Comments on: Everything Versus Something

By: baths accessories

baths accessories — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 09:57:41 +0000

baths accessories

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By: Tip Cake Decorating

Tip Cake Decorating — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 01:04:52 +0000

Cake Decorating Ideas for Fantastic Looking Cakes

You don’t have to be an expert cake decorator in order to make fantastic looking birthday cakes. Here are some cake decorating ideas to help you to make your cakes extra special that do not require exceptional cake decorating skills.

By: Lori

Lori — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 20:33:15 +0000

I will vow to wake up 30 minutes earlier so that our morning can go smoother. I am not a morning person and neither is my 12 year old daughter. We tend to have arguments in the morning and then everyone is stressed, even my 10 year old son. I don’t want to be the source of stress for either one of my children, especially when they are going off to take the PSSA’s at school!

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 19:16:15 +0000

Another thought……this is only my observation and my experience….
It seems that since I am at home all day with my child then sometimes that one-on-one time is hard to make a priority because he is so needy on and off all day. I would like to be more invested in my boy’s heart and really take time to know him. I want to encourage all the facets of his personality. I think it is important to take the time to channel the negative things onto a good path. I don’t want him feeling unimportant, unlistened to, ignored. This has to be one of my top priorities.

By: Leah

Leah — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 14:15:57 +0000

I feel like crying after reading this. Partly out of relief that I am not alone and partly because I am overwhelmed at how hard it is to do these seemingly little things. I am going to start with going to bed earlier every night this week in order to have enough energy to tackle all of the other “small steps” I plan to work on next…

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 10:20:47 +0000

I resolve to let my 12 year old fail…1) to allow her to forget her violin, not drive back home and pick it up for her, but let her sit through Band without it, 2) to let her miss the bus and then dole on chores to keep her busy as a consequence, 3) to let her clothing be dirty and she have “nothing to wear” because she didn’t wash them or at least put them in the clothes hamper, and 4) to go without breakfast because she would not get out of bed to have time to eat it.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 03:57:15 +0000

I appreciate everyone’s post….I am guilty of yelling, not paying attention to, not playing with regularly, and not following through with consequences. Parenting is the hardest job and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the areas where I am not the mom I want to be. Just desiring good things for my son is not going to bring them into fruition. I must begin today to take my baby step of 30 minutes per day of undivided playtime/attention doing whatever my little man wants to do. This commitment I will not feel guilty about or regret….so what am I waiting for? I can give up my time and be selfless for 30 minutes a day.

By: Latha

Latha — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 03:46:27 +0000

Had a great time reading all your responses. Got ideas and tips that I could use. Just to share: I’ve got 2 kids(6 and 3 yr old). I leave home for work at 730 in the morning and I’m back home usually at about 7 in the evening. As soon as I get home I talk to them about school. Then after dinner we will settle down to do some homework, colouring, drawing etc together. When we are done I’ll watch with them their favourite cartoon. It will be their bed-time by the end of the programme. Getting ready for bed is usually not a favourite with my kids as they prefer to go to bed later with us.But we usually get over it pretty fast cos’ I’m so used to it (I usually don’t lose my cool). We will read, say prayers, sing and then they are off to bed. With that I’ll have some time to do my own things. In the morning usually its pretty smmoth as I wake up early no matter what time I go to bed. I don’t want them to be late for school and of course I want to be at work on time. This works wonderfully for us. Hope it stays that way. Thanks to helpful tips from friends and books.

By: moonlit

moonlit — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 19:26:34 +0000

This is exactly what I need and at the perfect time as well!

OK my small step for this week is to get my 3 youngest children to bed at bedtime. They are to be in their beds by 8:30pm.

Thank you for this post!
Moonlit

By: Karen

Karen — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 03:03:48 +0000

Tonight I told my boys to get ready for bed. They did. I went in the room about a half hour later to play a game of UNO with them (around 8:30) and they were fast asleep. I’ve been feeling bad about them falling asleep without my reading them a story or tucking them. My oldest is 11 and my youngest will be 9 in a week. They really enjoy when I read to them. Before I read Dee’s comments, I decided to at least tuck them in before they fall asleep. Now I plan to read, say prayers and just spend some calm time with them before they go to bed. Thanks Ellen and everyone for your posts - you’re all very inspiring.

