beauty of this Green Mountain state, and now I feel energized to
face the 2010/11 school year.

Has your child started school yet? My kids begin next week, so we
are busy buying, organizing, and labeling school supplies. (My
10-year-old needs 4 dozen pencils, individually labeled with his
name- that will keep us busy for an entire afternoon!)

There are a few ideas I have in mind to help you get this new
school year off to a successful start, and I’ll be sharing them in
the coming days.

Currently, I am in the process of re-working this website
http://ParentingRetreat.com to reflect that the Raising Small Souls
Parenting Retreat actually already took place in May, and the
audios and reports are all available now. One the page has been
updated, the price for all 35 hours of expert parenting audio and
bonuses will be $197- HOWEVER, right now, for a limited time, you
can use the code “backtoschool2010″ to take a mind-boggling $160
OFF the regular price.

Act quickly to start your child’s new school year on the right
foot: Increase your parenting confidence, knowledge, and “bag of
parenting tricks” right now for only $37- this offer is available
for a limited time.

Click here: http://ParentingRetreat.com (and, yes, I know that May of
2010 has already passed!)

Wishing you a wonderful 2010 Back-To-School-Season:)

Warmly,

Ellen

A Miraculous True Story

My husband left to New York at 4:00am this morning.  About two hours from
home, halfway between Baltimore and NY, he suddenly realized that he
had left an envelope with over $1,000 cash on the top of the car!
There was no way that the envelope was still on top of the car,
obviously, as he sped down the New Jersey Turnpike, so he called me at
home.   I picked up the phone.

“Ellen, this is an emergency,” I heard the panic in my husband’s tone.
“I accidentally left an envelope with over $1,000 on the roof of the
car, and I’m almost in NY, go outside and look for it right now!”

I threw a robe over my pajamas and ran outside.  I searched all
through our block, looking under cars and bushes.  After fifteen
minutes, I gave up and went back inside.   My heart was beating
furiously.  Most of that cash was earmarked for this month’s mortgage

payment!   I decided to go back outside, fueled by a mad rush of adrenalin.

I walked farther away from our house, and turned the corner to the next block.

There, in the center of the road, a full block from my home was a
dirty envelope, with a few greenbacks peaking out of one corner!  I
grabbed the envelope and danced home on a cloud of euphoria!
Three-and-a-half hours had passed since my husband’s drive began, and
tens of cars had driven over the envelope.  The neighborhood joggers and
power-walkers had passed right by my envelope.  And it was still
there, waiting for me.

Thank God!

I shared this story during a workshop tonight at the Parenting Retreat
when a presenter got cut off from the teleconference.  (It served its
purpose; the audience remained on the call until the presenter got
back on the line!  I also shared the story of my missing wedding band
ten years ago- it had been baked and frozen, and I found it in a bite
of my cake a week later!)

One participant, a kindly woman mother named Barbara, stated something
that gave me shivers.  ”This is the Universe repaying you, Ellen.
You’re giving all these incredible workshops to us, to help us become
better parents, and the Universe is giving back to you.”

My message to you is:  Thank you for being a part of
RaisingSmallSouls.  May we all merit parenting emotionally healthy
children.

Check out the Parenting Retreat now to see how it can help you

meet your dreams and goals.

P.S.  Here is today’s schedule.

Rent Books Online

If you’ve been around RaisingSmallSouls for even a short while, you’ll know that I love to read and highly encourage children to love reading.

Today, I am thrilled to tell you about my new best friend- BookSwim!

I was SO EXCITED when my first BookSwim package arrived this morning, that I took this video of myself opening it:

Rent books for children, for yourself, textbooks, and MORE!

Click here- Get your no-due-date books NOW!

Free coaching session with me!

As we gear up for 2010, there are lots of changes and resolutions on our minds.

Behind the scenes, I have been working to become certified as a Life Coach and Parenting Coach in two different programs. (Now I can relate to my kids having homework- and they laugh at the idea that Mom has to do her homework!)

One of my assignments is to record an actual parenting coaching call for my instructor, the esteemed Dr. Caron Goode of www.acpi.biz.

I’d like to invite you to apply for this free slot, where you will receive 45 minutes of personal coaching via phone. You’ll need to be available for 45 minutes at some point between 9:00am- 3:00pm EST during the week of January 11, 2009, and be able to call a USA phone number.

You are welcome to apply for this session below. It’s ok to use a pseudo name, however your email address (which will NOT show up in the post) must be valid, so that I can contact you!

Please answer the following questions:

1) What issues in life are you struggling with?
2) Which particular issue would you like to focus on during our session?
3) Envision the best possible outcome of this issue. What would that look like?

Post your answers below, and I will contact you via email to set up our appointment.

Heart Energy

I came across some fascinating studies from the HeartMath Institute regarding the human heart’s energy output- which can dramatically change the way we perceive our interaction with our family each morning!

Scientists have discovered that the output energy of the human heart is larger than any other organ, including the brain. They measured blood pressure, heartbeat, and muscle tension and discovered that feelings stay with a person for eight hours!

