Children and Charity

Involving Children in Philanthropy

Encouraging your child to take an interest in charity from an early age not only benefits which ever worthy cause grabs their attention, but can also play a massive role in boosting their own personal development.

You might think sparking your child’s interest in charity will be difficult; after all, many charities work to try and eradicate problems of an ‘adult’ nature that many think of as being beyond a child’s grasp.

Admittedly, the sense of empathy that leads most adults to make charitable donations depends on them being able to understand the context of other people’s suffering and imagine themselves in such a position. Children can find this difficult, given their limited frame of reference for comprehending the world around them.

However, I’ve always been inspired by children’s keenly developed sense of injustice. As annoying as it is to hear repeated moans of “but it’s not fair!” over trivial issues such as bed times, a child’s natural desire for justice can be used to divert attentions away from selfish concerns, towards the plight of the genuinely needy.

Normalise Giving

For us to become truly committed to anything it needs to become part of our everyday routine. Children are, naturally, more flexible in their routines than adults. Any parent can tell you how something can be a matter of life and death to a child one week, then completely forgotten about by the next. Having said this, the ideas we pick up as children have the potential to stay with us forever.

Therefore, it is important to try and make giving to charity feel like a normal thing. A great way of doing this is to encourage your child to give a portion of the regular allowance they earn from doing chores to a charity.

In any case, when giving your child an allowance, it can be a good idea to help them draft up a little budget to decide how much they want to spend on small treats and how much they want to save towards something big. You might try and get them to include a good cause in this budget.

This will help prepare them for when they have an adult’s income, not all of which is disposable. Budgeting in this way will also increase your child’s appreciation of money as, even if you aren’t making them work particularly hard for it, they will have to think more carefully about the conundrum attached to all spending, namely, ‘what is most worthy of my cash?’

Business people and economists would call this ‘opportunity cost’, meaning the cost of having to choose one thing over another. Co-creating a budget with your child helps them understand this issue and appreciate their money more. Therefore, giving money away not only becomes a regular part of their lives, they also understand better the value of what it means to give.

Celebrate Charity

You can go one step further than this by making charity a central part of the special occasions your child looks forward to, such as Christmas. It is very easy to work charity into your fun family traditions.

For example, in the run up to Christmas you could set up a routine of clearing the kid’s rooms, picking out old toys that they no longer need and donating them to charity. They’ll associate this with the magic of the season, and, if you remind them that, after all, they’re making room for new toys, they can still see the sacrifice involved as something exciting.

As a parent I’ve found this has a pleasing double effect. For one thing the kids come to understand that there are people out there having a tougher time of it and are pleased to help out truly needy kids. Secondly, as a side effect of this realisation they appreciate their own gifts all the more.

As children don’t really have the means to go out and buy gifts for other people and, because they tend to receive so many gifts themselves, it is natural enough that most kids think of Christmas as being all about them. Indeed, it is very hard to resist encouraging this by spoiling your kids and experiencing their innocent joy vicariously. Encouraging them to see the holiday in a bigger context helps them adjust to the idea they are apart of a world that extends beyond their own existence.

Empower Kids to Give

Of course, encouraging kids to do good deeds isn’t all that useful if they don’t understand why it is good. Children pick up their moral sensibility from their parents and, despite the fact that every young child’s favourite phrase is “why?”, they often do not question the ethical code they inherit.

Obviously, this is a good thing to a large extent. Helping a four year old through an existential crisis is a challenge for any parent! However, it is good for a child’s moral development not to simply see ‘good’ and ‘bad’ as arbitrary labels you, or another figure of authority have decided on.

Getting a child to choose which charity they’d like to contribute to is a good of way getting them to realize their own beliefs. Picking a charity will make a child think about what makes a cause worth contributing to, rather than simply chalking it down as a good deed without thinking about it.

Making a gift donation in a child’s name often falls flat as a gesture as, to be honest, most kids would prefer a toy, and, as they had no role in making the decision they don’t feel attached to the cause. However, you can buy gift cards which work like online vouchers and allow kids to donate to charities of their own choosing. Kids often thrive when they feel they have a sense of responsibility and will want to get involved with anything that makes them feel empowered.