By: carrieann

carrieann — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 20:54:49 +0000

positiverly affirm my kids by my gestures, tone of voice, aura when i walk in the room, and in the morning greet them with hope “goodmorning sunshine, todays gonna be a great day”. i will also do my BEST this week by getting enough sleep, eating choices, and exercising.

cheers

By: Lisa

Lisa — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 20:02:58 +0000

I am the mother of six children, 7, 9, 15, 16, 20, and 22. I am going to make sure I spend individual time with each of my children. Normally everything is a group gathering at our home. They need the personal one on one. It does get very challenging to find the time alone with each child. My first step is to do it at least once a week. Those of you who are going to spend more time reading to your children, all I have to say is do it, do it , do it. I wish I had spent more time with my older ones.

By: Ellen C. Braun

Ellen C. Braun — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 18:52:57 +0000

WOW! I am AMAZED at all these comments!

Today my 4-year-old came to rest in my bed 30 min prior to my alarm ringing, so I was already awake and the ring was not the usual shock to my body. Being that I own this site and would have been greatly embarrassed not to have fulfilled day-one of my commitment, I got out of bed right away:) (although I may have fallen asleep for a few seconds in the bathroom, lol…)

We had a great morning with time to play after breakfast!

Good luck to all of us, and keep posting your progress!

By: Dee

Dee — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 18:42:51 +0000

I really enjoy your website. Lots of good info. to pass on. I’m a medical & Hospice social worker who additionally now works with a new program where I do home visits with moms (from prenatal til their kiddos are 3). At first I thought, “Oh, my gosh! What do I know about moms and babies. (I’ve worked with the elderly for 17 years!) But I have 8 grandchildren (under the age of 6!), so I’m not completely “out of the loop”. Thankfully, I was able to work from home and then during school hours, when raising my children. I just want to share this one tip with you. You may have read this before, but it’s one of the best things I did with my children. Every night, (and you can only accomplish it for so long, as they get older and each child has their own activities! And I hate to be the one to tell you, but they do grow up and will one day prefer to be with their friends than you…..don’t take it personally!). Anyway, from little on, I’d give my kids a bath (together when they were little). I’d get my daughter (the youngest) ready for bed (while her brother played and drew on the bathtub), and read to her for 15-30 minutes ALONE. Then her brother would join us in her bed and I would read to both of them for 15 to 30 minutes. We had a devotional book series by William L. Coleman (Listen to the Animals, Today and I Feel Like a Warm Fuzzy) in addition to a Shel Silverstien poem and a story that we would continue from night to night, that they particularly liked. By then, my daughter would be sleepy and we’d say prayers and she’d be asleep. Then my son would have his time ALONE with me and we’d read together. Our bedtime routine often took 1 1/2 hours, but it was a special time that we looked forward to and were protective of it for many years. My children now have a similar bedtime routine with their children. These days, I know it’s really difficult, especially for working moms, to carve out some time to be ALONE-TOGETHER with each child. But if you can make a small change toward establishing those “little rituals” (bedtime, Job Jar, Family Night, Game Night, etc.) with your kiddos, it will make a huge difference and they will remember it when they are Moms & Dads, and be grateful to you for it.

By: Kelley DG

Kelley DG — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 18:41:31 +0000

For Cynthia: I know what you mean about them doing the same thing over and over. Good idea having them narrow it down to one thing a day. Also, something we have done with our boys, we wait until it’s dark outside and we get flashlights and music in the family room and the kids (and sometimes adults!) take turn “performing” to some music while everyone else sits on the couch and uses the flashlights as spotlights. It keeps the rest of the kids busy while one is taking his/her turn, and makes it more interesting for the adults watching, too.

By: Carol

Carol — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 18:38:43 +0000

I “hear ya” Patrina. I tend to favor the needs of our 5 year old, Jeremiah before the needs of our 9 year old, Jonah. And Jonah DOES notice this.

Why is it so much easier this way? I tend to tell Jonah, “you’re older, just let your brother play with it now so he’ll stop complaining”.

I know that’s wrong and this week, I need to start defending Jonah more. If he has something or is doing something Jeremiah wants to do, I need to “bit the bullet” and tell Jeremaih he has to wait until Jonah is done, no matter how “noisy” he gets!

