The growth of a child is incredibly important. Parents invest time, money and
energy in making sure that their children are growing mentally, emotionally and
physically in the proper manner. There are a number of resources that are
available to help parents track and monitor the development of their children.
Early childhood development is extremely important for number of reasons. The
ability to know if a child is developing at a normal pace is very important in
order to identify any possible problems such as autism. Parents of young
children should note a number of different factors when they are trying to
monitor their children’s progression. Taking the time to notice even the
smallest things about a child’s development can ensure that children are
receiving the proper stimulation and if necessary help for any issues.

For parents, particularly those that are new to raising children, there are a
number of resources available to help with the monitoring of a child’s
development. One of the best resources is the family physician or the child’s
pediatrician. This individual is core to analyzing how a child is developing and
if there are any issues that need to be addressed. Oftentimes, when parents are
concerned about such issues as their children not speaking, not listening to
what is being said or an issue with physical growth, the pediatrician is one of
the first people that is consulted. Pediatricians are experts on early childhood
development and can be of great assistance to parents that have some concerns
about their children. Parents should not hesitate to consult with their child’s
pediatrician if they feel as if there is a developmental delay. The sooner such
issues are addressed the better able a child can be assisted.

There also a number of resources that are available throughout the Internet.
There are many organizations that cater to providing parents with information in
regards to early childhood development. These resources can be very informative
and can assist parents in understanding where their children should be
developmentally by a certain age. It is very important to understand that
children do develop differently. However, they are certain characteristics that
are applicable to children at certain ages. Such developmental features as fine
motor skills, the ability to talk and social integration are very important.
There are a variety of websites and forums where parents can locate information
pertaining to childhood development. Furthermore, the forums that are available
allow parents to discuss amongst themselves any problems and concerns and to
pose questions that other parents may be able to answer.

Watching a child steadily growing as a person is in an amazing experience for
any parent. Making sure that children are developing in the proper manner is
very important in order to identify any issues that can possibly be rectified
while the child is still impressionable and able to be treated. Also, knowing
that a child is developing in a manner that is conducive to healthy growth
provides parents with peace of mind. It is highly recommended that parents
become very proactive when it comes to the growth and development of their
children.

Babies

Practicing attachment parenting is a great way to start your child’s life. When they are carried in a sling on your body, fed when they signal that they are hungry and are responded to promptly when other needs arise, they start to learn that they are important and that their needs will be met.

• Respond to Their Needs Consistently and Quickly
Children thrive on routine and consistency. Make some simple rituals for feeding, changing times and bed times so that the child learns what happens next. If you can’t respond to them immediately, talk to them while you are finishing your task and let them know what you are doing and that you will be there in a moment.

• Share In Their Enthusiasm and Excitement in Learning
There’s not a parent out there who doesn’t get tired of playing peek-a-boo, but the game does wonders for your baby’s confidence. Once he gets the hang of it, he is encouraged to try over and over because of his previous success.

Toddlers

As your child reaches his toddler years, he is more capable of taking care of himself, like putting on clothes, and helping in the house by picking up toys. Toddlers also begin to master critical thinking and also can be very emotional. It’s important for parents to model confidence and how to handle their feelings since the children will emulate what they see.

• Give Your Child Simple Household Tasks To Complete
Kids love helping out and, when trained to do tasks properly, the parents will benefit from their child’s enthusiasm to help. Start with one or two simple tasks and model the steps for your child. If you find him cleaning the sink with his sock, explain that this is not a good choice and remind him where to find the cleaning rags. When he’s done, compliment him on a job well done.

• Support Them in Trying New Things
This is a period of great learning and accomplishment. If your child wants to carry his own plate to the table, let him try. When an accident happens, help them clean up and talk about why it happened; don’t scold them, just educate them.

Elementary School

Children can easily start to lose confidence when they start school since there will be pressure to get good grades and be well liked. Don’t label your child; it’s possibly the worst thing you can do. Acknowledge their success and help them to become better in the areas in which they struggle.

• Invite Friends To Your Home
In this way you can see what’s going on in your child’s life and see how the other kids influence him. You can also set an example by your actions, something other kid’s might not get from their own parents.

Adolescence

This is a trying time for some families. Help your child to express his feelings through talking or writing. Keeping them to themselves is not helpful to becoming a confident teen.

• Family Discussions
This is a time where it’s very important to have family meals together so that your child can talk, ask questions and you can give advice.

• Help Them to See Their Value
When your child is experiencing a down day, help them make a list of all the things they excel at and how they add to your family and their school.

Emma Martin is an avid garage sale fan, regularly scouring her city for unique finds and great deals. Weirdest thing she ever bought at a yard sale: a dinner plate with George W. Bush’s picture covering it. She is a content contributor for YardSaleSearch.com.

Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Our children are experiencing pessimism, sadness, passivity, and obesity at unprecedented levels today. This is happening despite massive self-esteem campaigns and the natural optimism of children.

One of the world’s foremost experts on self-esteem, Dr. Nathaniel Brandon, believes that self-esteem has two basic components. The first is competence – the ability or skill to perform or basically get through the day. Most people either have skill or can acquire it fairly easily.

The second is a feeling of worthiness and deserving to be happy. This is where most people fall short. This feeling of self-worth – deserving to do, have, or become – is nurtured from a very early age and is enormously influenced by parents. This feeling is closely tied to using positive language too, because we begin to frame our child’s world at a very early age with our words and the images they evoke. Feelings of self-worth come from being taught, encouraged, and praised with respect to achieving and accomplishing. What most of us don’t realized however is that the achievements and accomplishments don’t have to be monumental to win your praise and approval.

As Dr. Brandon says, “Of all of the value judgments we made in our lives, there is none more important than the judgment we place on ourselves.” Our self-esteem is the reputation we have with ourselves, and it can only be acquired from within. This is not an instant verdict; it’s a feeling developed over time, a deep intuition about who we believe we are. Nor is self-esteem harmed or bolstered by a single event, choice, or act. Rather, it is developed over a long period, and through a series of choices and decisions. To put it simply, healthy self-esteem is not acquired as a result of anything external; it’s more of a spiritual accomplishment.

I am an adamant believer that people, including children, will not harm something or someone they value, including themselves. I also believe that, for the most part, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. If your child is a poor concept of self-worth, most likely one or both parents will be as well.

Self-esteem is critical because it will affect virtually everything about our children: whether they use and/or abuse drugs, alcohol, or tobacco; whom they choose to socialize with and how; their level of education; their fitness and health-related habits; how they look and present themselves to the world; how much money they will make; whether they will become self-employed or work for someone else; how long they will work and what they will do; whether they will marry and whom; whether they will have children and, if so, how they will raise them; where they will live; the car they drive; their level of stability and how they will cope with life; and this is just a partial list.

Developing good habits requires a purpose in life, and purpose requires a healthy self-esteem and a sense of confidence and worthiness.

One of your greatest tasks as a parent is to help your children find and develop this purpose in their lives. To accomplish this, you must be patient, nurturing, and open to change. Self-discovery is a process of living and learning over a lifetime. It’s a journey, not a destination. You, as a parent, are your child’s tour guide.

So what can we as parents do to help our children and society as a whole? Here are some things to seriously consider that will not only help to raise your child’s self-esteem but your own as well.

• To the best extent possible, provide a stable home with structure, love, and discipline.

• When you discipline, separate who your children are from what they do.

• Help our kids learn to be independent thinkers in a rational environment.

• Make sure they see consistency in your behavior.

• Don’t praise your child just to be “cool” or to be their “buddy”.

• Look for, and even create, opportunities to give them honest, genuine praise.

• Get involved with your children in activities that interest them.

• Help them find the lesson in failure, but never carry the failure forward. My dad always said, “Winners laugh and losers learn.”

• Proactively and politely assert your right to be happy and your right to legitimate wants and needs.

Give of yourself to your children. It’s the greatest gift you could ever offer and love them without conditions.

Larry J. Bradley is an author, speaker, personal and professional coach and consultant. He is a business turnaround specialist, certified Self-Talk trainer, NLP practitioner and coach, as well as a hypnosis and time-line therapy practitioner. His areas of expertise include parenting, personal success and management, persuasion, influence and sales. He can be reached at LarryBradley11@gmail.com or at 856-535-7500.

It got to be exhausting. I felt as a responsible parent I should provide my son with answers, but some “why” questions are hard to answer if you are not a walking encyclopedia. It is tough on your ego not to be able answer a 4 year old. There were also the times when I did know the answers. I would launch into a lecture on the migrating patterns of the Canadian geese visiting our backyard. After about 30 seconds his eyes would glaze over and he would run to play on the swings. What was up with that?

Parents do not need to feel inadequate if they don’t have the answers or take the podium when they do have knowledge to share. Most experts agree that when children ask questions out of curiosity they are really saying, “That is so interesting, I would like to figure this out myself or with a little bit of help from an adult.” That is why it is more effective to say to a young child, “That is a great question. Why do you think the sky is blue?” “What an interesting question, can you think of some reasons why the rain makes mud?”