Getting Involved in the Community

Charity events offer a good chance for kids to interact with their peers and get involved in the community whilst learning about collaborative efforts. Even something simple like a bake sale will cover these areas whilst being fun, engaging and involving responsibility.

Encourage your children to get involved in, or perhaps even introduce, charitable activities to the social clubs they attend, such as their softball team or dance class. If you to are involved in the club it can provide the kids with a great opportunity to take matters into their own hands. You can consult them on their own fund raising ideas and give them a large role in the organising of the events. This will allow children to take ownership of their actions.

This is important for children, as without this sense of ownership they will take less sense of fulfillment from their positive actions. It can also one of the factors behind children‘s misbehaviour. If children are always simply being told to do the right thing and exactly how to do it, the may have to resort to naughtiness simply for the feeling of having done something for themselves.

Preparing for the Future

In conclusion teaching kids about charity at an early age can help develop a sense of ethics, budgeting, independence, organisational skills and can even be a start to developing a great CV (many colleges look to see how involved candidates have been in extra curricular community services as part of their admissions processes). If it involves events such as sponsored runs charity can even improve your child’s fitness!

Given all these different areas that giving to charity touches on, it really is a great way to help your children become conscientious citizens who, hopefully, will grow up realizing there’s more to philanthropy than tax breaks.

Guest post by Steve Waller, helping people find care assistant jobs in the UK via his comprehensive search engine.

Kids Gardening Lessons

The warm weather is here, and the great outdoors has so many lessons for us to teach our children while we are out and about!

As I was planting the vegetable garden in our yard, the following thought came to me:

Weeds are easy.

There’s no need to till the ground, add special nutrients to the soil, put up gates to keep out the deer, or water the weeds. No, none of that is necessary at all. The weeds just grow on their own. What could be easier?

On the other hand, lots of effort is required to plant strong and healthy tomato plants. (As my broken nails and scrapes can attest to!) Since the soil in Baltimore is acidic, I added lime to the potting mix. Let’s not even talk about tilling hard soil filled with tree roots! Staking the plants, watering, fertilizing, keeping the hungry animals away… getting buckets filled with homegrown tomatoes takes quite a bit of effort.

And that’s exactly the point of this little article:

The negative stuff comes easily. Like fast growing weeds, it’s easy to complain, get angry, or worry incessantly.

The positive stuff takes effort. It doesn’t come naturally to swallow our anger and stay calm in the face of adversity. It takes quite a bit of effort to see the positive side of life and avoid complaining about the negatives.

And, as nature has shown us, weeds are easy.

When we lose ourselves in anger and complaints, we’re just letting weeds grow wild. When we make the effort to see our glasses as half-full and keep impulsive reactions of anger under wraps by maintaining a calm disposition, we are growing our personal self-development garden.

Next time your child throws a tantrum (or next time you do!), show her the weeds outside. It’s easy to lose control and kick and scream. Tending to strong plants, like displaying calm reactions, takes effort. This is the kind of effort that results in fulfilling relationships, many real friendships, and internal peace of mind.

Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Guest post by: Larry J. Bradley

Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Our children are experiencing pessimism, sadness, passivity, and obesity at unprecedented levels today. This is happening despite massive self-esteem campaigns and the natural optimism of children.

One of the world’s foremost experts on self-esteem, Dr. Nathaniel Brandon, believes that self-esteem has two basic components. The first is competence – the ability or skill to perform or basically get through the day. Most people either have skill or can acquire it fairly easily.

The second is a feeling of worthiness and deserving to be happy. This is where most people fall short. This feeling of self-worth – deserving to do, have, or become – is nurtured from a very early age and is enormously influenced by parents. This feeling is closely tied to using positive language too, because we begin to frame our child’s world at a very early age with our words and the images they evoke. Feelings of self-worth come from being taught, encouraged, and praised with respect to achieving and accomplishing. What most of us don’t realized however is that the achievements and accomplishments don’t have to be monumental to win your praise and approval.

As Dr. Brandon says, “Of all of the value judgments we made in our lives, there is none more important than the judgment we place on ourselves.” Our self-esteem is the reputation we have with ourselves, and it can only be acquired from within. This is not an instant verdict; it’s a feeling developed over time, a deep intuition about who we believe we are. Nor is self-esteem harmed or bolstered by a single event, choice, or act. Rather, it is developed over a long period, and through a series of choices and decisions. To put it simply, healthy self-esteem is not acquired as a result of anything external; it’s more of a spiritual accomplishment.