Egads…here we go. Keep me in, and Jonah, in your prayers!

By: Anita

Anita — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 18:28:36 +0000

Thank you for your site. I also need to work on going to bed at a decent hour so I can get up and start my day effectively.

I tend to be somewhat aware of my husband getting up and getting ready for work. He wakes me to pray just before he leaves, but nine times out of ten we pray with me laying in bed fighting off going back to sleep and trying to listen and participate in the prayer. (Please forgive me, Lord.)

Then I’m back to sleep until I wake up without an alarm in just enough time to get everybody dressed (just dressed, not styled), lunches made and in the car with a toasted frozen waffle to eat on the way to school that is within walking distance. All the while repeating “Hurry up and _____ you’re gonna be late!!” Who’s really late here?

I will strive to be in bed by 10:45 and I will set my alarm to wake up, make my bed and meet my husband in another room to pray instead of laying in bed!

By: Veriance

Veriance — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 17:30:58 +0000

I will find something positive to start with when my nine year old comes home. Not “do you have homework?” rather “I Missed you!” or “Was it a good day at school?”

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 16:50:51 +0000

I am going to try to pay more attention to my kids. Some days they want to be engaged for what seems like hours and hours. Having a 3 and 4 year old, repeatedly ask me to watch them do the same things over and over is hard when I feel that there are more pressing things to attend to. I have guilt for this because they are so cute and agile but it gets so boring. And lately I use the “excuse” that I am tired because of Child #3 who is still months away from arrival.
Watching the same spin, the same twirl, or dance move, headstand, rollerskate shuffle etc. is tiring but they love the attention. So I resolve to ask them to show me daily something I know they would love me to watch and spend 15 minutes of undivided attention just looking and being happy to do so while I do it instead of feeling harried and trying to get them to hurry through whatever it is they are trying to show me.

Thank you so much for this site. It has opened my eyes and made me more aware of my own actions as a parent, and to work harder to parent with love rather than through stress.

By: Jackie

Jackie — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 15:16:50 +0000

I have to say I try really hard to be there for my 4 children,9yrs,7yrs,6yrs,4yrs. I take time to do their homework with them each night and do all we need to in order to make it through the night, but I have not be very good at giving each of them even 15 min of individual time. I know they need it. It just seems that by the time we get home straighten up, cook and eat dinner, do homework and then do baths we have no time left. My goal is to spend 20 mins a night with one of my children, starting with the star of the week and rotate through each night with the next in line. I started the star of the week because they were always arguing over who got to do things first and this way we have a star of the week that we change on Thursdays and when it comes to any issues that would involve who gets to go first we start with the star of the week and then in alpha order the next and so on. So if Cora is the star of the week then Hunter is next then Taylor then Beth. It has really helped keep down the arguments. I am going to try and spend more time with each one individually. And yes one day turns in to two and then a week and then month and so on. Thank you sooo much for your site I love getting inspirational tid bits that ultimately help me through my day…….thanks

By: Patrina

Patrina — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 14:01:02 +0000

Dear Ellen,
Yesterday my oldest son (Bernard 12) was showing me something while I was trying to put his brother (Ryan 4) to bed and while he was showing me it I interrupted him to remind him about something I had asked him to do earlier and he walked off hurt stating that I always did this. I in turn responded that if he HAD done what he was supposed to do then I wouldn’t have to remind him. I realise that I was wrong to interrupt him and also that I do not spend enough alone time with him each day. He is such a good kid, never complaining that he is usually last on the list when it comes to attention in this 3-boy household. So today when I pick him up from school I will apologize and I commit to spending at least 15-20 minutes each day just with him. Wish me luck.

By: Fatema

Fatema — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 13:59:30 +0000

Being a kindergarten teacher i can relate to the “small victories” in the learning process but its ironic how strongly it can also make a difference with our own hurdles. thaks for tis lovely idea. we all need a push, especially me,

my hurdle would be the wke up in the morning, i leave the house for work before my hubby and daughter, leaving snack bag ready to go for school. howver dont have time for my own breakfast .:( because of the snooze button.

i recently read an article about how important it is to look after ourselves , mentally and physically to be able to reflect and match own energy to our children’s.

for me effort to look good also makes me feel good and energetic to tolerate teh heat for the day. ( in Tanzania) .

