Teaching Kids To Respect & Appreciate The Older Generation
November 30, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Values & Ethics
The number of Americans over 65 years of age has tripled
since the beginning of the 20th century and is expected to double yet again
2020. Numbers alone demonstrate the opportunity available to encourage c
positive, reciprocal relationships with people of an older generation. Althou
between the two groups is often viewed as an obstacle, there are many way
bridged to promote a positive experience for both children and seniors as th
the benefits of an intergenerational relationship.
Create Enjoyable Associations
Young children especially are often afraid of older people, particularly if they don’t spend a lot
of time around them. The aged appearance and voice of a senior citizen can come across as
scary and is often portrayed that way in television shows and movies. If your child doesn’t have
grandparents nearby, it’s important that you take the time to create pleasurable associations
regarding spending time around older people. Doing so can help ease a false sense of fear and
replace it with feelings of happiness and anticipation of the next get-together.
Take your young child to the library to listen to an older volunteer read stories. Find out if your
church or child’s school has a buddy program that pairs children with a senior citizen and take
advantage of such a program to build pleasant experiences between your child and the older
generation.
Children aren’t the only ones to benefit from an intergenerational relationship. In fact, when
children find out they can help the older people in their life, it boosts confidence, and fosters
respect and appreciation. Have your child swap planned learning time with the older person in
their life for mutual learning opportunities that help foster a strong foundation for their
relationship. The technology of today gives your child the skills to teach an older person how to
do things on the computer, while an older adult can teach your child how to play a game or do
a craft that was popular when they were young.
These types of activities build respect by giving children a firsthand experience of the
knowledge an older person can share. Community centers are an ideal place in which to seek
out or create a program that brings children and older adults together. Time spent together on
learning skills, games and activities that enrich a child’s life fosters a natural progression in the
relationship that leads to appreciation and respect.
Young children get tired and restless quickly, and so do some older adults. Random, unplanned
get-togethers can upset the schedule of an older adult, as well as that of a child. By planning
appropriately, you ensure that both your child and the older adult are ready for a get-together
and have engaging activities to keep them busy and make the time enjoyable for both.
Go for quality over quantity when planning together time. A young child’s level of activity might
initially be energizing to an older adult but hours of it can be exhausting. Conversely, an older
adult can have a calming effect on an active child, but after a while soothing can turn into
boring. Experiment with different lengths of time to see what works best. Watch for cues from
your child and the older adult to be proactive and prevent problems.
Promoting an intergenerational relationship between your child and an older adult does more
than teach your child to respect and appreciate them. It helps preserve history, opens a child’s
eyes to diversity, and expands their world in a way that no other type of friendship can.
Olivia Stanford is a lifestyle consultant and writes for dogwoodforest.com, a beautiful
assisted living atlanta facility for senior citizens of Georgia.
Conflict Resolution and Sharing Toys
November 14, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Conflict Resolution, Latest News, Problem Solving

The rain has finally stopped here in Cleveland and we have had a few of days of sunshine. The sandbox in the park had a couple of days to dry up. My two younger children were itching to get themselves dirty.
My son took out the sand toys. There is one toy in particular that they have a hard time sharing. When he brought it out, I inwardly groaned, remembering all the fights the kids had over this particular pail that made a smiley face in the sand.
I thought that we need a plan and I quickly used some of the tips that I had just taught in my sibling class.
1. Name the problem:
Me: “Oh no! That smiley face pail always gives us problems. It is tough to share. Both of you always want that one first.”
2. Be positive and invite them to think of solutions:
Me:” I know we can think of a solution. I am sure if we put our heads together we can figure out how to share this toy.” Maybe we can think of some rules to help us share it.”
Sara: “I know we can each have it for 5 minutes”
Me to Mikey: “How will that work for you?”
Mikey: “No way I need more than 5 minutes!”
3. Offer choices:
Me to Mikey: Ok, you need more time than 5 minutes- how many minutes do you think you need? 5or 10 minutes?