I am an adamant believer that people, including children, will not harm something or someone they value, including themselves. I also believe that, for the most part, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. If your child is a poor concept of self-worth, most likely one or both parents will be as well.

Self-esteem is critical because it will affect virtually everything about our children: whether they use and/or abuse drugs, alcohol, or tobacco; whom they choose to socialize with and how; their level of education; their fitness and health-related habits; how they look and present themselves to the world; how much money they will make; whether they will become self-employed or work for someone else; how long they will work and what they will do; whether they will marry and whom; whether they will have children and, if so, how they will raise them; where they will live; the car they drive; their level of stability and how they will cope with life; and this is just a partial list.

Developing good habits requires a purpose in life, and purpose requires a healthy self-esteem and a sense of confidence and worthiness.

One of your greatest tasks as a parent is to help your children find and develop this purpose in their lives. To accomplish this, you must be patient, nurturing, and open to change. Self-discovery is a process of living and learning over a lifetime. It’s a journey, not a destination. You, as a parent, are your child’s tour guide.

So what can we as parents do to help our children and society as a whole? Here are some things to seriously consider that will not only help to raise your child’s self-esteem but your own as well.

• To the best extent possible, provide a stable home with structure, love, and discipline.

• When you discipline, separate who your children are from what they do.

• Help our kids learn to be independent thinkers in a rational environment.

• Make sure they see consistency in your behavior.

• Don’t praise your child just to be “cool” or to be their “buddy”.

• Look for, and even create, opportunities to give them honest, genuine praise.

• Get involved with your children in activities that interest them.

• Help them find the lesson in failure, but never carry the failure forward. My dad always said, “Winners laugh and losers learn.”

• Proactively and politely assert your right to be happy and your right to legitimate wants and needs.

Give of yourself to your children. It’s the greatest gift you could ever offer and love them without conditions.

Larry J. Bradley is an author, speaker, personal and professional coach and consultant. He is a business turnaround specialist, certified Self-Talk trainer, NLP practitioner and coach, as well as a hypnosis and time-line therapy practitioner. His areas of expertise include parenting, personal success and management, persuasion, influence and sales. He can be reached at LarryBradley11@gmail.com or at 856-535-7500.

How To Stop Kids from Cursing

Guest post by: Daniela Baker

Children are bound to pick up bad habits from time to time. Unfortunately, some of those habits have worse consequences than others. One of these habits is cursing, and it can get your child in quite a bit of trouble when they are at school or in other public places (not to mention getting you stares from other parents!).

Here are some steps that you can take to help stop your kids from cursing. While it may take quite some time to break the habit, utilizing these steps will help you get on the way.

Talk about cursing

If your child starts cursing, take the time to talk to them about their new language choices. Explain to them what the swear words mean and how their language is very hurtful to others. Let them know that many people are very uncomfortable hearing these words and that it will change their perception of the child.

When talking with your child, acknowledge that there are times when it is difficult to express how you feel. Help them identify appropriate words they can use in these situations and other ways they can help calm down so they don’t need to result to cursing.

Establish rules and stick to them

Kids won’t know that swearing isn’t allowed unless you tell them. Establish a “no cursing” rule for the entire family—that includes the parents and other siblings, even if they are older and no longer live at house. If you do have older children who have moved out of your home, talk to them about the rule and ask that they follow that rule when they are around the other children to help set a good example.

When creating the rule, you must also establish consequences. Some families create a “cursing jar” where family members have to deposit a quarter each time they swear. Other parents have found success in banning their children from electronics, bikes or other toys. If you have older teens, you could take away driving, phone or credit card privileges if they are swearing excessively.

Change your behavior

Children listen and watch how their parents interact with others. If you tend to let swear words slip out when you are frustrated or angry, then they are likely to model this behavior. This means that you need to be careful with your word choice. You can’t expect your child not to use offensive language if you continue to use it.

Stop the conversation

After you have established the house rules and modified your behavior, be consistent with your disciplinary approach to continued swearing from your child. When they start to use curse words, remain calm, ignore the cursing (for now)and end the conversation. Tell them that you do not want to discuss the topic anymore.
Once both you and your child have calmed down, sit them down for a serious discussion. Remind them that the words they were using are no longer allowed to be used by the family. Tell them the consequence for their swearing and make it go into effect immediately so they can see the impact of their actions.