That means that if I say, “I love you” and give my child a hug or touch his shoulder in the morning, that positive energy will stay with him all through his school day.

If I yell, “Hurry up!” or scream and criticize during breakfast time, that negative energy will remain in my child’s heart for the next eight hours of his day.

Sometimes, learning one new fact can change or actions more effectively that months or years of goal-writing and self-made commitments. What do you think?

Your Audio Link

Congratulations!

You are one of the lucky readers who received the “How to Raise Resilient Kids” audio free today!

Click Here To Listen Or Download The Audio

Listen online  or download to your ipod.

I find that listening to inspirational materials on my mp3 player helps me clean the house faster!

P.S.   One quick favor:

When you are done, don’t say “Thank You”

Instead, please post your feedback and/or questions here:

http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/raising-resilient-kids/

Garden

Here’s our first tomato!

We picked 3 cucumbers, the zuchinnis are getting bigger, peppers are sprouting left and right, and our watermelon plant just got its first flower!

I will post more pictures soon:)

Too Many Emails!

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe…

She had so many emails she didn’t know what to do…

As the RaisingSmallSouls family grows, my inbox is growing.

And growing. And GROWING. AND GROWING SOME MORE!

I don’t want to ignore anyone. I wish I could give advice and support to every individual, as each person certainly deserves.

However, 300 parenting questions plus 200 site navigation questions plus another 100 miscellaneous RaisingSmallSouls questions do not make for lots of quality time with my children!

For the past week I have not been responding to emails; although I think it’s really rude behaviour.

I formulated a “canned” email that directs people to my parenting forum. However, copying and pasting that email and hitting ‘reply’ 500 times takes an hour or two of my day!

What should I do?

Be grateful I don’t live in a shoe!

Fish

Due to the feedback that you have given me, I would like to revise the fish slide in the Animal School movie so that no hard feelings are generated.

The slide currently reads as follows at the beginning of the movie:

The fish quit school because he was bored. To him, all four subjects were the same, but nobody understood that because they had never seen a fish.

And at the end of the movie:

The fish is a child who really requires full special education and should not be in the regular classroom.

Please keep your suggestions to approximately the same length, so that the music need not be re-looped!

Many Thanks!

{EDIT Sept 12, 06}   Scroll down to comment #318 for the updated fish slide!  (You may need to hit “control F5″ on your keyboard after the movie begins to clear your cache and view the updated Animal School.)

Low-Frustration-Tolerance & Stress-Relief

If you’re anything at all like me, you often read about parenting techniques… you even take the time and energy to think about exactly how you’d like to implement them with your family… and then- boom!- something sets you off and you forget all about the wisdom you have recently read.

In the heat of the moment, it is quite challenging to recall wise ideas when your child is in the process of destroying the house you’ve just cleaned, literally or figuratively!

Even if you are an exceptionally calm person right now, learning to lower your frustration tolerance will yield positive and lasting results for your family.

When you increase your ability to handle the ‘little stuff’ that life inevitably throws onto your lap, you will simultaneously be better equipped to handle the ‘big stuff’ – those giant curveballs of life that nobody can avoid!

A thought that helps me get through the challenging days is, “Raising children is not meant to be two decades of peaceful serenity… what’s going on is totally normal!”

What thoughts do you conjure up to bring you calmness during the heat of the moment? Please share them below!

I was recently speaking with my friend Sarah Zeldman, and kind soul that she is- Sarah is allowing you to download her ‘Stress-Relief-Kit-for-Moms’ at no charge! www.solutionsforbusymoms.com/free-stress-relief-kit/ . It’s an awesome way to recharge yourself, put things in perspective, and better nurture yourself so that you can be a more effective nurturer of your children!

Speaking of which, how many of us parents are truly taking the time and energy to nurture our own souls?

Is it possible for happy, confident, and emotionally healthy children to be raised by harried and tense parents?

What do you do to fill your personal ‘emotional bank account’ so that you are not running on empty when it’s time for you to focus on making deposits into your child’s ‘emotional bank account’?

Are you neglecting your personal spiritual, creative, emotional, or social needs because you are so busy with your family? Do yourself a favor and schedule some time here and there for you to recharge! After all, you’re wonderful, however you aren’t Energizer Bunny!

Although not quite the same as chatting with old friends, joining an Internet group of like-minded parents can be a wonderful and relaxing diversion. My friend Alice Seba runs a complementary and very friendly message board specifically for moms here: www.momstalkforum.com.

Depending upon how you were raised, the concept of a parent taking time for him/ herself to relax, unwind, and recharge without the children may seem a bit selfish. Rest assured that the better you take care of yourself, the more effectively a caregiver you will be for your children.

Sometimes, life has a way of keeping us so busy, and everyone else’s needs come first. Schedule time in your calendar to go to a bookstore, get a massage, meet a friend for lunch- whatever speaks to you- and watch a new sense of tranquility manifest itself in your home!

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