When we answer a “why” question with another “why” question we encourage children to think for themselves and explore their own ideas. Serious “why” questions merit discussion and preferably it should be a child directed dialogue. There is nothing a child loves more than having an adult who is genuinely interested in what they have to say. Kids want to come up with their own answers and it gives them something to mull over. It also helps them develop critical thinking skills. Children feel important when we ask them their opinion it builds their self esteem.

This technique of responding “why do you think?” to our children’s “why” questions, benefits us adults as well. It gives us an idea of what children are thinking about and reminds us to stop and appreciate our wonderful world through the eyes of kids. Children love to engage us in this way. It is a great way to bond with our children. Learning together in a respectful way is a great way to nurture your relationship with your child.

Children may also ask “why” as a way of voicing their concerns. Children don’t come out and directly tell you what is bothering them. Sometimes they do not have the words to describe their inner feelings. When they ask, “Why do I have to go to school?” They might not be trying to “get out of” what they are supposed to be doing. They may be letting you know that they are having a problem with their teacher, peers or their work.

When your child is using “why” to express his worries or fears, he/she is trying to engage you in a discourse. To help your child work through their emotions it can be effective to reflect your child’s feelings. You can say, “You sound upset about school” or “Something seems to be bothering you about school.” This helps open the channels of communication. A child will start to feel comfortable exploring their complex feelings. Reflecting a child’s feelings instead of jumping in and trying to fix the problem helps to keep the conversation flowing. This allows parents to understand a child’s perspective so they can give them the support that they need to manage their problem.

There is another reason why children ask “why.” They may use it as a way to fight against the limits that you set. “Why” questions can be used to defy you and sidetrack you from sticking to your guns. “Why can’t I get another lollipop?” “Why do you always make me wear a hat?” “Why won’t you let me get that video game?” These kinds of questions should send up a red flag.

Children enjoy a good debate and love to try to get you to change your mind. They have plenty of energy for this task. They will ask and ask as a way to confuse you. They hope that the endless questions will wear down all your resistance. They force you into a position where you feel you need to explain yourself and come up with arguments to support your rules. It is a technique that I think I have seen Bugs Bunny use.

In this situation it is effective to use both of the skills outlined above. You can reflect children’s feelings and gently and firmly turn their “Why” question back to them. You can say, “You seem sad about the one lollipop rule, why do you think we have that rule?” “It sounds like your annoyed with your hat, why do you think it is important for people to wear hats?” “You are wishing you can get that video game. Can you tell me why you can’t get it?”

This approach is a soft way of reminding your child that you understand their frustration but that you are confident and staunch in your ability to maintain your non-negotiable rules. You will not be drawn into a series of circular and moot arguments. It is ironic but experts have found that children feel more comfortable and secure when parents do not back down from the rules they set. Although they will fight long and hard children do want to lose these arguments. As soon as they see you mean business they will quickly leave you alone. It is a way for parent’s to respond without actually saying the hated “no”. The endless, never ending arguments will be short- circuited.

This technique also benefits children in other ways. It requires children to think about why rules are important and what the reasons are behind rules. It actually reinforces the limits parents have set, in their minds. They gain a perspective they otherwise would not have. It also forces the child to take our answers more seriously encourages them to become more cooperative.

Children’s can use “why” questions for many different purposes. They can use them to get answers about the world around them, to voice their fears and to gain the upper hand. It is important to recognize why your child is asking “why” so that you can respond appropriately. Reflecting your child’s feelings and and turning their “why” questions back to them is the best way to do that.

Guest post by Adina Soclof. For more great parenting tips like these, visit us at www.parentingsimply.com. We look forward to hearing from you.

While these worries are understandable, it’s important to keep in mind that dogs and children can be the best of friends! Here are a few tips to help everyone adjust as easily as possible.

BEFORE BIRTH

Acknowledge you dog’s curiosity. Pregnancy brings a change to your body chemistry, and your dog will sense that. Instead of pushing him away, allow your dog to inspect you as your body changes.

Incorporate new routines. The baby is going to change your current routine. Try to think of all the ways your daily schedule will change and incorporate as many changes now as possible. For example, if you normally walk the dog in the morning but know you will need to be attending to the baby once she comes, start having your partner walk the dog during that time.

Attend training classes. Once the baby comes, it will be more important than ever that your dog have proper manners and respond to your commands. Enrolling in a training class or two as soon as possible will give you a leg up.

Bring other infants into your home. Your dog is in for a surprise when all the smells and sounds of a new baby enter his life. If your friends or family members have infants, invite them over so your dog can start getting used to the idea of a baby in the house.

AFTER BIRTH

Bring a blanket home before the baby. Have a friend or family member bring a blanket home from the hospital that smells like your baby. Allow your dog to sniff the blanket so he gets used to the smell of his new family member.

Present the baby in a calming environment. Your dog is going to be so excited to see you when you get home from the hospital. That is not the time to introduce him to the new baby. Greet him first while your partner takes the baby inside. Once your dog is calm, then introduce them. And make sure you are also calm. Your dog will sense your emotions if you are nervous or overly excited during the meeting.

Have a present for your dog. The new baby is going to be getting a whole lot of attention – attention that used to be directed at your dog. A new toy or treat that will engage him and keep him entertained for long periods of time can help everyone stay calm and happy.

Continue new routines. You will never be able to plan 100% for how the baby will change your life, and adjustments will always need to be made. But try to continue as many of the routines you started before baby after baby arrives. Consistency will help your dog adjust as quickly as possible.

What other ways have you prepared a dog to meet a baby? Have you tried any of the above suggestions? How did they work?

Heather Reynolds is a pet lover and internet journalist at Trupanion, North America’s fastest growing pet insurance company. Trupanion offers a simple, customizable pet insurance policy with no payout limits and 90% coverage of veterinary bills. Enrolled pets receive lifetime coverage for diagnostic tests, surgeries, and medications if they get sick or are injured, with no incident, annual or lifetime limit.

No matter how old you get, no matter how clever or how self-sufficient and independent you become, you never stop wanting your Mother on a bad day.

It might be a stupid argument with the boyfriend (that will undoubtedly repair itself after half hour and sugary cup of tea) a long day at the office or simply a hormonal day, but when I feel down, it’s my Mothers I want.

Yes, I said ‘Mothers.’ Plural. I have three.

I wasn’t brought up on a lesbian commune, I wasn’t adopted or passed from foster home to foster home and I haven’t stolen anyone’s identity. But I do have three Mother figures in my life.

There’s my actual Mother, Helen, there’s my Nan, Teresa and my Auntie Angela. I was spoiled.

As a teenager, I had it pretty easy. I had my Mum who would love me unconditionally and put up with the teenage tantrums from hell. She sacrificed everything to ensure I was able to have the best education possible and put up with me at my worst. It was my Mum I’d go to first when I’d done something I was proud of or when I was crying, either over spilled milk or a broken heart. I always knew I could tell her anything and not be judged. I was lucky. I was able to confess the first time I’d spent the night with a guy… painfully embarrassing conversation, granted. But no judgment passed, just sound advice.

I lived with both my Mother and Nan from the age of 8 following the separation of my parents. Nan became a grandparent and a second parent all in one. Sharing the job of raising myself and my Brother (financially, practically and emotionally) with my Mother, she took a lot on. The thing about Nannas is that they know everything there is to know about parenting. They’ve been through it – in my Nan’s case, 4 times. This means they tend to worry less and are able to see any dispute from both the child and parent’s perspective. Nanna was my port of call when I needed a second opinion… or when I needed someone to persuade my Mum to let me do something. If I’m ever getting a little too big for my boots, Nan has no qualms telling me!

My Auntie Angela lived literally a one minute walk from us during my teens. After a recent divorce, she struggled to settle in living alone again. This created a mutually beneficial situation. She liked the company, and I liked the independence I got staying with Auntie Angela. And so, during my teens, I spent most nights there, getting up in the morning and going home to get ready for school. We got on as best friends. I was trusted with the house when she was away at weekends – a trust I might have abused one or two boozy occasions. A bunch of teenagers with a house and a load of booze has a tendency to get messy (sorry, Angela!). But it was Angela who held my hair back when I got drunk enough to feel sick and who helped me to explain it (and apologise) to my Mother. It was Auntie Angela who listened to me rant about how “my Mum just doesn’t get it,” on the days I wasn’t getting my own and who managed to make me and my Mum see reason on the days we weren’t seeing eye to eye.

So, as I was saying, I had three Mother figures. I was lucky. I can’t count the number of times people have questioned the fact I did not see my Dad much as I was growing up and asked “how did that affect you?” It’s almost as though people expect you to have become a self pitying alcoholic sitting in a corner with a bottle of vodka and crying over the fact that you lacked any male influence in your life. That certainly isn’t me.