Mikey:”10 minutes”
Me to Sara: “He needs ten minutes, will that work for you?”
Sara: “Yes.”
4. Name the problem again:
Me: “Ok, good we figured out how many minutes for each of you guys. Now the next problem is who is going to use it first. How should we figure that out?”
Sara: “He can go first, if you help me on the swings.”
Me: That sounds like a good plan. I can help you on the swings.
5. Praise children for a solution and reiterate the plan:
“I am so glad we figured out a solution. We really put our heads together. Mikey is going to go first with the sand pail while Sara and I play on the swings. After 10 minutes it will be Sara’s turn. Then after those 10 minutes we will switch again. Let’s get started!”
Crisis averted! Staying calm, positive and solution oriented is the trick to helping children to get along. To learn more on how to help your children get along buy our “How To Handle Sibling Rivalry Without Losing Your Mind” audios.
Monitoring Early Childhood Development
November 8, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Child Development, Parenting Toddlers
Guest post: This post was written by Adriana Copaceanu on behalf of Cute Diaper Bags, specializing in reviewing the latest diaper bags for moms who want functional as well as trendy baby bags. Her top recommendation? Petunia Pickle Bottom Diaper Bags
The growth of a child is incredibly important. Parents invest time, money and
energy in making sure that their children are growing mentally, emotionally and
physically in the proper manner. There are a number of resources that are
available to help parents track and monitor the development of their children.
Early childhood development is extremely important for number of reasons. The
ability to know if a child is developing at a normal pace is very important in
order to identify any possible problems such as autism. Parents of young
children should note a number of different factors when they are trying to
monitor their children’s progression. Taking the time to notice even the
smallest things about a child’s development can ensure that children are
receiving the proper stimulation and if necessary help for any issues.
For parents, particularly those that are new to raising children, there are a
number of resources available to help with the monitoring of a child’s
development. One of the best resources is the family physician or the child’s
pediatrician. This individual is core to analyzing how a child is developing and
if there are any issues that need to be addressed. Oftentimes, when parents are
concerned about such issues as their children not speaking, not listening to
what is being said or an issue with physical growth, the pediatrician is one of
the first people that is consulted. Pediatricians are experts on early childhood
development and can be of great assistance to parents that have some concerns
about their children. Parents should not hesitate to consult with their child’s
pediatrician if they feel as if there is a developmental delay. The sooner such
issues are addressed the better able a child can be assisted.
There also a number of resources that are available throughout the Internet.
There are many organizations that cater to providing parents with information in
regards to early childhood development. These resources can be very informative
and can assist parents in understanding where their children should be
developmentally by a certain age. It is very important to understand that
children do develop differently. However, they are certain characteristics that
are applicable to children at certain ages. Such developmental features as fine
motor skills, the ability to talk and social integration are very important.
There are a variety of websites and forums where parents can locate information
pertaining to childhood development. Furthermore, the forums that are available
allow parents to discuss amongst themselves any problems and concerns and to
pose questions that other parents may be able to answer.
Watching a child steadily growing as a person is in an amazing experience for
any parent. Making sure that children are developing in the proper manner is
very important in order to identify any issues that can possibly be rectified
while the child is still impressionable and able to be treated. Also, knowing
that a child is developing in a manner that is conducive to healthy growth
provides parents with peace of mind. It is highly recommended that parents
become very proactive when it comes to the growth and development of their
children.
Effective Parenting Questions
September 23, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Ask The Experts, Communication, Latest News
Questions seem to be a popular technique that parents use when communicating with their children. As a parent educator I was always trained to be careful when questioning children because we parents will use questions to:
Admonish our children:
“Why do you always have to give me a problem when you get into the car?”
Initiate conversations:
“How was school?”
Undermine A Child’s Feelings:
“Why are you getting angry, its no big deal?” “What are you getting so excited for, its not like I am asking you to clean the whole house, just your room?”