Be consistent

To truly break your child’s habit, you will need to be consistent with your discipline. You will need to uphold the no swearing rule each and every time you catch your child cursing. Be sure to issue the consequence each time. If you are inconsistent, you are not showing your child that you are serious about their behavior.

Daniela Baker is a social media advocate at the credit card blog, CreditDonkey. She is also a mother of 2 and knows how difficult it is to break your child’s habit.

SAHM: Take a Break!

Perhaps one of the most undervalued jobs in the world is that of a stay at home mum. They are never paid for the huge amount of work that they do at home and for the family. Plus they rarely get a day off, sick leave or any vacation. No wonder more and more SAHM are feeling the occupational hazards of  their work – lack of sleep, exhaustion, stress and burn out. Don’t you think it’s time to make changes to how SAHM are perceived and function?

Oh yes, being a mum and running the household has many rewards and fruits that are not quantifiable in any currency. But the fact remains that our mum’s body is as good as any individual working in an office setting.  And as much as that employee deserves to take rest breaks and limit their work hours, so should SAHM. Keep in mind that the mood at home is usually set by the mum’s current disposition. So when the SAHM is happy and pain free, the better everyone seem to be, you notice? So what can SAHM do to keep themselves from burning out altogether?

Keep a schedule and stick to it.

Set days to do laundry, the vacuuming or gardening. You don’t have to clean the house everyday and do every chore all at once. You are not in a game show where the mum who gets to do most chores wins. Stop and think what’s the priority for the day. Perhaps wipe off the mess the dog made on the floor last night? Or does the oven need proper cleaning? It is best to schedule this a few days ahead so you can spread your chores evenly according to difficulty or effort needed. 

This way you don’t get tired too much on one day. Try to do errands on one go say going to the grocer, dropping off mails at the post office, picking up the dry clean or returning books at the library. This saves time and gas. Approach tasks as you would if you were in an office setting. Your advantage is you don’t have any boss to tell you what to do. You are your own boss, so make use of this freedom wisely. And don’t be too hard on yourself.

Set an hour to do something for yourself a day.

As much as an employee takes time out apart from the usual lunch break to grab a smoke or chat with co-workers, so should you. Hit the gym after school drop off or walk the dog. You can opt to watch TV while eating your lunch. Use your break time and don’t cut it short. Grab a quick facial or call a friend for catch-up. Enjoy the social media and surf the net leisurely.  Set a timer if you need to. Your home will run just fine if you stop folding the laundry for a while. Take time to unwind after a few hours of work to avoid burning out.

Declare working hours.

Try to set a time in and time off. Declare that your “work” starts at 9am and ends after dinner. Do not do any chores after that time. Set helping the kids with schoolwork  just before you cook dinner so you won’t stress out after eating dinner. Instead, relax and rest for the meantime and use this time to spend with the family. Have a light chat with your children about their day. You will be amazed how  often your kids feel that you are too busy with chores to be with them. And kids resent that as much as daddy is always away at the office.

It is also best to communicate to your spouse and family members that they can help lighten up the load. Let them know you get exhausted picking up after their mess.  Remember that just because you stay at home does not mean you are solely responsible for keeping the home clean and tidy. Delegate work and teach the kids to clean up their own rooms as soon as they are of the right age. Soon you’ll have less on your plate and more importantly less body aches and pains to complain of.

Annie is a SAHM (not surprisingly) and an online mompreneuer. She blogs on eco-friendly shopping, frugal living and healthy lifestyle. Her favorite money saving tool is HomeLoanFinder, the largest variable home loans comparison tool in the world (mind that it is Australia-based). Follow Annie on Twitter as @ViralMomTweets

A Child’s Wisdom

Submitted by Raelynn Maloney, Ph.D.  Author of Waking Up: A Parent’s Guide to Mindful Awareness and Connection www.wakingupwithawareness.com Owner and Director of A Mindful Place 1950 West Littleton Boulevard, Suite 117. Littleton, Colorado 80120. 303-358.6561 www.amindfulplace.com

Every child is gifted with a simple form of logic and honesty that can reveal a timeless wisdom to all parents. However, when a child shares his/her wisdom in a way that feels like a personal attack, the common response from a parent is to become defensive and shut the conversation down.

