Imagine that you are looking for a ride to Los Angeles. You meet someone who says that they have room in their car to give you a lift to California. “Exactly where in California are you going?” you ask.
“Oh, we’re not sure. Just somewhere in CA,” he responds.
“I need to get to LA,” you explain. “Are you going in that direction?”
When he answers, “I don’t know,” then you look elsewhere for a ride.
Obviously, you do not want to travel with someone who does not know where he is going! Similarly, would you want your child to be raised by people who are floating aimlessly through their children’s formative years?
It is highly recommended that you put your parenting goals in writing. We have mission statements for our charities, our businesses, and our volunteer groups. Why not a mission statements for your family?
One family decided upon the parenting goal, “We want our children to feel confident about their abilities and free to express their creativity.” They printed their mission statement on decorative paper and hung it on the refrigerator.
Several days later, Dad walked into the kitchen to see five-year-old Tami leaning over the kitchen sink spraying sudsy water over the counters and the floor. Repressing the reflex to react in anger to the wet mess, Dad noticed the parenting goal on the fridge. Calmly he asked, “What are you doing?”
“I’m washing the dishes!” Tami answered with a note of pride in her voice. “I’m helping to keep the kitchen clean!”
“What a great idea, that was really thoughtful of you,” Dad replied. “How about if I help you unclog the drain, so the water won’t overflow, and we get a stool for you, so you don’t need to sit on the counter?”
“Gee, thanks Daddy,” Tami said after they had cleaned the majority of the puddles. “Now I’m going to be able to wash the dishes even better next time!”
It was a result of this family’s goal that this father was able to redirect his initial reaction, and respond in a way that would help his daughter achieve her goal. Instead of leaving his daughter to feel guilty and embarrassed for her unsuccessful dishwashing endeavor, he was able to give Tami the appreciation and confidence in accordance with the family’s goal.
What’s your parenting mission statement?