Criticize:
“Why are you wearing that?”
Motivate:
“Don’t you want to do your homework now instead of waiting for the last minute?”
Control:
“What time are you going? Who is going with you? Do you think this is a good idea? When will you be back? Who is driving?”
I think you get the picture. Children become confused and overwhelmed when they are asked many questions. They find even the simplest questions to be intrusive and annoying. Often they close down, refusing to communicate.
So is there ever a time when we can question our kids?
As a speech therapist I was trained to only ask open-ended questions as opposed to close ended questions. This technique is used in many fields, education, counseling, mediation, and journalism.
According to mediacollege.com, an open-ended question is designed to encourage a full, meaningful answer using the subject’s own knowledge and/or feelings. It is the opposite of a closed-ended question, which encourages a short or single-word answer. Hence, the reason why kids will not talk to us when we say, “So, what did you do in school today?” Open-ended questions also tend to be more objective and less leading than closed-ended questions.
Open-ended questions typically begin with words such as “Why” and “How”, or phrases such as “Tell me about…”. Often they are not technically a question, but a statement which implicitly asks for a response and helps promote conversation.
For example, instead of asking:
“Why do you always have to give me a problem when you get into the car?”
Ask:
“Can you tell me the best way for you to get into the car?”
Instead of:
“How was school?”
Say:
“Tell me a little about your new math teacher, I hear he has a new way of teaching algebra.”
Instead of:
“Why are you getting angry, its no big deal?”
Ask:
“Can you give me an idea of why you sound so frustrated about cleaning your room?”
Instead of:
“Why are you wearing that?”
Try:
“Can you tell me if there is a dress code for this event?”
Instead of:
“Don’t you want to do your homework now instead of waiting for the last minute?”
Try:
“Can you tell me your plans for getting your homework done tonight?”
Instead of:
“What time are you going? Who is going with you? Do you think this is a good idea? When will you be back? Who is driving?”
Ask:
“I am concerned about your schedule tonight. Can you give me a minute to let me know, time of departure, the friends going with you, designated driver and when you will be home?”
Talking effectively to kids can take a lot of patience and practice. Asking the right questions can help.
Keeping Up With the Little One: Raising Your Energy Level
September 1, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Problem Solving
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<img src=“http://mrg.bz/467wM3″>
As a parent you have many obstacles to face. You become completely responsible for a whole new life. As your child grows, you as a parent grow also. The one obstacle that almost every parent faces is how to keep up with your new bundle of needy joy. Raising your energy level is not only important but required to assure you don’t fall behind. If you have a plan to keep your energy at a healthy level, you can chase the little ones around all day and still feel great. There are a few things to consider when maintaining your energy level.
<img src=http://mrg.bz/gaUT9K>
Exercise:
It may sound confusing; how can exerting energy help you increase your energy? Studies show exercise is actually very important for maintaining your energy level. Try beginning every day with a small routine before the little ones get up. If that is not possible, then try to sneak some personal time for yourself when they nap. Not every new parent can make it to the gym each day so small routines at home can help keep your energy levels rising.
Diet:
This is where it gets tricky. Many new mothers are all over the place with cravings and aversions. Add to that the fact that most new mothers decide to breastfeed their baby. That means that she has to be concerned with the way the baby reacts to her diet. Careful consideration of what to ingest should always be taken.
In a fast food, energy drink, quick fix world, what you eat and drink are not always the best. With new parents short on time and energy, they don’t make an effort to prepare healthier meals. This is an important time to start. Keeping a healthy diet will not only give your newborn the nutrients needed to grow strong and healthy, but it can also keep your energy levels at their prime.
<img src=http://mrg.bz/TNCLUE/>
Choose foods with natural sugars. Try trading the morning cup of coffee for an apple. Studies show an apple in the morning can wake you up better than a cup of your favorite brew, and won’t give you the caffeine crash later. Choose foods high in Vitamin C as it allows your body to absorb more Iron, which in turns brings more oxygen to your blood and gives you a natural energy boost.