I’m not saying that the traditional family unit isn’t a good thing. I’m sure that perfect two parent families are amazing. What I am saying is that, contrary to popular misconception, it isn’t the be all and end all.

All I really needed growing up was someone to look up to, someone to keep me in check, listen to me whinge, laugh with me, let me make my own mistakes and love me in spite of every last one of them. And I got three people who did just that.

Help your kids NOW, no more I wish I would have’s

It may seem inevitable to look back and regret what could have been as a parent. With hindsight
we see how our temper may have impeded our ability to take advantage of a teaching moment, or
how our impatience caused our child’ s self-esteem to suffer. The truth is, we are not doomed to
this dismal outlook of parenting regret. With a few techniques, that are all easily to implement-
-starting today!–you can begin to help your kids now & set aside for good the ‘ I wish I would
haves’ .

Be in the Moment

As a parent of small children, it’ s easy to be overwhelmed by our never-ending task list.
Laundry, groceries, meal time, errands, nap time and cleaning are always on the horizon. Even if
we’ re not currently doing these things, we’ re thinking about when we’ re going to get them done!
For this reason, when your children need you it’ s too easy to put them aside. We all too often
fall into the trap of multi-tasking, where nothing is getting done well. By being in the moment
and not worrying about what needs to be done or fretting about what we haven’ t done, we’ ll be
more alert to what’ s happening in the moment. For now, your child may want you on the floor
building legos or another time they’ ll simply want to talk. Be content with that and your child
will learn they are important to you.

Teach the Power of Choice

Give your child a choice whenever possible. Along with this, emphasize that with every choice
comes a consequence. Although they are always free to make a choice, they are not free to
choose the consequences that come with that choice. This can start at a very young age. If they
choose to not complete their Saturday chores, they are not free to play with friends. If they do
not like what you fixed for dinner, they can sit at the table quietly until they are dismissed. If
they choose to whine about it they can go to their room for the rest of the night. By clearly and
calmly stating the consequences of their choices, you will eliminate many power struggles in
your home.

Apologize

Even when we do our best to remember these simple ways to help our children, we will make
mistakes. When it happens, be sure to approach your child and say you are sorry. That temper
that escalated or words that escaped that shouldn’ t have will more easily be forgiven and
forgotten if you make an effort to acknowledge your mistake. Undoubtedly, this is a skill you
hope your children will learn. So, let them learn first-hand how it’ s done.

We all want the best for our children and what we give can be the best. It may take some effort
to polish our patience, say we’ re sorry or set aside what we’ re doing, but we will see benefits for
years to come. In no time at all, we will be the ones needing elder care. We don’ t want to spend
those years with regret. Do what it takes today to help your kids now.

Think about the word failure. Could you call someone a failure without being disrespectful? It starts
with the letter “F”, and we all know what getting an “F” means in the world. Yet, I know that failure is
critical to learning, and I want my own kids to learn how to fail with grace and resilience. There are even
famous quotes that say something to the effect of “You need to fail in order to succeed”. Given this
truth, I thought it was important to weigh in on the critical nature of failure for school age kids, and how
to go about dealing with it as it occurs in your household.

As an educator in middle school and high school, I have run into this paradox over and over, and it
usually shows up around 7th or 8th grade when kids start getting grades and taking tests. With the onset
of homework and projects that take more time management comes the parenting moment where one is
faced with the choice of whether or not to intervene when you see the train wreck coming.

Other parents, the school, your neighbor will offer advice. With a smile, they will tell you that it is time
to let go. After all, it is your child’s grade at stake, not your own, but as all parents know, there is some
voice inside that asks, “You want me to let my child fail?”, and it just doesn’t seem to fit.

Good parents do not let their children fail, right? Wrong. First of all, there is no such thing as a good
or bad parent. All parents love their children and want the best for them, but each parent has choices
to make and often it is one’s own past experience with failure that drives our decision making. In my
opinion, there are few key things that you need to ask or consider when confronted with this paradox.

• Do I want my child to live in my basement until they are thirty?
• Do I know how to support my child emotionally without taking over and fixing their problems?
• If my child fails, will I be embarrassed?
• Do I have better things to do than organize my child’s backpack or deliver the math homework to school that they forgot at home?
• Do I want my child to feel empowered to solve their own problems or reliant on me to deal with their issues? Answer this one carefully as many parents feel a great deal of satisfaction from being the person who swoops in and knows what to do.

Now check your answers:  “No to number one, “I don’t know or I hope so” to number two, “Yes” to
number three, “Yes” to number four, and probably “yes” and “yes” to the last one if one is being honest.
Taking them in order, here is what I would add:

A critical act of love as a parent comes in the form of letting your child fail. There is a high
likelihood they will end up living in your basement if you don’t; especially if they are male.
The act of supporting your kids emotionally without doing anything to fix their problems is hard,
but worth investing some time looking into. It gives parents something to do when they get
anxious. When kids come home crying after failing a test, being dumped, or being wronged by a
teacher, instead of trying to fix it, just make cookies. Everyone feels better after eating cookies,
and while baking does nothing to change one’s reality, it helps communicate that you are there
for them and you care. If cookies aren’t your thing, try saying, “That sounds really hard, is there
anything you need?”

In regards to your own embarrassment over your child’s failure, you will need to get over it.
Everyone makes mistakes, and nothing teaches a child to hate themselves more than a parent
who is embarrassed by them. Perfect parents do not exist, and nothing can bring a competent
adult to their knees faster than a 3 year old or teenager who has decided to take a stand.
Parents do have more important things to do with their time than fix their kid’s mistakes. Take
up a hobby or if one is intent on working, find a job that pays you money instead of working for
your child for free. Your kids may be disappointed that you didn’t bring their math homework
to school, in fact they may even blame your for their failure, but in the long run they will respect
your more for leaving it to them to figure that out, and you will be shocked how many kids will just solve their own issues when given the chance.

Last, but not least, the act of intervening so that your child doesn’t experience any pain feels
like an act of love, but to a teen it sends the implicit message that they are incapable. Trust me
on this one, I have sat with hundreds of kids who believe they are failures, and I have traced
the roots of that belief to an overbearing parent that takes over their life with good intentions.
Why do you think that rehabilitation centers for troubled teens center on hard work and
responsibility? The reason is that teens want to be independent. That is their primary job, to
learn to take care of themselves, so they can transition, go to college, move out and ultimately
face this same paradox with their own children.

Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I know that this paradox is one of the most difficult issues that parents of middle and high school kids face.

Good luck, and I would love to hear your feedback and thoughts.

Ryan Burke

http://ryanburkeeducation.blogspot.com/

Getting glasses can be tough on a child’s self- esteem, but as a parent, you have the power to head off problems from the start.

1. Keep your eyes open
Be aware of how well your child can see. As he or she begins to grow up, engage her in conversation about what she sees. Watch her behavior and characteristic habits – is she squinting at Sponge Bob? Does her hand keep brushing her face near her eyes? Habits such as these can indicate visual problems. The wise parent anticipates these problems, and if you’re noticing any squinting or headaches in your child, you should be thinking about an eye exam. It’s not really that tragic to wear glasses, especially when you realize how much more you can see when you wear them! Support and encourage them to see better vision as a benefit.

2. Choose frames enthusiastically
It you treat it as an adventure, your child’s first trip to the optician can help him come out of the shell he’s been in, the lonely isolation of poor vision. Do a little homework and take your child to an optical outlet that has many different choices, rather than endless walls of similar frames. Explore all styles and materials and find the most comfortable fit. Keep the conversation going: point out pictures of eyeglass wearers in magazines or on TV. Try to get your child to express an opinion about certain styles. Try to learn what styles are appealing to your child, so that he or she can find glasses that fit their personal style. This is a great self-esteem builder.

3. Be realistic about your child’s needs
Glasses enable a child to participate in sports they could not see well enough to play before, but they can also get in the way, fall off, or get broken in vigorous play. Think about getting a support strap that will keep the glasses on. Even better, think about getting contact lenses, the daily wear kind. Children at any age can wear contacts, and they offer a real competitive advantage in competitive sports.

4. Teach good visual habits
Get your child out doors to play on a regular basis. Don’t let him sit in from of the TV or computer all day. Staring at one place for a long time is unnatural – looking off into the distance, catching a ball or riding a bike are all eye-healthy activities.

5. Let the good times roll
Don’t buy a child an expensive pair of glasses – they’ll break or be outgrown in no time. Find a frame you like and get an extra one or two, so the child won’t feel too nervous about losing or breaking them. You can find an eyeglass frame provider online with much lower prices than retail, choose your frame, provide your doctor’s prescription, and receive glasses in the mail. The peace of mind for you and your child will be a definite bonus.