Creating a relationship that allows a child to “hold a mirror up” to you as a parent can be challenging at first, but it will strengthen the parent-child connection in powerful ways. When we are willing to hear and see how our children are experiencing us  - that is, “when I am willing to see the way my child sees me” – we are gifted with information that will enable us to grow and deepen as parents. Your child’s wisdom will not benefit anyone if you perceive your child’s words as a personal attack. If you are able to listen objectively and embrace what is shared simply as information, everyone benefits.

Try to use and remember the mantra, “it’s not personal, it’s information” as you listen to your child.

In my counseling practice, there is a simple question that opens a flood gate of information about what children SEE when they look at us as parents. When I ask the question, “What are you learning from your parents?” I am given a glimpse into the relationship rules a child is learning through their parent-child relationship. The wisdom in their answers can cause many parents to struggle to accept the truth in the information. When they can accept it for what it is, however – simply as information – they soon realize that it is not a stamp on their performance as a parent, but the beginning of a new dialogue that will deepen and enhance the parent-child connection.

It is important to know how your child SEES and EXPERIENCES you as a parent.

Here are some of the not-so-perfect relationship rules children express when asked, “What are you learning from your parents?”:

I’m learning to raise my voice to get people to listen to me.

I’m learning to hurry because we are always late.

I’m learning to focus on what is “wrong” with people instead of what is “right” about them.

I’m learning to say sorry and then quickly give a reason for what I did wrong.

I’m learning that it’s okay to focus on what the other person did wrong instead of what I did wrong.

I’m learning to use bad words when I’m irritated.

I’m learning to shake my fist at someone if they upset me.

I’m learning to use threats.

I’m learning to talk and text while driving.

I’m learning to ignore someone when you don’t like what they say.

I hear an equal number of positive relationship rules and these are often much easier to take in as parents (for example, I’m learning to that families love eachother even when they are angry). Kids hold mirrors up to us all the time. Though we may not take every word as something we need to change, it is important to pay attention and find the wisdom in what they are saying.

Take time in the next 24 hours to listen and to see what your child is teaching you through that mirror! Make a conscious decision about whether or not this is how you want to continue to have your child SEE you. If not, ask yourself, “what is one thing I would like to consciously focus on improving when I am with my child?”

 

 

 

Improving Relationships with Self-Talk

I was in the process of writing, rewriting, and editing my article about using self-talk rather than nagging or complaining to improve our relationships when I came across an excellent story.

This article is located on the Blog of Dr. William Glasser, author of one of my favorite books: Choice Theory.

Read Mary Amanda’s excellent article about using self-talk to improve relationships here: http://freedomthroughchoices.blogspot.com/2011/04/using-self-talk-to-improve-important.html It’s a long yet easy read about a simple story that probably faces all of us virtually every single day!

Then, post your questions or comments right here, so that we can help each other to make decisions that aid us in building solid and healthy relationships.

To our children’s success,

Ellen

“Don’t Write Off My Child!”

Guest post by Cornelia Gibson of Surviving Broken Promises:

When my son was in the 7th grade, I was told in May of that year that his teacher wanted to hold him back due to low test scores, lack of interest, and lack of effort. Although I immediately disagreed with the later two, I suggested having him tested for a learning disability. I was told that there was no way in which to get him tested before the end of the school year. Then I suggested summer school in which I was told that would be double jeopardy. Huh, I questioned. It was explained that they do not do both. They don’t hold a child back and send him to summer school too. This did not make sense to me. If a child is in jeopardy of failing I believe that child should have all available resources afforded to him but apparently I was alone on this issue and in my thinking. I refused to sign the form allowing them to hold him back.

I didn’t know what to do but what I did was two things. I immediately filed an appeal with the school district. Secondly, I remembered that I had a recent connection with someone who worked for the school district and in counseling testing department at that. I called this person and asked for a favor in which it was granted. My son had completed all testing within three weeks. As it turned out he did in fact have a learning disability. While attending the next meeting with two of his teachers, the principal, and a learning resource specialist, the principal announced that he would not be held back due to the appeal that I filed.