Supplements:
The word supplements scares many who do not understand exactly what they are. With companies categorizing diet pills and energy drinks as supplements, most stay away from them all together. Supplements however, are a way to give your body what it’s lacking from improper diet. The store shelves are now lined with natural supplements that can bring you back to life to follow your diapered speed demon around. Before starting a supplement regiment, consult your doctor if you are breastfeeding.
Check the labels before taking supplements. Try to avoid any supplement that includes caffeine or processed sugars. Some all natural supplements such as guarana, echinacea, spirulina, and garlic can boost your energy and keep you healthy enough to enjoy the joys of parenthood. Based on your needs, your doctor can suggest a regiment that would be right for you.
Being a parent can be draining. In a world where everything seems to be on fast forward, new parents can crash and burn quickly. Eating properly, exercising and getting on a supplemental regiment can give you the fuel your body needs to make every moment with your child a blissful memory. Take the time to plan your day, meals and routine so you don’t miss out on the wonder your child can bring to your life.
Get the Little Ones Off to Sleep With These Top Tips
September 1, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Problem Solving
Guest post: This post was written by Sophie Baker-Britton on behalf of My Duvet and Pillow, specialists in expertly crafted down duvets and pillows for children and adults alike.
Many parents will be familiar with the challenges faced when putting your child to bed at night; from temper tantrums to simply not being able to drift off, energy levels and patience quickly diminish in light of this nightly occurrence. If you are looking for solutions that aid your child’s sleeping pattern, there are many avenues to explore, from the purchase of down duvets to enhance comfort, to the implementation of a reward chart based upon night time routines. Read on as these tried and tested methods are discussed, providing you with the inspiration you need to ensure a great night’s sleep for all.
Tip One – High Quality Bedding
It’s amazing what a difference expertly designed duvets and pillows can do to help a child drift off to sleep with ease. Bedding made from natural materials is the ideal choice as they help to regulate body temperature thanks to their breathable properties. Goose down traps more air than other fillings which in turn reduces the amount of down needed to create a comfortable temperature. This means your child can climb into bed without being weighed down by heavy bedding and also remains at a comfortable temperature throughout the night.
Temperature control plays a vital role in aiding your child’s sleep, which is why choosing a lightweight duvet with enhanced thermal performance will certainly reduce the chances of your child waking throughout the night.
Tip Two – Create a Beautiful Bedroom
Getting your child excited about their bedroom is a significant step towards a peaceful night. Take the time to ask your child what they think would make their bedroom truly special and use your own creativity to come up with a design they will love. From a fairyland to a creepy-crawly extravaganza, make sure your child’s bedroom is a reflection of everything they love to encourage them to spend time in there.
Tip Three – Implement a Reward Chart
This is a fantastic tip for those in need of a little extra help when getting the children into bed and off to sleep. Establish a set routine that incorporates everything your child does in the run up to saying goodnight and document this on a brightly coloured chart. Star stickers can be used when your child has completed each part, from putting their pyjamas on without argument to brushing their teeth well. Tell your child that the final star will be added in the morning once they have stayed in their own bed without fuss for the night.
Take the time to explain the chart to your child and discuss a suitable reward for them, such as a family activity or a sweet treat. It is advisable to start the chart on a Sunday and explain that a reward will be given on the following Saturday if they have achieved a week of good night time behaviour.
With patience and determination, you can lead the way to a restful night’s sleep for the whole family. Every parent can sympathise with the ease of giving in, but making a few changes and remaining strong will lead to you reaping the benefits in the end. Give these top tips a go and see the difference they can make to your child’s night time behaviour.
Summer Fun with The Kids
July 21, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Problem Solving
Guest post by Liz at Playsmart UK, who install safety surfacing for children’s play
areas.