Sara Roberts is a content contributor for Just Eyewear, a prescription glasses and prescription sunglasses retailer.

The importance of food to families

We’ve all heard the sad news that Americans are not eating family dinners together. Some families are busy with organized activities around mealtime.
Some parents work late. Some families don’t place enough importance on sitting down together, and instead allow family members to eat whenever they are hungry.

Research shows that all family members benefit from eating together. There are several reasons this is true.

Teachable Moments

Mealtime is the perfect time to teach your children technical skills and manners. Plus, at the table, you can make sure that your values are made apparent to them by discussing what is important to you.

During mealtime, you can make sure that your children say please and thank you. You can also make sure they learn valuable manners such as complimenting the cook and how to avoid unpleasant topics at the table (such as bathroom matters). And, you can emphasize hygiene by insisting they wash hands and keep their faces clean during the meal.

You can bring up topics that connect to your most treasured values, like how someone helped another family member or neighbor; your admiration for people who help others through charity, or for people who have accomplished their goals.

As for technical skills, at mealtime you will have the opportunity to teach children how to carry dishes without breakage, or how to pour; for older children, you might teach cooking skills or how to wash dishes.

Better Nutrition

When families eat together, they can be united in their effort to eat better. Parents can keep better track of what their child is eating or drinking. They can discuss nutrition with their children. Parents will most likely want to set a good example for the children, so their nutrition can benefit too.

A Better Vocabulary

Children who eat with their parents, rather than alone or just among kids, hear a more varied vocabulary. No need to quiz your children on big words; exposure alone will help them begin to expand their vocabulary.

Emotional Connection

Gathered around the table, family members will talk about what is going on in their lives. That’s because they feel relaxed and they have the time and opportunity to do so. You might learn about your child’s concerns about classmates, or hear more in-depth about a school project.

Children love to hear parents reminisce about when they, the children, were younger. Mealtime gives you the opportunity to do this. Children also like to hear reminisces about other family members. You might share stories about grandparents that you’ve never found time to tell in another context.

Just being together has its own power and magic. Give your family the chance to just be, with no rushing to the next activity. The feeling of being more settled and bonded comes naturally from the experience.

Simon Barnett enjoys food, cooking and being outdoors. He encourages his children to take a keen interest in food and enjoys sharing meals in the garden. He also writes about picnic benches and other garden tables than can create a comfortable outdoor eating environment.

Tracy O’Connor balances being a freelance writer with raising five boys, ages 3-15. She also serves as community manager for Potty Training Power where parents can get personalized advice and support to help them through the potty training process. You can follow her on Twitter.

You probably spend quite a bit of time making sure that your toddler is growing psysically and intellectually. By making sure that your child eats nourishing food, gets lots of time to play and exercise and providing them with a stimulating environment, you are helping set a firm foundation for them to have healthy, succesful lives.

But what about emotional intelligence? Many parents are pessimistic about their ability to teach their child to be more emotionally intelligence, either because they feel they lack those traits themselvses or are simply overwhelmed and not sure how to begin. The good news, many of the things parents instinctively do for their children are also good for developing patience, frustration tolerance, tenacity and empathy.

1. Help your child put a name to their emotions. Being able to articulate what they are feeling and why goes a long way towards finding a solution.

Start early by teaching your infant or toddler the words for how they are feeling and a short explanation of why. “You are so happy! Are you happy because it’s fun to play outside?” or “You are angry. It makes you angry when I say no, don’t play with the sink.”

Play with making faces in the mirror and talking about what makes you happy, sad, frightened, angry, frustrated and so on. When you are reading, point out the characters expressions and have your child tell you how they think they feel and why.

2. Encourage your child to be persistant. Many parents are reluctant to make their child keep trying for fear of pushing them too hard, however, it’s also important for children to know that the key to achiement is to keep your focus and try even when things are hard.

For toddlers, that might mean prodding them to try building that block tower one more time or having them try one more time to zipper their pants. Show them how to take a deep breath and let out their frustrated feelings so that they can give it another try with a clear mind.

3. Show them that failure is not an ending point. Failure is not an option in life, it’s mandatory! Help your child see that failure is just another part of the learning process and that it can be embraced as an opportunity to learn something new.

If your child makes a mistake or isn’t able to do something they want to do, help them to see the positive aspects. Let them know that their effort is the real accomplishment.

4. Nuture their empathy. Children and adults who are empathetic are generally better able to work with others and have a more positive attitude about their own lives.

Talk to your child about how others might be feeling and find ways to relate with instances from their own lives. Very small children won’t understand that other people do not have the same perspective and feelings as they do, but in time they will be able to see things from other’s points of view.

5. Lead by example. This is the most difficult and most important thing a parent can do to help their child develop emotional intelligence. Your child is learning from everything you do. If you react by becoming flustered and irratible when you are stressed, your child will pick up on that. If you think failure is the end of the world, your child will believe that, too. If you are calm, introspective, empathetic and persistant, chances are good that your child will learn to be the same way.

Unlike many modern Western physicians, Mate emphasizes the connection between the mind and the body. Backed by a growing body of research, Mate has hypothesized in a previous book, When the Body Says No, that stress resulting from repressed emotions, especially anger, makes the body more vulnerable to diseases like cancer and multiple sclerosis. In his two books intended for parents, Mate continues in this holistic vein, paying special attention to the child-parent connection in warding off disorders like ADD.

In Hold on to Your Kids, Mate argues that a developing child in a modern, industrialized country, who spends several hours a day with peers, is being influenced to an enormous degree by others who are also in a similar stage of development. The strength of this influence grows from a child’s innate need for attachment. When a parent does not provide this sense of attachment, a child will turn to friends to fulfill this need. The problem with children seeking attachment from peers is that, unlike a parent’s unconditional love, peer attachment is particularly contingent. Acceptance is granted only if the child assimilates to the group’s behavior. A child who is dependent on peers for emotional support will grow to be self-doubting, immature, timid, and will thus be ill-adapted to expressing healthy emotions and asserting boundaries. Co-written by clinical developmental psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld, the book concludes that a parent focusing on a strong parent-child bond is vastly more critical to a healthy child’s development than focusing on a child’s specific behavioral problems.

In Scattered Minds, Mate explores ADD research and takes the alternative view that the disorder is more strongly developmental than it is genetic. He also contends that while pharmaceutical drugs like Ritalin can certainly be effective, in the end, they only serve to alleviate symptoms and do nothing to address the disorder’s underlying cause. Just as in “Hold on to Your Kids,” Mate argues that a child’s environment plays a significant role in her development later on in life. On the book’s website, Mate summarizes his hypothesis:

“In attention deficit disorder the chief physiological problem appears to be located in the frontal lobe of the brain, in the area of the cortex (or gray matter) where attention is allocated and emotions and impulses are regulated. Just as the visual circuits need the stimulation of light, the circuits of attention and emotion control also need the appropriate input: a calm, non-stressed connection with a non-stressed and non-distracted primary maternal caregiver. Stresses on the mothering adult-or disruption of contact with her, as in adoption-predispose children to ADD because they directly affect the developing electrical circuits of the infant’s brain. The very chemistry of the infant’s brain is affected.

Although there is in ADD an inherited predisposition, a heightened sensitivity, the condition itself is rooted in social factors that have placed nearly intolerable burdens on the parenting environment. It is not bad or unloving parenting that is the problem, but stressed parenting. The erosion of community, the breakdown of the extended family, the pressures on marriage relationships, the harried lives of nuclear families still intact and the growing sense of insecurity even in the midst of relative wealth have all combined to create an emotional milieu in which calm, attuned parenting is becoming alarmingly difficult. The human brain being a social product, so is attention deficit disorder.”

While many in the medical community have criticized Mate’s work, his parenting books give mothers and fathers living in our modern, constantly stressed world, very specific advice that will be sure to resonate with those who feel that their connections among their children are less than ideal. For more information, check out this recent interview with Mate on Amy Goodman’s show, “Democracy Now!”.

Bio: Hajera Blagg is a freelance writer based in Houston, Texas. She often contributes content to OnlineUniversities.

Teaching children with Down syndrome can be very challenging and it can often be difficult for parents to decide what is best for their child. Many times the public school system can’t provide the special needs of a child with this condition. There may be speech issues that pose a problem or a variety of medical problems that interfere with them going to school so, many parents decide to teach their child at home.

When teaching children with Down syndrome at home there are certain strategies that need to be put into place to help encourage the learning process. For example, you’ll need to use a variety of different methods when teaching until you learn what gets their attention the most. The reinforcement of skills already learned is necessary as well.

When teaching children with Down syndrome it’s important to have high expectations. You need to be enthusiastic and excited for them. This will help to encourage them and give them the confidence they need to learn. Continue to encourage them to do their best and push to achieve all they can while taking into consideration their special needs and their individual abilities.