One teacher was visibly upset by this news and questioned why I was able to do this. Because I’m his mother and his advocate that’s why. I will never forget her response in which she said, “Allowing him to pass is a big mistake. We will all be right back here next year this time and he will never pass the state exit exams.” Then she went on to say that she was refusing to sign any forms in which stated that she was in agreement with this new decision.

I am happy to report that although my son was eligible for special resources, he only utilized them for two years. All he needed was a different style of teaching to match his different style of learning. I understand that teachers cannot cater to each and every student’s learning style due to the enormous class sizes. I also believe that as parents we need to speak up for our children and advocate on their behalf. Most students want to succeed and will believe in themselves more when they see others believing in them. Parents should not be afraid to stand up for their children in any circumstance.

Last but not least, my son made the honor roll almost every semester beginning with 8th grade. He is now a senior and will be graduating in June. He has passed both high school exit exams and has had his driver’s license for the past 1 ½ years. He just completed an application for the local community college and will start working on his Associates Degree in Graphic Design beginning this Fall. If you can’t tell by now, I am so proud of him for not giving in and giving up. We already have enough young men from single parent homes that meet that criteria, but not here!

Why is Laughter Important for Children?

Some days, communication between parents and children goes like this:

“Wash your hands!” “Did you find the other shoe?” “I need the permission slip signed today!” “Don’t yell at your sister!” “Where’s my homework?” “I signed that permission slip yesterday!” “Did you check under the table?” “Are you really going out looking like that?” “Can you drive me and Madison to the mall now?” “If you want to cry, I’ll give you something to cry about!” “He started it!” “I SAID DON’T YELL AT YOUR SISTER!” and the winner: “If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?”

Life is busy, and instructional conversation makes up the majority of parent/child communication on an average day.

Here are some reasons to slow down, take a few deep breaths, and add some playful conversation — liberally sprinkled with laughter — to your communication:

• Laughter releases endorphins, the ‘feel good’ hormones that boost your mood.  Everyone is happier when the people around them are happier!
• Laughing with your children creates special memories.  When they are all grown up, the happy times will be recalled with great ease, due to laughter’s imprint on the brain!
• Laughter releases tension.  No explanation necessary — we all have pent up stress to release!
• Laughter facilitates an atmosphere of trust.  The effects of laughter last far longer than the actual minutes spent having fun together; the positive interaction increases the trust people feel in one another.

Studies demonstrate that the average child laughs over 300 times per day, while the average adult laughs only 15 times daily!

Let’s commit to increasing the laughter in our interaction with our children.

Yesterday, as I prepared this article, I decided to search youtube for funny clips for us to watch together.  This baby, who has already been featured on the Today Show, had us in stitches!  What do you do to add laughter to your family?

Multicultural Classroom Activities for Children

Multicultural classroom activities for children are now becoming a necessity because of educational institutions having children from diverse cultural backgrounds under its tutelage. In a society where political correctness is a significant factor in showing respect and sensitivity to cultures other than one’s own, the participation of educational institutions is highly important in molding children to develop cultural sensitivity. As Gonzales-Mena and Pulido-Tobiasen pointed out, the formative learning of children begin prior to starting kindergarten and teaching children not to be prejudiced at an early stage and reinforcing these lessons will teach them to become appreciative rather than fearful of differences.

However, holding a child’s interest can be really tricky. It is very rare that you can hold a child’s attention for longer than five minutes. As such, it is important that learning institutions develop strategies in trying to teach cultural sensitivity to children. One of the most effective means is through multicultural games for children which can have them interact with one another in a more personal way. One such game is Bafa-Bafa which requires a minimum of 12 participants and a kit for the teacher. In the game, the children are first instructed what to do and then two cultures will be formed: the Alpha and the Beta culture. The former represents a culture that is grounded on relationship, bears an eminent context as well as a powerful in-group and out-group culture. Beta will represent a culture that is grounded on trading and is highly competitive in this arena. After a few moments of simulating the cultures assigned, some students will trade groups as observers and visitors. After which, the students are debriefed based on whatever stereotyping, misconceptions and misunderstandings they have formulated through the game.  