There is a wealth of games and activities to enjoy with your children this year-
don’t feel daunted by the stretch of school holidays, this is an opportunity to
make the most of your time together. There are family days out to be had, or
plenty of pastimes to keep the little ones entertained over the summer. Here are
just a few suggestions:
Outdoor Play
The summer months mean long, hot afternoons in the garden or local park, if
you don’t have any outside space at the house. Children generally love to get
involved with nature, so why not let them grow their own plants? Sunflowers
are relatively easy to grow and children can compete to have the tallest. Apart
from this, there is bird watching to enjoy, drawing in nature or just making daisy
chains. If you want to invest in outdoor play equipment, climbing frames, slides
or a simple sand pit are firm favorites.
Traditional Games
Bring the fun of the school playground home for the holidays- let the kids invite
some friends round and play some games. ‘Tag” is a perennial choice, but
try “What’s the Time Mr. Wolf?” “Duck, Duck, Goose” or “Hide and Seek”. Children
love it when adults take the time to be silly- plus, the energy used up means
bedtime is easier!
Zoo Trips
Take kids to the zoo and help them learn about animals. Conservation programs
are often based at zoos and baby animals are often born in the spring and
summer months. Seeing the younger animals is often very educational, besides
which they are very cute!
Picnics
The freedom to pack up a hamper full of food and a blanket is something you
don’t have in the winter, so enjoy it while you can. Take jam sandwiches, fairy
cakes and other items of your child’s favorite food- and mealtimes become fun!
Just make sure to take juice boxes rather than cups for juice and squash- spilt
drinks are a haven for ants and wasps!
So there you have just a small taste of what’s on offer – but all you need to do is
keep an eye out for local events for families and you’ll be surprised at what else
pops up. Just don’t forget the sunscreen!
Internet Safety: Your Children and Social Networking Sites
July 18, 2011 by Guest blogger
Filed under Latest News, Problem Solving
Social media is of course the most well-known of all ways we use the internet and most of us are well acquainted with FaceBook and sometimes other social networking sites. Social media however extends to YouTube, MySpace, Twitter and many other sites that encourage social sharing and interaction. In this article we look at how social networking sites are used and the potential pit falls that are there.
In order to educate our children in online safety you need to understand what they are using the internet for and how current generations are taking advantage of online social media and online sites. Whilst you might be relatively internet savvy your children are often going to be more so. With that in mind we are going to cover the most common uses your children use social networking for and warn you of the potential dangers they may face.
Facebook has quickly become one of the key ways children interact with their friends online and there are a huge number of ways they do so. If you are not familiar with FaceBook then you should familiarise yourself with the options available online. FaceBook allows users to share messages, videos, photos and share their interests with other people in their social network. The site also offers games, advertising and a plethora of other options. FaceBook has come under severe criticism previously for its security and you need to make sure that children are using security and not befriending people they don’t know. The number of friends you have on FaceBook has become a social status symbol amongst large numbers of youngsters and this can encourage your children to seek friends they don’t know. Guarding against this is a good idea so that you can ensure your child is only befriending people they know. Additionally you need to understand that many children now use social networking sites as their primary mode of communication and that there is no moderation of what their friends and they themselves can say or post on their profile. This means that your child can be exposed to, and expose themselves to, a large amount of inappropriate language and content that is posted by their friends online. For this reason you need to talk to your child carefully about appropriate online behaviour and how they should react to inappropriate exposures. Caution them about their behaviour and explain that anything they share online (even in private) can potentially be shared amongst many more people. Finally you need to be aware that bullying has become increasingly commonplace on social networking sites and you need to talk to your children openly about how to react to this kind of behaviour.
MySpace
MySpace is similar to FaceBook but much more public. It is a site where you present yourself your interests and can edit your page and show details publicly. You have the options to befriend people, follow people and share images and videos. Much of what we have already covered with FaceBook applies here but you also need to be aware that MySpace is much more public than FaceBook. With that in mind you need to ensure your children are very careful with what they post online on this site and caution them heavily against their interactions.