If your child is easily distracted, take steps to make sure there’s not anything in the immediate area that will distract them from learning. Set aside a specific time for learning and stick to your schedule. This is very important when teaching children with Down syndrome because they need this stability.

When you give your child instructions, ask them to repeat it back to you to make sure they understand. This will also reinforce the learning process. Be patient and give your child some time to respond. It may take them longer than you think necessary but they can’t be rushed. Being impatient will cause them to get frustrated and hinder the learning experience.

If your child makes a mistake and answers a question wrong, simply ask them to try again. If you say they’re wrong this could have a negative effect when asking them to try again keeps the sessions upbeat and positive. You can also provide the correct answer and ask them to repeat it.

Be sure and review what your child has learned frequently to keep things fresh in their mind. Don’t over stimulate your child by trying to introduce too many things at once. Be persistent but flexible and take advantage of the computer every chance you get. Teaching children with Down syndrome can be challenging but it’s not impossible and the information found here can help you succeed.

More Help for Teaching Children with Down Syndrome

Fine Motor Skills for Children With Down Syndrome: A Guide for Parents And Professionals (Topics in Down Syndrome)

Teaching Math to People With Down Syndrome and Other Hands-On Learners: Basic Survival Skills (Topics in Down Syndrome) Book 1 (Bk.1)

Teaching Children with Down Syndrome about Their Bodies, Boundaries, and Sexuality (Topics in Down Syndrome)

Have you even heard of the term “middle child syndrome”? It’s a term that suggests the middle child in the family is different from the rest of the children and that in a sense, they’re a problem child. The middle child is different from the others but then, aren’t all children different in some way? What makes the middle child stand out more is the fact that they are no longer the baby like they were before the new addition to the family arrived.

This means that the new baby gets all of the attention that the middle child used to get and this often causes behavior problems. However, this is nothing out of the ordinary. In most cases, they will pick on the baby to make him or her cry to try and get attention. Sometimes, they may seek attention by taking items that belong to the older child they know they shouldn’t touch. These are a few of the things that earn them the title of problem child but this title is not always appropriate.

This type of behavior is natural. After all, baby is getting all of the attention they use to get and they miss it. On top of that, older brother or sister gets to have all kinds of extra privileges and do things that they want to do but they’re not old enough yet. It’s only natural they would be a little resentful of the others and as a result, they do things that get them in trouble.

Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to make the transition for the middle child easier. First of all, be compassionate and understanding. Consider how you would feel if you were in the same position and this will help you understand how they feel and why they do the things they do.

Make sure you spend time with your middle child and make plans to do something special with just them. This will let them know that they are still special and loved as much as the other two children. It’s also important to listen to what they have to say and learn what interest them. Never compare your children to each other because this will certainly cause problems.

Let the middle child decide what’s for dinner once in awhile or pick the movie for family time. This will help to make them feel more important which in turn will help reduce their need to get attention by causing problems. When you show each of your children how much you love them and make an effort to spend time with each of them equally, middle child syndrome doesn’t have to be a problem.

No parent wants to imagine that the precious kindergartner you drop off at school in the morning will be using every opportunity during the day to make another or several other classmates’ lives sheer misery in the classroom, on the playground, and even in the bathroom. Such is the nature of the Kindergarten bully. Why a child becomes a bully, how he or she can be identified at school, the serious effects such behavior can have on those victimized, and how to prevent bullying at such a young age are all important issues to consider, especially when you realize that as many as 18% of kindergartners are regularly bullied at school.

Kindergarten bullying comes in three forms: verbal, physical, and exclusionary. Left unchecked, it will increase to peak forces by junior high school, where peer relationships, positive or negative, are most powerful. While there are many factors that influence a child’s tendency to become a bully, most of them seem to come from the home environment and behaviors there. Since children as young as 2 years old have been observed practicing bullying to get a toy or position they want, it is imperative that parents do not tolerate aggressive or threatening physical behavior, even at this young age.

Other family risk factors include lack of parental involvement or warmth, lack of supervision, parents or older siblings who model bullying, harsh physical discipline, and being a victim of bullying at home. Having friends who exhibit bullying behavior and value violent or aggressive actions is also a contributing factor. Additionally, the potential negative influence of TV, movies, and video games cannot be overstated. Finally, the elementary school itself, including kindergarten that ignores or minimizes such behaviors between young children is, in fact, endorsing those very negative interactions.

The typical signs of bullying in kindergarten include physical aggressiveness such as pushing, tripping, slapping, hitting, kicking, stepping on feet, pinching, and even choking. Social bullying often involves name calling, hate speech, hurtful teasing, threatening, and saying nasty things about the targeted child. Emotional bullying is more apt to be exclusionary. “You can’t be my friend” or “No one wants to play with you” are systematically aimed at the bully’s target. The results from any of these forms of bullying have both serious short-term and long-term effects.

The childhood victim of bullying suffers on several levels. The kindergartner may be physically hurt by the aggressive, even dangerous actions of a bigger, stronger child. The usual response is increased timidity and isolation that often develops into a dislike or fear of school, resulting in increased absenteeism. Worse yet, the defensive responses of the child such as crying or running away serve to make him or her, an easily recognizable target for future attacks and increased bullying.

Over the long-term, teens and adults who were bullied as young children often struggle with low self-esteem issues. They may even feel that they deserve being mistreated by others. A feeling of powerlessness may cause them to run away physically or emotionally to drugs and alcohol. Depression and chronic migraines or non-migraine headaches are more frequent within this group as well.

Both parents and the schools can take an active role in preventing kindergarten bullying. Parents need to realize that their children may be at fault, and telltale signs such as disrespectful behavior at home, arrogance and sarcasm, bossiness, taking frustrations out on other younger siblings, and talking unkindly about classmates are all warning flags. Any child who behaves in these ways at home is probably doing similar bullying actions in other places including the classroom and playground. Kind but forceful and consistent intervention is absolutely necessary. Investigate, judge the situation, and discipline as necessary each and every time until the behaviors are modified. Obviously, building a healthy relationship with your child and discussing bullying and respectful relationships is crucial as well. The bottom line is that young children model what they see, especially from authority figures such as parents and teachers.

For teachers of kindergartners, studies show that bullying can be reduced as much as 50% by introducing curriculum that deals with the subject, setting clear school rules, and enforcing them. Positive affirmation for appropriate behavior is important because children at this age really care about teacher-approval. Watch closely for possible bullies and avoid showing any favoritism. Stories that illustrate respectful behavior allow for discussion and play-acting as well. Kindergarten bullying is a serious issue that needs to be addressed both at school and at home for proper resolution.

Jennifer Mizuhara is a writer for Findourschool.com.

More resources to help with bullying

The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying: A Complete Guide for Teachers & Parents

Hot Issues, Cool Choices: Facing Bullies, Peer Pressure, Popularity, and Put-downs

The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to HighSchool–How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle (Updated Edition)

There is nothing better than family game night to get together with the children.  The Blokus Game is perfect for family night as it offers not only fun but a great learning experience for children, too. This is a board game that was awarded by Mensa for one of the best learning games available for children age five and up including adults.

Benefits to Including Blokus Game in your family night fun:

• Builds special relations for children
• Great strategy game that the entire family loves
• Gets the brain working in a positive manner
• Has received the most awards for a board game since 2000
• Great for children of all ages five and up
• Bright and simple colors with easy game play

How to Play Blokus

Blokus is a brightly colored game that offers learning along with family fun. Each player needs to get all of their pieces onto the board in order to be declared the winner. The player can only place their piece on the board touching their own color and their piece cannot touch another players tiles. Players can use defensive moves to keep the other players from having a spot to put their pieces on the board. The first person who runs out of tiles is the winner.

How Many Players Can Compete at One Time?

This is a game that can be played with up to four players and when all four are playing, the games can end very quickly. The makers also created other ways to play the game to make it even more fun and interesting. Large families can team up into two or three teams and can work together to win.

Any parents who want to add learning to their family fun night need to get this game.  Blokus Classics Game is guaranteed to bring hours and hours of fun to any game night.

Here are more variations of the Blokus Game your family might enjoy:

Blokus Duo Game

Blokus Trigon Game

Travel Blokus

Sequence for Kids is an easy to play game that was created for children age three and up. It is a combination card and board game where the object is to get four of your cards in a row to win. They can use different cards to have free placement or to remove another player’s card from the board.

Learning Benefits of Sequence

• Colors
• Animals
• Spatial relations
• Memory Retention
• Sounds
• Strategy

How Old is Too Old?

The great aspect of Sequence is that it does not have to be played by children who are very young. While the game directions may make it boring for the older children, they can still have fun playing variations of the game to make it more of a challenge. They can play matching games as well as putting the sound cards together with the animal cards. The imagination is the only barrier to all of the games that can be played and created by simply using the cards and board. The strategy games can be played by those that are older as well and even the youngest can enjoy moving their opponent’s cards off the board and creating their own chances to win.