Jane Elliott sought to reveal pre-conceived notions against other people’s cultures when she developed the game “Brown Eyes, Blue Eyes.” In this game the class is grouped according to their eye color: brown eyes and blue eyes. Then, each student is labeled with superiority or inferiority based on their eye color whereupon their racial discrimination tendencies are made to surface. For instance, the teacher can first make the “blue-eyes” group feel like they made the perfect wooden block castle and the “brown eyes” group feel like they really have no knack for constructing anything at all.  The point of the game, as Elliott wanted to emphasize, is that racial discrimination is a behavior that is learned and not at all genetic in nature. If children perform such activities with the assistance of a teacher who evaluates what they do, there is a good chance that they will either unlearn previous biases or learn that such biases are irrational and unfounded.  

Other multicultural practicum for children can be done via poetry or any type of literature. All a teacher needs is a collection of poems from different cultures. You can make the children act it out. It can be explained that through such literature, people have preserved their cultures. Furthermore, you can explain that these were originally passed down by generations through story-telling. Storytelling is one way of enjoying history especially when the one who relates the story does so in the most animated way.  

A classroom with young kids coming from diverse backgrounds who learn best while playing should be viewed by educators as an opportunity to inculcate anti-discriminatory values. When children are enjoying multicultural workshops for kids, they will feel more comfortable being who they are among their peers and in the classroom.

Author Byline: Haliyma Barrow is a freelance journalist with a Bachelor of Arts degree from Indiana University of Pennsylvania, and a Master’s degree in Public Administration from New York University.  Haliyma is a regular contributor of parenting articles covering useful parenting tips such as teaching kids to eat vegetables.

Speech Development Disorder in Children

Language disability in young kids is a condition that has baffled many specialists, since it has no known neurological cause. This condition affects the learning capabilities of the child as well as their social interactivity. A child who develops language skills slower than his/her peers usually feels out of place when in their company. This may sometimes lead to selective mutism by the child out of a growing fear of being ridiculed by his/her peers. It is important for you to look for early intervention if you feel that your child is suffering from this condition.

You should be aware of the signs that indicate that your child is suffering from speech disorder. Such signs include:

• Problems with phonology –  Your child may exhibit problems pronouncing the sounds of your language.

• Problems with syntax –  Your child may be having problems putting words together to form phrases and sentences.

• Problems with semantics and pragmatics – Your child may be having problems in learning words and knowing how to put them into context when speaking.

• Problems with prosody and intonation – Your child may be having problems maintaining the flow of your language.

 

The first step that you need to take is to have the child examined by a doctor who will diagnose the type of language problems that your child is experiencing. Primary language impairment in children is not associated with hearing issues, autism, emotional problems, developmental delays and other similar conditions. Secondary language disability in young children is directly associated with these conditions.

Depending on the type of verbal communication impairment that your child experiences, the doctor will be able to recommend the type of speech therapy that your child should undergo.

In cases of primary speech impairment children should receive physical strengthening treatment, audio therapy coupled with visual aids to help the child associate words correctly and repetitive therapy which involves the repetition of words, phrases and sentences and other forms of instruction that strengthen the confidence of the child when speaking.

In cases of secondary speech disorder in young kids, the doctor may advise you to take the child to special schools where he/she can be among others with a similar affliction and not feel out of place. The teachers at such schools specialize in coaching children with these specific problems, for example children with autism or aspergers syndrome.

In all cases of language difficulties in young children, it is important that the therapy improves the cognitive capabilities of the child. This can be through the use of signs and symbols, pictures and audio, and also therapy that will bolster the self confidence of the child.

If your child exhibits signs of communication impairment, do not despair. It may be a simple issue of having nobody to talk to especially if you and your spouse are working and leaving the child with a nanny who may not speak to the child consistently. If there is a serious underlying cause, then there are many therapeutic solutions that you can seek to help your child overcome or live comfortably with this condition.

This ia a guest post contributed by Haliyma who is a freelance journalist from New York. Haliyma regularly contributes features on child education including homeschooling and bilingual education.

Why do Children Ask ‘Why’?

When my oldest son was 4 he asked a lot of “why” questions. “Why do people have bones that are hard?” “Why are frogs green?” “Why is this puzzle piece shaped like this?”