Twitter is different from other social networking sites in that you only send short messages without attachments of private information being freely accessible. Tweets are shot messages that your followers receive. Whilst this is a relatively secure form of social networking you need to be aware that tweets even amongst friends can be harmful and that children should still be exercising caution when using these forms of interaction.
With all social networking you need to ensure that your children are exercising caution and behaving appropriately themselves. If they are not then they expose themselves to danger and other problems. So you should educate them and yourself in how to behave, report inappropriate behaviour and how to guard their privacy.
Jane writes about internet safety in order to help raise awareness to parents about the potential dangers of the digital world.
Giving Kids Confidence While Growing Up
July 4, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Child Development
One of the best things that you can do as a parent is to help your child develop into a healthy, confident adult. As a bonus, it’s also inexpensive to do. Lots of hugs and kisses, compliments on jobs well done and an ear ready to listen won’t cost you a cent. No matter what age your child is, here are some ideas to help you give them confidence at their present stage of life.
Babies
Practicing attachment parenting is a great way to start your child’s life. When they are carried in a sling on your body, fed when they signal that they are hungry and are responded to promptly when other needs arise, they start to learn that they are important and that their needs will be met.
• Respond to Their Needs Consistently and Quickly
Children thrive on routine and consistency. Make some simple rituals for feeding, changing times and bed times so that the child learns what happens next. If you can’t respond to them immediately, talk to them while you are finishing your task and let them know what you are doing and that you will be there in a moment.
• Share In Their Enthusiasm and Excitement in Learning
There’s not a parent out there who doesn’t get tired of playing peek-a-boo, but the game does wonders for your baby’s confidence. Once he gets the hang of it, he is encouraged to try over and over because of his previous success.
Toddlers
As your child reaches his toddler years, he is more capable of taking care of himself, like putting on clothes, and helping in the house by picking up toys. Toddlers also begin to master critical thinking and also can be very emotional. It’s important for parents to model confidence and how to handle their feelings since the children will emulate what they see.
• Give Your Child Simple Household Tasks To Complete
Kids love helping out and, when trained to do tasks properly, the parents will benefit from their child’s enthusiasm to help. Start with one or two simple tasks and model the steps for your child. If you find him cleaning the sink with his sock, explain that this is not a good choice and remind him where to find the cleaning rags. When he’s done, compliment him on a job well done.
• Support Them in Trying New Things
This is a period of great learning and accomplishment. If your child wants to carry his own plate to the table, let him try. When an accident happens, help them clean up and talk about why it happened; don’t scold them, just educate them.
Elementary School
Children can easily start to lose confidence when they start school since there will be pressure to get good grades and be well liked. Don’t label your child; it’s possibly the worst thing you can do. Acknowledge their success and help them to become better in the areas in which they struggle.
• Invite Friends To Your Home
In this way you can see what’s going on in your child’s life and see how the other kids influence him. You can also set an example by your actions, something other kid’s might not get from their own parents.
Adolescence
This is a trying time for some families. Help your child to express his feelings through talking or writing. Keeping them to themselves is not helpful to becoming a confident teen.
• Family Discussions
This is a time where it’s very important to have family meals together so that your child can talk, ask questions and you can give advice.
• Help Them to See Their Value
When your child is experiencing a down day, help them make a list of all the things they excel at and how they add to your family and their school.
Emma Martin is an avid garage sale fan, regularly scouring her city for unique finds and great deals. Weirdest thing she ever bought at a yard sale: a dinner plate with George W. Bush’s picture covering it. She is a content contributor for
Children and Choices: Encouraging Responsible Behavior
June 27, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Latest News, Problem Solving
I am glad you can join us for our latest “Parenting Simply” class:
“Children and Choices: Encouraging Responsible Behavior”
Sponsored By: RaisingSmallSouls.com
Wednesday, June 29
9-9:30pm EST
In this class you will learn:
- How To Help Your Child Listen
- How To Encourage Responsible Behavior
- How To Increase Your Child’s Confidence
- How To Improve Your Child’s Ability To Make The Right Decisions (even when you are not there!)