Since Sequence can be played by just about any age group, it is a perfect game for the whole family. While the parents may not get the same enjoyment out of it that the little ones get, they still love watching the kids giggle and smile as they get closer to winning and taking mom or dad’s cards off the board. The game board is brightly colored and the cards feature illustrations that realistically depict the animals, sounds and colors that they are supposed to convey.

Now of course, adults may want to play their own Sequence game, right along with the kids. Here are the adult favorites:

Deluxe Sequence

Jax Jumbo Sequence Tube Game

Jumbo Sequence Box Edition

Educational Soft Toys are some of the most popular toys for small children around today. Did you buy any for your little one? There are many reasons why considering educational soft toys are a good idea. It all starts with seeing the benefits to these types of toys.

Here are some benefits to educational soft toys:

• They are safe even for younger children
• They feel good to the touch
• They can help the child feel secure
• They come in bright, bold, primary colors

Why Buy Educational Soft Toys?

Bringing a new baby into the world is one of the most exciting things you can experience. However, a new baby can’t really do very much on his own. You want to be a good parent and provide your new baby with the stimulation that he or she needs to grow healthy and content. While there are many good toys on the market to do this, some of them are just not appropriate for a small child.

When the baby cannot lift his head on his own, lift his hand to touch his face or sit up, he will be unable to focus on small objects. Large, bright and soft educational toys are a good alternative at this stage. As your infant continues to grow and develop over the first year of life, he will need different types of toys to help stimulate and encourage skill development.

Educational soft toys provide this much needed skill development for a child of this age. They can help to teach things like sound vision, auditory and even physical sensations.

How Do They Make Young Children Feel?

Educational soft toys work well because they make young children feel good.

The baby’s first skill is usually sight. Since these toys help with that skill, it makes the child feel food.

Soft, plush toys are also like a security for the infant and young child as well.

Toys with strong colors will appeal to the senses and help your child grow and advance while also helping them feel happy and secure.

Melissa & Doug Deluxe Picnic Basket Fill & Spill Soft Baby Toy	Earlyears Lil’ Shopper Play Set	Manhattan Toy Snuggle Pod
Manhattan Toy Baby Stella Doll	Garden Fresh Fruits & Veggies, Soft “peel-able” fruits and veggies	Bamboo Zoo Soft Shaker Toy

As parents, we are always looking for ways to improve/enhance our children’s development, while still encouraging them to have fun. Educational learning toys bring great value to a child’s life. I checked out some of the best educational toys out there and found something for everyone: baby, toddlers, and young kids.

Baby Educational Toys

Baby Educational Toys are valuable to your child because they are proven to be one of the earliest exposures to learning. Instead of having your child amused by nothing or just the TV – why not educational toys? A multitude of options are available when it comes these educational toys. Some delight your child with a mixture of sounds and lights and help your baby recognize animals or simple letters. Baby educational toys provide your child with the entertainment and education they need to start off on the right foot to life.

LeapFrog Learn & Groove™ Musical Table Provide a world of learning and musical fun for your child with the LeapFrog Learn & Groove Musical Table. Designed for children ages six months to three years, this innovative toy is chock full of learning and musical activities designed to provide visual and auditory stimulation and motor skill development, as well as opportunities to learn about colors, the alphabet, and opposites for older children — and much more.

Playskool Step Start Walk ‘n Ride It’s 2 toys in 1! As a sturdy, stable walker, the Step Start walk ‘n Ride toy helps babies learn to stand, take their first steps, and walk. As the grow older, it easily converts to a first ride-on toy! It has a locking mechanism that only parents can activate, so children can’t change modes by themselves. Kids can explore the hands-on activities in both the walker and ride-on modes to see fascinating sights, hear silly sounds and touch interesting textures.

Manhattan Toy Put and Peek Birdhouse Four colorful rattling birds all have different textures, and the easy-open roof and door are perfect for tiny hands. Classic “fill-and-pour” play encourages development of motor skills and cause-effect understanding.

Busy Zoo Activity Center The activities are simple enough for one-year-olds to understand and large enough for them to manipulate with ease. On top, they can move animals along tracks or twirl wooden shapes along looping wire. Choices around the four sides include rotating picture blocks until they form a picture of a variety of animals; turning any one of interconnecting gears to make them all spin; opening and closing a door and window.

Toddler Educational Toys

Toddler Educational Toys, are simply the best play things for the children to learn with, as children are growing up we need to be able to distinguish the various types of toys to give during their playtime each toy is designed for a different personality. We should be able to distinguish our children’s interest before purchasing any toys for examples we have artistic, athletic,  geographical and science kits. We need to look for toys that will both teach and improve the learning interest of the child. Toys improve the learning pleasure of a child which will reflect throughout their lives.

Melissa & Doug Geometric Stacker Keep children busy stacking all different shapes, colors and sizes. This fun Geometric Stacker comes with 25 durable pieces to match and stack on a solid base. Perfect for building shape, color and size differentiation skills. Pieces made of solid wood.	Haba Walker Wagon The walker wagon aids children in moving. The seat allows brother and sister to ride along. Beyond the seat there is sufficient place to store utensils. Sturdy construction, rubber tires on wooden rims.
Plan Toys City Series Parking Garage Plan Toys create to inspire children’s imagination as well as promote their physical and intellectual development. Plan Toys also proves that it is possible to maintain superior quality standards while steadfastly following a path of environmental and social responsibility. The set includes a figure, car, gas station and car washing machine.	Step 2 WaterWheel Activity Play Table The falling water action from this Waterwheel Play Table encourages creative exploration with cause and effect learning. This imaginative water play center encourages hours of outdoor fun. Pour water into the wide funnel, and activate the water wheel which then spills into the inner and outer harbors.

Young Kids Educational Toys

Young Children’s Educational Toys are a valuable instrument in helping children learn and succeed. From gross motor skills to learning how to manipulate an object, children are offered many opportunities to excel in their development. Educational toys have the ability to teach children without the child even realizing he/she is learning! Enjoying a toy and learning at the same time are invaluable. In today’s market there are toys that help children learn concepts from grasping a toy to even learning to read! Making learning fun is the fundamental concept behind these toys, and it’s a concept that truly works!

Guidecraft Wooden Sand Tray Little learners can create shapes, patterns and outlines using a smoothing tool, pattern rake or their fingers! Place colored paper under the glass to enhance drawings and color exploration! Great for ideal educational toy.	Bananagrams In this unique word game, players use tiles to create words crossword-style. The first player to use all their tiles is the winner. With multiple ways to play, this game is perfect for beginning spellers, as well as more advanced players. No pencil, paper, or board required.
Snap Circuits Jr. SC-100 Curious young minds can learn the basics of electronics as they build more than 100 exciting projects with this kit. Work on projects that make sound effects, engineer different types of alarms, build touch circuits and play games.	Melissa & Doug See & Spell Place the colorful wooden letters in their proper places to spell words on the cut out two-sided wooden boards. Includes 20 playful pictures with three and four letter words to keep learning fun.

No matter your child’s age, music plays a huge part in their life. From infancy, mothers sing and hum to their babies and then in grade school they learn the basics of reading music and may begin playing the flute-o-fone or similar instrument. When they reach Junior High and High School our children may join the marching band or choir.

As our children grow, they develop an interest in certain genres of music and may even prefer two or three genres to others. Our teen’s ears are usually plugged with earphones filling their minds with songs they’ve loaded onto their MP3 player, blocking out the rest of the world. Music never stops filling our minds and hearts and is a very important aspect of our lives.

No matter how young your child is, with the proper encouragement, he or she can learn how to play just about any instrument, as long as they are willing. As a matter of fact, learning an instrument or how to read music is usually much easier to grasp the younger you are. Most of us have watched and giggled at a six month old bouncing to the beat of your favorite rock and roll song or have laughed in delight at a two year old dancing and jumping around to music and some three year olds can even clap their hands in rhythm.

Children begin learning to play musical instruments as early as five years old in some cultures and societies. It’s been said that the earlier a person learns music or to play an instrument, the more successful they will be in life. Music teaches discipline and more disciplined people tend to manage their money better as well as being disciplined in other areas of life.

Music can also open many other doors for children that you may not realize. Scholarships are given to those with superior musical abilities. There are opportunities to make extra money by playing in a local band or by teaching others to play. The possibilities are endless.

Many people choose piano lessons when learning to play, especially in the early years. Piano is a beautiful, yet easy instrument to learn and teaches children as young as three good eye hand coordination. It also teaches children how to listen, how to practice to get better at something and how to be disciplined.

No matter what instrument is chosen, make music an integral part of your child’s life by starting early.

My middle son, Jacob, is very interested in gold, silver, and diamonds.  He is particularly keen on selling my diamond engagement ring and buying me a crystal replacement and himself a room full of toys!  As I tuck him into bed at night, he sometimes asks this playful question, “Mom, if someone would give you an entire house filled with diamonds and gold in exchange for me—would you sell me?”