Have not tried this approach to the hurdle.

will aim for 3 days :)starting from tomorrow

hope i can over coem it.

By: Ronda

Ronda — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 13:13:16 +0000

Oh my goodness what a wonderful post and wonderful timing, I have been stressed out of my mind with work stresses and have many “bad” habits like staying up too late to give me some “me” time, rushing my daughter around in the morning as we both are not morning people and are quite draggy trying to get going, not having time to spend just hanging with her after work. So for this week I will starting this evening give her at least 20 minutes of fun mom time, start the bedtime routine at 8:30 instead of 10 and go to be by 10:30!

By: Lee

Lee — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 12:51:34 +0000

Wow! I’ve always known I’m not the only parent who feels she’s not doing things right but it sure helps to be reminded I’m not alone. I just want to express my sincere appreciation for this website, it was sent to me and 2 of my friends at such a perfect time.
I vow to just listen to my 17yr. old son and not ask him everyday if he is doing all the things he knows he has to do to be a successful adult. I further vow to find a way to separate more from my 10yr. old daughter as she and I are very dependent on one another.

By: Christine

Christine — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 12:51:03 +0000

Wow!!! Thanks for this great site. I can relate to so much. Have trouble getting out of bed on first alarm also. Snooze button is good - but then it’s panic because we’re late.I am going to get up at first alarm for the next week. That will be my aim.

Our son is 10yrs with plenty of attitude. Doesn’t have a sense of urgency until it suits him. This year at his school they are using the positive system. The children are rewarded with a “P” for positive behaviour, work etc. These go with merit certificates that go towards a Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum award. Works wonders with most of the children.

At home I am now doing the “P” & “N” system. Positive/Negative behaviour or attitude. Also a “NA” for not acceptable. We have a chart made on our white board, and daily do the P/N or NA. Each P is worth 50c and an N takes away 50c.He has jobs I expect to be done each day (basic bed,bathroom etc) and he suffers the consequences if the right behaviour doesn’t happen. I’m tired of nagging and asking. He has been without his X-box for a fortnight now and understands why. Doesn’t like it but realises I can’t change my rules. You must follow through.
Things have improved slightly, he has a way to go. If I am up as soon as the alarm goes off, I feel this will make my morning smoother and then I won’t be so stressed. That’s my aim for the next week. See how I go?? Will update you on progress. Good luck to us all.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 09:19:42 +0000

Just last night my 9-year-old had an important heart-to-heart about how one-on-one time with her is like air and water for her soul. She needs it so much, it’s just basic for her, and I get preoccupied and forget. The irony is that I LOVE to spend time with her, especially lying down with her before she goes to sleep - it’s just not a habit I grew up with and I get out of practice.

I agree with the poster who wrote that even resolution for ONE day is sometimes more realistic - a week is a long time to stick to a new habit!! Each time we’re victorious over our less-evolved selves we should pat ourselves on the back!

You go Moms and Dads! Keep hope alive!

By: Jill

Jill — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:00:44 +0000

I am so overwhelmed I don’t know what my resolution should be. I would love to spend more time with my kids. I would really enjoy some one-on-one. I should listen to them read out loud more often (they are 8 and 10). I would like to be able to control my temper…yell less…nag less…and learn to set boundaries with consequences.

I guess more time with each of them and to let them know how much they are loved and how lost I would be without them would be a good first step. Perhaps some of the other things would just fall into place after that!

Thanks for everyone else’s ideas. I don’t feel so alone!

By: alison

alison — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 05:56:04 +0000

Amanda - thank you so much for sharing. I totally can relate! my two are exactly the same age difference, i have been feeling the same way (without the accidents), but yes, the lose of my temper on other things. I can not thank this loop enough - this was exactly what I recently imagined for support.

By: alison

alison — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 05:49:05 +0000

Thanks for all the sharing, I thought I was the only one, making small but big parenting boo boos.

I will start by noticing more things to praise my four and half year old son about. He is very high spirited, energetic and intense. I have found myself being a traffic cop of all the things we should not do, instead of focusing on what we can do, play more, laugh more. I will start with baby steps… by catching him in the act of doing positive things and praising him for doing so. I read somewhere recently we should praise 9 x for each type of constructive criticism. Seems like I need to swap that matrix in our lives.