The following are the telephone numbers and access code for the live class:
Children and Choices: Encouraging Responsible Behavior
Wednesday, June 29, 9-9:30pm EST
For the class: (209) 647-1000
Access code: 804733#
For the recording: (209) 647-1999
Access code: 804733#
We hope you enjoy.
Adina Soclof
Ellen C. Braun
For more information visit us at www.parentingsimply.com
Children and Charity
June 22, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Latest News, Values & Ethics
Involving Children in Philanthropy
Encouraging your child to take an interest in charity from an early age not only benefits which ever worthy cause grabs their attention, but can also play a massive role in boosting their own personal development.
You might think sparking your child’s interest in charity will be difficult; after all, many charities work to try and eradicate problems of an ‘adult’ nature that many think of as being beyond a child’s grasp.
Admittedly, the sense of empathy that leads most adults to make charitable donations depends on them being able to understand the context of other people’s suffering and imagine themselves in such a position. Children can find this difficult, given their limited frame of reference for comprehending the world around them.
However, I’ve always been inspired by children’s keenly developed sense of injustice. As annoying as it is to hear repeated moans of “but it’s not fair!” over trivial issues such as bed times, a child’s natural desire for justice can be used to divert attentions away from selfish concerns, towards the plight of the genuinely needy.
Normalise Giving
For us to become truly committed to anything it needs to become part of our everyday routine. Children are, naturally, more flexible in their routines than adults. Any parent can tell you how something can be a matter of life and death to a child one week, then completely forgotten about by the next. Having said this, the ideas we pick up as children have the potential to stay with us forever.
Therefore, it is important to try and make giving to charity feel like a normal thing. A great way of doing this is to encourage your child to give a portion of the regular allowance they earn from doing chores to a charity.
In any case, when giving your child an allowance, it can be a good idea to help them draft up a little budget to decide how much they want to spend on small treats and how much they want to save towards something big. You might try and get them to include a good cause in this budget.
This will help prepare them for when they have an adult’s income, not all of which is disposable. Budgeting in this way will also increase your child’s appreciation of money as, even if you aren’t making them work particularly hard for it, they will have to think more carefully about the conundrum attached to all spending, namely, ‘what is most worthy of my cash?’
Business people and economists would call this ‘opportunity cost’, meaning the cost of having to choose one thing over another. Co-creating a budget with your child helps them understand this issue and appreciate their money more. Therefore, giving money away not only becomes a regular part of their lives, they also understand better the value of what it means to give.
Celebrate Charity
You can go one step further than this by making charity a central part of the special occasions your child looks forward to, such as Christmas. It is very easy to work charity into your fun family traditions.
For example, in the run up to Christmas you could set up a routine of clearing the kid’s rooms, picking out old toys that they no longer need and donating them to charity. They’ll associate this with the magic of the season, and, if you remind them that, after all, they’re making room for new toys, they can still see the sacrifice involved as something exciting.
As a parent I’ve found this has a pleasing double effect. For one thing the kids come to understand that there are people out there having a tougher time of it and are pleased to help out truly needy kids. Secondly, as a side effect of this realisation they appreciate their own gifts all the more.
As children don’t really have the means to go out and buy gifts for other people and, because they tend to receive so many gifts themselves, it is natural enough that most kids think of Christmas as being all about them. Indeed, it is very hard to resist encouraging this by spoiling your kids and experiencing their innocent joy vicariously. Encouraging them to see the holiday in a bigger context helps them adjust to the idea they are apart of a world that extends beyond their own existence.
Empower Kids to Give
Of course, encouraging kids to do good deeds isn’t all that useful if they don’t understand why it is good. Children pick up their moral sensibility from their parents and, despite the fact that every young child’s favourite phrase is “why?”, they often do not question the ethical code they inherit.