“NEVER!” I state resolutely.  “I love you more than all the diamonds in the world!”  Then we laugh and exchange ‘I love you’s, ascertain that the nightlight is on, the fan is on its lowest speed, teeth have been brushed, and stuffed animals are all nearby.

We would never dream of trading our children for all the money in the world.  (Well, except on certain, very trying days!)  So, let’s think about this:  How far would you travel to save 80% on a new air conditioner and how long would that take?  Shouldn’t we budget at least that amount of time for giving individual attention to our kids… daily?

Making time for our children is the best way to educate them that they are at least as important as our housework, errands, and careers.

Physically or emotionally absent parents allow a void to be created in their children’s lives that they may attempt to fill by seeking out harmful types of activities.

Everyone knows that children require proper nutrition to have healthy bodies.  The absence of integral vitamins or minerals can wreak havoc on young, rapidly-developing body systems.  Emotional development works with the exact same principles.  Emotional nurturing and love are the nutrients that are critical to the formation of healthy mindsets, relationships, and self confidence.

When we speak lovingly to our children, they will quickly learn the language of love.

Each and every person has their own “language of love”, and it is imperative that we develop our parenting skills and tap into the type of love and communication that resonates best with our child’s personality.  A full description of the 5 languages of love is beyond the scope of this article, find more information in this bestseller:  The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman

Educating and encouraging your children to practice time management can be fun and practical. When you are able to help them better manage their time, it can be enormously helpful to you as well. Teaching your kids time management now will undoubtedly help them have a more productive life in the future.

Start out by getting the right tools for your kids. Get them a calendar, either a desk calendar or a wall calendar which fits well in their room. Attach a string with a pen or marker to use on the calendar. Help them mark off important events, such as project due dates, test dates, and parties.

Teach your kids to avoid procrastinating until the night before projects or tests to start working on them. Model advance preparation personally, and demonstrate how you get ready prior to approaching deadlines.  Help youngsters realize that starting ahead of time will help them to accomplish projects sooner, entail less stress, and will yield higher quality results

Create a routine for effective time management for kids. Set up a specific time and place for homework and recreation. Ensure that they complete their homework prior to playing games or watching television. Once homework has been completed, children can help with household chores and then relax. Generally kids have less energy as the evening progresses, so having them complete it earlier rather than later will be more effective.

Lead your kids by being a good example of effective time management.  As a parent, you cannot help them to practice time management if you are not using these skills personally.  Children learn far more by watching your behavior than listening to your lectures, so brush up on your own skills to help them learn better ways to manage their time.  You will reap many rewards:  more harmony, less rushing, eliminating last-minute stress, and greater efficiency in your entire household.

Teach your children to break large projects into several small steps.  Anyone can eat an elephant- if it has been sliced thinly enough!  Take a big project like a report, and divide it into 5 or 10 simple steps with your child.  This will turn the proverbial mountain back into a molehill!

Encourage your children to keep a time diary and measure how long common tasks take to accomplish.  Kids often underestimate the amount of time that has been spent on a fun activity and overestimate the time it takes to do a boring chore.  Logging time will give your children a realistic frame of reference to gauge the time needed for specific tasks.

Teach your children to get ready the night before – think of evenings as elastic and mornings as rigid time periods.

Use containers and organizing caddies to keep related supplies together.  Have a box for homework supplies, a cup for teeth-cleaning supplies, and a basket for hobby supplies.

Cook and bake together.  You will bond over delicious, fresh foods, and learn to use measuring spoons and cups.  A measuring cup is a great parable for our time; there is only a limited amount of it that can be fit into a specific space or time period!  More than one cup of flour in the 1-cup measuring cup will cause overflowing; more than X amount of activities in the day will cause stress and over-scheduling!

Provide rewards for small accomplishments to motivate your child to follow through on enhancing her organizational skills.  I bought myself a recliner after 25 consecutive days of waking up with the first ring of my alarm; take this concept to the things that are difficult for your child, and have her earn something she really wants and gain valuable skills simultaneously!

Help your children set goals so that they can learn to prioritize their usage of time, and learn to say “no” to things that will eat up their time without producing any benefits.

P.S.  Creating Hours contains hundreds of parent-tested tips and tricks to get more hours in the day!  Learn more here:  CreatingHours.com

I’m a stay-at-home mom of two rambunctious boys, aged 5 and 3. lately, I feel like all they do is fight, fight, fight! (“I want the blue car” – “Me, me” – you get the picture!) How can I make it stop?

Thanks, A Frazzled Mom

Dear Frazzled Mom,

You may find comfort in the knowledge that fighting between siblings ranks very high in most people’s parental pet peeves. It’s loud, it’s intense, and sometimes it seems it will never go away. Before we tackle the question of to do about kids’ fighting, it’s important to step back and consider the large picture of what it is we’d like to accomplish when we intervene. You may be groaning and rolling your eyes. “I just want it stopped!” But let’s take a closer look at some vital lessons we can impart to our children along the way.

You have identified conflicts between young children: “You stole my stickers!” “Stop looking at me!” and the like. These conflicts will evolve into more complex conflicts throughout every age of childhood and the teenage years. In its various forms, conflict is inevitable. So the bad news is, your children probably won’t grow out of this anytime soon

But don’t despair. Before we resign ourselves to constant bickering, let’s take a look at the necessity of these conflicts and the opportunities they offer us as parents.

The possibility of conflict between two parties is present and unavoidable in every form of human interaction. People have needs, and these needs may conflict with those of another person. We know all about conflicts between siblings, but it isn’t difficult to identify conflict at every level: between neighbors (“He keeps blocking my driveway!”), in the workplace (“I put in all this work and she takes the credit!”), and even on global levels (“They stole our land!”).

Now let’s revisit the issue of fighting between siblings. When we widen our lens to take in the larger picture, the bickering takes on a new importance – a new potential. Fighting between siblings becomes a unique opportunity for children to learn conflict resolution skills in a supportive atmosphere. We offer them a virtual social laboratory, enabling them to learn these skills at their own pace, with plenty of opportunities to practice! Here, they learn to navigate the complex maze of human relationships. Here is a safe environment where they can utilize their unique endowment of strengths to build rewarding relationships while ensuring each party’s satisfaction. We can guide them in learning to get their needs met without impinging on someone else’s and how to be assertive and proactive without resorting to aggression or submission.

So next time the inevitable, “He kicked me!” is heard in your home, view it as a unique teaching opportunity. And have no fear: if you botched it the first time, rest assured you’ll have many additional opportunities at your disposal!

Firstly, whenever possible, ignore bickering. The guiding principle here, and among many other areas of parenting, is to foster responsibility among your children. Try to let the kids resolve these mini-conflicts; intervening should be done minimally and as a last resort so as not leave the children feeling as if they can’t handle it alone.

Sometimes you’ll hear the arguing beginning to escalate, and your intervention may be helpful. Not to judge or serve as a referee, but rather to help dispel the tension and allow the children to actually hear each others’ needs. Think of your role as that of a translator: your job is to translate each child’s screaming, name-calling, and even physical aggression, into a language the other child can hear and accept, while preserving the intensity and feeling and the needs communicated by the first child.

When you hear: “You’re such a disgusting slob! I can’t stand living with you! I spend hours cleaning up and you’ve wrecked it gain- now I have nowhere to hang out with my friends!”

You as translator can interject: “Whoa! You’re really mad. You’ve worked so hard and it’s frustrating to see all that work go to waste. And it’ll be embarrassing for to bring friends here…” This allows the children to deal with actual feelings and needs, without getting stuck in blaming and name-calling.

Finally, if fighting gets to a point where parental intervention is inescapable, try to use it as an opportunity to impart a bite-sized lesson of the values in your home (while physically restraining, if necessary.) “Stop! I see two children about to really hurt each other! You must be really mad! But in our house, we use our mouth to show each other we’re angry… Ben- you go to your room. Amy- to yours. When you’ve calmed down enough to talk it out, come out and work it through!”

Sibling conflicts can be an opportunity to teach our children some of our deepest values about respect, relationships, and communication. Seize the opportunity to share these lessons, and with time, you’ll begin to see your children mirror these values in their own relationships.

Margo Sasson is a family therapist specializing in work with children and their families, as well as an instructor of undergraduate psychology. She is married and a mother of three children.

Putting Your SELF in the Development of Self-Esteem
By Dyan Eybergen, RN © 2009

Self-esteem is not something children are born with.

Its development begins during infancy and is primarily based on the interactions children have with their parents and that those interactions are positive in nature.

The development of children’s self-esteem unfolds with the perceptions of those closest to them and then expands, as they get older, to outside the nuclear family. Children will internalize the feelings and experiences they encounter through these relationships and incorporate them into a definition of who they are. When they experience affirmative relationships, children will build confidence in their own merit as individual people.