Thanks again for sharing.

By: Anna

Anna — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 04:45:26 +0000

I am so greatful for your suggestions. I have a husband who works out of town for five days a week, a business to run and two young boys. We are very active in our church, and I volunteer locally on behalf of the American Cancer Society as well as at my oldest son’s (who is a kindergartner)school. My nerves are usually shot about bedtime and as much as I love my children they unfortuantely become the brunt of my frustration. My husband is very supportive, but he really is nothing more than an encouraging voice from another city. It is amazing to hear from all of you and to know that there are mom’s who are really out there doing the same things that I am.

My baby step for the week is to take 15 min before I pick up my children to wind down so that when we get home I have a clear head for the evening and to make sure that they know mommy loves them more than anything else in her life (well them and daddy, too). Thank you for being my sounding board. Good luck to all of you!

By: Amanda

Amanda — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 04:00:26 +0000

This post couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time for me. I have been so frustrated with my nearly 5 yr old son lately. I know some children regress when a sibling is born, but his brother is now 13 months! He has had so many “accidents” in his pants these past few months(#2). I think he his holding it in so that he doesn’t miss out on anything until he can’t hold it anymore. Last night was one of those nights. I lost my temper and yelled at him. I was so angry! And this is not the first time that I have shouted lately, but last night I was angry and I yelled. Now the emotion I feel is far greater than the anger I felt last night. I feel awful about how I handled it, he was horrified that I was so angry, he actually looked scared and that breaks my heart. We had a long talk today; we both cried, apologized for our behaviour, decided we would both make extra efforts to make eachother happier people. I will have more patience (where did it go?) and he will act like a big boy again. I love them both so much, I never realized how much a mother loves until I became one, but I do see that my relationship with my eldest son has suffered some since my youngest was born. I do make extra effort, sometimes, to have time for just him and I, but I don’t think it has been enough. I used to be so confident in my parenting and now I am having some serious anxiety that I am somehow screwing it up.
I am going to devote special time to my oldest everyday to do something that he wants to do, even if I don’t want to or particularly like the game/toys/activity.

By: Christina

Christina — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 03:19:09 +0000

It is so comforting to read how similar we all are!
My goal this week is the mornings, too! Even growing up my own mother had a hard time getting me out of bed…now I have to do it myself! I will try the tea/coffee to look forward to.

If this helps for the moms whos kids are “slow”…I made and hung up magnets on the fridge so my 7 year old could go to it, turn each task around when done and remind himself what was next.
It has saved a lot of reminding, though it took a whole year for him to remember all of them himself.
THERE ARE ONLY PICTURES! so it can work for toddlers, too. There is a stick figure waking up, then one eating breakfast, then putting dishes in the dishwasher, brushing teeth, combing hair, getting dressed, then a backpack.
The last “picture” says PLAY! so he knows if he gets everything done before we have to leave or before bedtime (which has similar drawings) he can do what he wants!
It has taught him to self-check, and prevented a lot of reminders…now you can say, “You might want to go check and see what you need to do next.” And they feel proud!

Good luck to me in the morning, and we can do this.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 02:59:52 +0000

This week I will spend one-on-one time with each of my children (we have 4). This is hard to do because one of the other children buds in on the conversation or game or whatever it may be.

By: Shauna

Shauna — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 02:36:12 +0000

I really feel bad about this but it is so easy to swear when anger or frustration takes over. I never really swear at them but too them, make sence? And to me I midaswell be swearing at them. I always ask them to do things calm and quite, but after asking a few times with no response I lose it. I am going to try to stop myself from sweaaring this week. I may still yell but I won’t swear.

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 02:23:49 +0000

I can totally relate to Lisa Marie, I have a dreamer too. It takes forever to get his shoes on to go out the door. I will close my eyes and count to ten instead of yelling at him. thanks!

By: robin

robin — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 00:47:56 +0000

Remember to ask my daughter “how was your day?” everyday and show interest in her day.

By: Ben

Ben — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 00:31:31 +0000

I sit with my children and give them time and listen to them every night. Most times i get interupted with so called “VERY IMPORTANT” interuptions.It ends up with me dumping them.