Obviously, this is a good thing to a large extent. Helping a four year old through an existential crisis is a challenge for any parent! However, it is good for a child’s moral development not to simply see ‘good’ and ‘bad’ as arbitrary labels you, or another figure of authority have decided on.
Getting a child to choose which charity they’d like to contribute to is a good of way getting them to realize their own beliefs. Picking a charity will make a child think about what makes a cause worth contributing to, rather than simply chalking it down as a good deed without thinking about it.
Making a gift donation in a child’s name often falls flat as a gesture as, to be honest, most kids would prefer a toy, and, as they had no role in making the decision they don’t feel attached to the cause. However, you can buy gift cards which work like online vouchers and allow kids to donate to charities of their own choosing. Kids often thrive when they feel they have a sense of responsibility and will want to get involved with anything that makes them feel empowered.
Getting Involved in the Community
Charity events offer a good chance for kids to interact with their peers and get involved in the community whilst learning about collaborative efforts. Even something simple like a bake sale will cover these areas whilst being fun, engaging and involving responsibility.
Encourage your children to get involved in, or perhaps even introduce, charitable activities to the social clubs they attend, such as their softball team or dance class. If you to are involved in the club it can provide the kids with a great opportunity to take matters into their own hands. You can consult them on their own fund raising ideas and give them a large role in the organising of the events. This will allow children to take ownership of their actions.
This is important for children, as without this sense of ownership they will take less sense of fulfillment from their positive actions. It can also one of the factors behind children‘s misbehaviour. If children are always simply being told to do the right thing and exactly how to do it, the may have to resort to naughtiness simply for the feeling of having done something for themselves.
Preparing for the Future
In conclusion teaching kids about charity at an early age can help develop a sense of ethics, budgeting, independence, organisational skills and can even be a start to developing a great CV (many colleges look to see how involved candidates have been in extra curricular community services as part of their admissions processes). If it involves events such as sponsored runs charity can even improve your child’s fitness!
Given all these different areas that giving to charity touches on, it really is a great way to help your children become conscientious citizens who, hopefully, will grow up realizing there’s more to philanthropy than tax breaks.
Guest post by Steve Waller, helping people find care assistant jobs in the UK via his comprehensive search engine.
Kids Gardening Lessons
June 16, 2011 by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Latest News, Values & Ethics
The warm weather is here, and the great outdoors has so many lessons for us to teach our children while we are out and about!
As I was planting the vegetable garden in our yard, the following thought came to me:
Weeds are easy.
There’s no need to till the ground, add special nutrients to the soil, put up gates to keep out the deer, or water the weeds. No, none of that is necessary at all. The weeds just grow on their own. What could be easier?
On the other hand, lots of effort is required to plant strong and healthy tomato plants. (As my broken nails and scrapes can attest to!) Since the soil in Baltimore is acidic, I added lime to the potting mix. Let’s not even talk about tilling hard soil filled with tree roots! Staking the plants, watering, fertilizing, keeping the hungry animals away… getting buckets filled with homegrown tomatoes takes quite a bit of effort.
And that’s exactly the point of this little article:
The negative stuff comes easily. Like fast growing weeds, it’s easy to complain, get angry, or worry incessantly.
The positive stuff takes effort. It doesn’t come naturally to swallow our anger and stay calm in the face of adversity. It takes quite a bit of effort to see the positive side of life and avoid complaining about the negatives.
And, as nature has shown us, weeds are easy.
When we lose ourselves in anger and complaints, we’re just letting weeds grow wild. When we make the effort to see our glasses as half-full and keep impulsive reactions of anger under wraps by maintaining a calm disposition, we are growing our personal self-development garden.
Next time your child throws a tantrum (or next time you do!), show her the weeds outside. It’s easy to lose control and kick and scream. Tending to strong plants, like displaying calm reactions, takes effort. This is the kind of effort that results in fulfilling relationships, many real friendships, and internal peace of mind.