It is imperative then, that parents, being the first point of relationship contact for a child, set the groundwork for the development of a healthy self-esteem. Parents can facilitate this process by exhibiting 4 basic behaviours to their children on a consistent basis. These SELF parenting behaviours are as follows:

Support: Parents provide a safe haven for children where they come to express their dreams and aspirations, their fears and their failures and know that their parents will listen. It is a place of retreat when things go wrong. Children will know that their parents “place” offers a supportive framework that they can lean on, gather strength and be encouraged to carry on.

Empower: As children grow parents bestow onto them more and more autonomy and authorize a sense of independence. From learning to tie their own shoes to driving a car, parents instil confidence in their children to try new things and tackle chores and problems on their own. Parents recognize their children’s strengths and highlight them so children begin to use their strengths to make decisions and choose career paths that are right for them.

Love that is unconditional: Parents continue to demonstrate and communicate their adoration for their children, no matter what their children have done. Parents see their child’s misbehaviour as opportunities for their child to learn and grow. Parents help misbehaved children learn from their mistakes, guide them to make amends for their wrong doing and help them to choose appropriate behaviours the next time.

Faith in the child’s capabilities: Parents trust that their children will learn right from wrong. As their children grow, parents give them opportunities to exercise problem solving and negotiation skills. Parents set their children up for success based on individual character strengths and allow their children to make mistakes and learn from them. Parents communicate trust and belief in their children’s ability to succeed, right from learning to feed independently, to taking their first steps, to going off to University.

Through a consistent showing of the SELF parenting behaviours, children get positive reinforcement of specific self-esteem attributes. Children who receive support are Strengthened; those who are empowered, feel Encouraged; children who know unconditional love learn to Love themselves and when children know that their parents have faith in them, they are Fulfilled as a human beings.

Dyan Eybergen is the author of Out of the Mouths of Babes: Parenting from a Child’s Perspective. Dyan is a paediatric psychiatric nurse, has more than ten years experience working as a therapist and parent educator. Dyan and her family were guests on the cable television show “For Kids Sake”, along with parenting expert Barbara Coloroso. Eybergen resides in St. Albert, Alberta, with her husband and three sons.

I just read what Dyan wrote on this site, via the email- loved it – and I have a question and need help!

What should we do with our eleven-year-old son who is continuously being “snappy” and short tempered (yelling, being crabby) with his eight-year-old sister?  He complains that she is annoying; and while that might be the case in some instances, certainly not all – this has gone on for over a year (during which, Dad was serving in Iraq).  Dad is back now, and neither of us know what to do.

Our family went away for an overnight, and the 2 kids actually had FUN having a pillow fight in the hotel room!  This made me want to cry, as that is about the only time they weren’t squabbling in such a long time.

Judy, WI

The question is:  How to get my son to “love” (or at least, be nice to) his sister?

Answer by Dyan Eybergen, author of Out of the Mouths of Babes: Parenting from a Child’s Perspective. Dyan is a paediatric psychiatric nurse, has more than ten years experience working as a therapist and parent educator. Dyan and her family were guests on the cable television show “For Kids Sake”, along with parenting expert Barbara Coloroso. Eybergen resides in St. Albert, Alberta, with her husband and three sons.

Answer:

It’s inevitable that kids will fight. If we can try and think of every squabble as a great opportunity for teaching our children about negotiation and problem-solving skills (tactics they will need as adults) then we might have a better appreciation for helping them to deal with conflict. I know better said than done! Sometimes the fighting is just too much and when they are not being “nice” to one another, it’s hard not to get emotionally involved ourselves.

I offer some strategies you might want to employ to help with your children’s sibling disputes:

• Try and discern what is at the root of the problem: Is your son jealous of his younger sister? (Is she more athletic; does she get more “physical” attention because of an illness or a learning disorder; is she smarter; does she have more friends.) There could be any number of reasons why he might be envious of her. The key is to find out if he is and provide him opportunities where his strengths and differences shine and are not overshadowed by her talents. For instance, if he is a whiz at chess – find a chess club in your area. Try and involve them in individual activities that highlight their differences and varying interests and not boast about one more than the other (we don’t do this on purpose, but sometimes just talking about what so and so did that was so great and not mention the sibling, is interpreted by the sibling that he is less than/not as loved as much/that his parents favor his sister etc; etc.)

• He’s three years older, and that should come with some privileges: such as having a later bedtime, taking on more responsibilities (yes that is a privilege!), perhaps attending functions or groups where there is a minimum age requirement (11-13 year olds), watching movies or reading books that are ok for his age but not appropriate for hers; so that he feels a sense of some entitlement — not to lord over his sister, but to help him feel that he doesn’t always have to “be” and “play” with an eight year old. He’s coming into pre-adolescence and his hormones and thought processes are changing at a rapid rate (which also includes moodiness and intolerance). So when he has some time “away” that he can act and be 11 he may start to appreciate the time he does spend with his sister because he has had a reprieve somewhere in the middle of living with her.

• When you say she is annoying – how is she annoying? Is she going into his room uninvited? Taking his stuff? He should be allowed to have some possessions that he doesn’t have to share. As adults, we don’t always share with our neighbors or our own children either. So tell him to tag some items that are strictly his and she needs to learn to respect that they do not belong to her. And likewise of course. He shouldn’t be taking her stuff or going into her room without her permission either.

• Because of the age difference, especially with him at 11 and her 8 (it will level off again when their developmental needs are more aligned) try engaging them in activities together that will appeal to both ages.  It’s hard during this spread to find activities that interest them both and they can get along doing. You will probably find your son fluctuates between being a “teenager” who is only into music and skateboards and friends and then on the turn of a dime he is being carefree and having a pillow fight. Cards is usually one that holds an interest for all ages – teach them euchre, or cribbage that you can play as a family. Fuse ball or cranium; anything that will be fun for “all” ages and you and your husband do it with them. When you do things that appeal to both, the age and developmental gap will be less prominent during their interactions.

• Try and foster independence in your children and get them to work it out as much as possible where you don’t have to be involved. Teach them to negotiate and problem solve. For example: “The two of you need to work out a schedule for the TV and if you are not able to do that, I will have to intervene and you may not like what I come up with.” They may surprise you and come up with something brilliant and amicable. This also teaches them that they can’t rely on other people to always fix their problems or intervene on their behalf when they are confronted by conflict.

• Have consequences you can follow through on for when they are name calling or physically lashing out at one another. I like to use restitution. Whenever one of my boys emotionally or physically hurts another, I have them make amends by giving their brother a “good deed”. Sometimes they write letters of apology, or clean their brother’s room, or take on their brother’s chores for a day, or give their brother some worthy possession (that usually happens when there’s a need for a big apology). I don’t believe in just having them say “sorry”. They often just end up being words. But when they have to make amends and be thoughtful about it, that’s when you really see and hear the apology.

• Teach your children to verbalize how teasing and snappiness from one another makes them feel. Get your daughter to tell him how it hurts her feelings so he can understand and appreciate the impact of his actions (it is the development of empathy). Tell your son to describe how her being annoying bothers him. When we give our children a “feelings vocabulary” they are more able to factor in all sides of an argument by listening to how other people feel. Feeling words have dramatic meaning and help to trigger emotions where empathy resides.

• Don’t always assume it is your son being nasty for no reason. He just may be more vocal and loud in his response to your daughter instigating. Another words, he gets caught and she doesn’t. This may not be the case but bear with me… If you didn’t see the precipitating event, I wouldn’t rely on what either of them says about it. And not because I am suggesting they would lie, but the truth is in the eye of the beholder. People tell “their” truth based on their perception of what happened. And usually everyone has a different perception. Try and get them to voice their feelings about an incident as opposed to finding out what happened. You will never get the whole truth so be solution focused instead of re-hashing the problem. Re-hashing the problem doesn’t fix it – finding a solution to the problem will.

• Concentrate on when the kids are getting along and make sure you let them know how much you enjoy watching that. For instance “I really appreciated how well the two of you got along on that trip; it was an enjoyable family outing!” Be realistic though, you can’t expect them to get along all of the time and insisting that they do is too high a bar for them to reach.

• This started when dad was serving in Iraq – your son may have become a little “parentified” thinking he was the man of the house. He may have felt it was necessary to “keep his sister in line” so to speak; and being immature, he wouldn’t know the first thing about how to “raise” an eight year old except to boss her around.  He may have some unresolved fear issues about his dad being in Iraq and it manifested in his hostility toward his sister. He may still feel angry for dad leaving him for a period of time. You might want to explore these issues more. It sounds like he is only behaving this way to his sister and no one else. How is he toward you? Dad? Have there been problems with peers (fighting, bullying) or at school with teachers? If the anger is happening elsewhere you may want to explore some ways that he can work that out (perhaps counseling for him and dad).