I have now taken upon myself that every Wednesday night no matter what, I will shut myself off from the world for 15 minutes per child be what may be. I will take the phone off the hook and not answer any doorbells. Hope this will slowly flow on to every night.

By: Melina B

Melina B — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 00:24:14 +0000

I have four children ages 7, 11, 12, and 14. I have taken “baby steps” at improving my parenting skills for the last 5 years. Mornings, bedtimes, and chores are finnaly working out smoothly, however i still find myself becoming short with the kids. I have come to realize that i have spent so much time working on my parenting skills that i have forgotten that taking care of myself is an important part of being a good mother.

Here goes my attempt at taking care of myself in order to better care for my children…for the next four days i will take 30 min. each evening after the kids are in bed to do something enjoyable for myself, without feeling guilty about it.

I catch myself using the time after the kids are in bed doing things that i think will give me spare time the next day, but the next day i use my spare time doing something else that is supposed to take the stress out of the next day.

By: Susan

Susan — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 00:20:15 +0000

Ive started showering in the evenings after my 6 yr olds bed time. It saves at least 30 minutes in the mornings, so she and I have time to make her lunch together or go over spelling words.
My goal for the week is to scratch her back every time she ask me too.(alot) Even if I am trying to get some mom time… she loves it, and it helps her to relax before bed….
EVERY NIGHT. I CAN AND I WILL~.

By: Eliza

Eliza — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 00:10:13 +0000

After reading all of these replies. I can relate to most of them. I homeschool my kids, so I am with them all day. I guess I would like to start by taking deep breaths before I lose it when I feel that I can take no more. I have a lot to work on, but I think this is a good place to start. Maybe starting slowly will prove to be more effective in my efforts to change. Thanks!!!!!

By: Sahira

Sahira — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 22:32:59 +0000

Such a great post I (for the first time) had to reply…Each morning I dread getting out of bed (stayed up too late trying to have “me time” after my two sons-4years and 17months- are put to bed) and typically wait until the last minute to prepare for work. This makes it close to impossible to “come look at what I built” when my aspiring astronaut/architect starts pleading. This week I will go to bed by 10:30 so that I can get up earlier and not have to say “not right now, I have to get dressed” any morning this week. Baby Steps!

By: Eleanor

Eleanor — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:59:19 +0000

Reading is something that I have made a commitment to do with my son every day as I know that all the research shows that boys do not like narrative (story) books as they get older but prefer fact books. If we don’t engage their interest when they are young then they wont want to read when they get a little bigger so they wont be good at reading and therefore wont do well at school. It is most important for daddies to read to boys or they will think it is a girl thing and will again disengage. I have always read at least 1 story every day - even if that only takes 2 minutes - it’s a more realistic target than doing a specific length of time (particularly if bedtime is running late). It is also fantastic for language development as conversation can start with the book.

By: Gwen G.

Gwen G. — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:56:13 +0000

I agree with Kelly. So often I am repeating the same thing over & over…”brush your teeth”, “pick up your toys”, “clean you room”. Until I find myself exploding, instead of stating it once(maybe twice), then following through with a consequence. I will now stay CALM, and follow through.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:48:57 +0000

You guys have made me feel a little better about the time I spend reading with my son–very rarely. I love to read, and you just can’t read adult books aloud to a 2 year old. And he always wants to turn the page before I am done reading it. I have little patience and would rather not deal with it.

So I guess I vow to start at least once a week reading with my son, and maybe in time I can be doing it every day.

By: Eleanor

Eleanor — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:45:37 +0000

I made a commitment at new year with my 4-year-old that we would try to whisper instead of shouting. We try very hard but it is VERY difficult. We have worked in small steps; I make sure I smile when I collect him from childcare, we both try to come home in a good mood - me from work, him from visiting daddy. I have started to remove favoured toys rather than arguing with him in the morning - he refuses to get up / stop playing with his toys / clean his teeth etc and the only way to not get cross is to have a sanction. Getting to nursery otherwise is a nightmare. My best piece of advice from a friend was to choose your battles - only get cross when it really matters - I used to set my phone to remind me at 8am each day - it helped! We have made majot progress since January but it requires constant effort on my part or we have setbacks.