It got to be exhausting. I felt as a responsible parent I should provide my son with answers, but some “why” questions are hard to answer if you are not a walking encyclopedia. It is tough on your ego not to be able answer a 4 year old. There were also the times when I did know the answers. I would launch into a lecture on the migrating patterns of the Canadian geese visiting our backyard. After about 30 seconds his eyes would glaze over and he would run to play on the swings. What was up with that?

Parents do not need to feel inadequate if they don’t have the answers or take the podium when they do have knowledge to share. Most experts agree that when children ask questions out of curiosity they are really saying, “That is so interesting, I would like to figure this out myself or with a little bit of help from an adult.” That is why it is more effective to say to a young child, “That is a great question. Why do you think the sky is blue?” “What an interesting question, can you think of some reasons why the rain makes mud?”

When we answer a “why” question with another “why” question we encourage children to think for themselves and explore their own ideas. Serious “why” questions merit discussion and preferably it should be a child directed dialogue. There is nothing a child loves more than having an adult who is genuinely interested in what they have to say. Kids want to come up with their own answers and it gives them something to mull over. It also helps them develop critical thinking skills. Children feel important when we ask them their opinion it builds their self esteem.

This technique of responding “why do you think?” to our children’s “why” questions, benefits us adults as well. It gives us an idea of what children are thinking about and reminds us to stop and appreciate our wonderful world through the eyes of kids. Children love to engage us in this way. It is a great way to bond with our children. Learning together in a respectful way is a great way to nurture your relationship with your child.

Children may also ask “why” as a way of voicing their concerns. Children don’t come out and directly tell you what is bothering them. Sometimes they do not have the words to describe their inner feelings. When they ask, “Why do I have to go to school?” They might not be trying to “get out of” what they are supposed to be doing. They may be letting you know that they are having a problem with their teacher, peers or their work.

When your child is using “why” to express his worries or fears, he/she is trying to engage you in a discourse. To help your child work through their emotions it can be effective to reflect your child’s feelings. You can say, “You sound upset about school” or “Something seems to be bothering you about school.” This helps open the channels of communication. A child will start to feel comfortable exploring their complex feelings. Reflecting a child’s feelings instead of jumping in and trying to fix the problem helps to keep the conversation flowing. This allows parents to understand a child’s perspective so they can give them the support that they need to manage their problem.

There is another reason why children ask “why.” They may use it as a way to fight against the limits that you set. “Why” questions can be used to defy you and sidetrack you from sticking to your guns. “Why can’t I get another lollipop?” “Why do you always make me wear a hat?” “Why won’t you let me get that video game?” These kinds of questions should send up a red flag.

Children enjoy a good debate and love to try to get you to change your mind. They have plenty of energy for this task. They will ask and ask as a way to confuse you. They hope that the endless questions will wear down all your resistance. They force you into a position where you feel you need to explain yourself and come up with arguments to support your rules. It is a technique that I think I have seen Bugs Bunny use.

In this situation it is effective to use both of the skills outlined above. You can reflect children’s feelings and gently and firmly turn their “Why” question back to them. You can say, “You seem sad about the one lollipop rule, why do you think we have that rule?” “It sounds like your annoyed with your hat, why do you think it is important for people to wear hats?” “You are wishing you can get that video game. Can you tell me why you can’t get it?”

This approach is a soft way of reminding your child that you understand their frustration but that you are confident and staunch in your ability to maintain your non-negotiable rules. You will not be drawn into a series of circular and moot arguments. It is ironic but experts have found that children feel more comfortable and secure when parents do not back down from the rules they set. Although they will fight long and hard children do want to lose these arguments. As soon as they see you mean business they will quickly leave you alone. It is a way for parent’s to respond without actually saying the hated “no”. The endless, never ending arguments will be short- circuited.

This technique also benefits children in other ways. It requires children to think about why rules are important and what the reasons are behind rules. It actually reinforces the limits parents have set, in their minds. They gain a perspective they otherwise would not have. It also forces the child to take our answers more seriously encourages them to become more cooperative.

Children’s can use “why” questions for many different purposes. They can use them to get answers about the world around them, to voice their fears and to gain the upper hand. It is important to recognize why your child is asking “why” so that you can respond appropriately. Reflecting your child’s feelings and and turning their “why” questions back to them is the best way to do that.

Guest post by Adina Soclof. For more great parenting tips like these, visit us at www.parentingsimply.com. We look forward to hearing from you.

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