By: Tina

Tina — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:28:45 +0000

Like so many others I find myself not really paying attention to my children. I don’t remember where I first heard it but the saying “Children spell love T-I-M-E” really hits home. I will give each of my kids 15 min of my undivided attention every night this week.

By: Kelley

Kelley — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:19:53 +0000

I will try to decompress from my work day BEFORE I pick up my son from daycare and go home to prepare dinner for myself, my husband and my son. I tend to race from work to daycare to home to the kitchen and I often find myself snapping at either my husband or my son becuase I am tired and haven’t taken a few minutes to myself all day long.
I know that taking care of myself will make me better able to care for my husband and son, but knowing and doing are such different things….

By: Michelle

Michelle — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:19:28 +0000

Laura A. - I agree! A big challenge of mine is bedtime. Not so much a problem with my 11-year-old, but my 8 and 6 year olds are NEVER done with all of their important doings by bedtime. Start off with eating dinner 15 minutes earlier…hopefully this will help everything else that leads up to bedtime run more on-time and smoothly. I resolve to get dinner on the table 15 minutes earlier…then bathtime will be 15 minutes earlier…and the struggle to get everyone in bed will start 15 minutes earlier. The less stress the better!

By: Kelly

Kelly — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:14:44 +0000

I am going to try to not yell after asking my kids to do something repeatedly. I’m going to calmly state the consequences of not listening. Man, this is a tough one!!!

By: Jeff

Jeff — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:12:13 +0000

I promise to be more patient at home - We have 4 boys - 4 1/2 yrs, 2 1/2 yrs, 1 1/2 yr and 4 mos - yikes! When I get frustrated due to the evening craziness - I promise to take a moment to myself - think - and step back into my family

I only make things worse when I get upset.

By: Lisa Rolins

Lisa Rolins — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:11:13 +0000

Mary,

I’m bad about that also with Zack. He wants us to read to him at night. We do some nights and then other nights it just gets pushed aside. We get so darn busy at night.

By: Karol

Karol — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:10:18 +0000

For the rest of this week I will moderate my voice when talking to my 2-year-old and try to remember not to dwell on the little things (like messes, dawdling and raspberries).

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:56:08 +0000

I will sit and listen to my Kindergarten son read at his level 15 minutes every night this week. I know I am a terrible parent for not doing this already, but our evenings are always so busy that reading gets pushed to the side. I am a teacher, and I know better, but it still happens. I will do this for my son.

By: Jeannine

Jeannine — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:24:14 +0000

I love this idea because only small changes weekly can add up to be big changes later. My goal this week is not to nag my girls(3) to get their household work done. Gentle reminder and then a reasonable consequence. Here is to small steps. And thank goodness it gets easier to parent as your children get older ie. You break ground with your first, things get easier with your second and the third is a breeze.

By: Lisa Marie

Lisa Marie — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:23:39 +0000

For the rest of this week I will slowly count to 10 instead of losing my temper and yelling at my 8-year old daughter.

She’s a lovely little girl, but likes to daydream and it drives me crazy especially when we have someplace to go!

By: Kelley DG

Kelley DG — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:17:07 +0000

Ellen, a week? That’s no *small* victory. How about a day? Then after a week, move to two days…then three. Seriously, you sound like me in the mornings, and just one day is a victory! Plus, if your goal is a week and you don’t make it the first day, your goal for the week is shot.

Also, I find it helps to incent myself. For example, “I will get up when my alarm rings the first time, and I will ‘reward’ myself with a nice cup of green tea with breakfast because I’ll actually have time to make it.” So, when the alarm goes off, I think about how much I will enjoy that cup of tea.

Good luck tomorrow morning!

By: Laura A.

Laura A. — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:12:32 +0000

I will get the bedtime routine started 15 minutes earlier for the rest of this week so I am not so stressed that the kids are up late because my stress makes their bedtime even later which makes my stress go up which makes them even harder to get to sleep which makes my stress go up…

By: Keri

Keri — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:12:12 +0000

My goal is to honor my 16 yr. old daughter’s request not to ask her if she’s meeting with a teacher for help regarding a class she’s currently failing. She knows the ramification for failing will be repeating the class again next year, as well as not being allowed (by law) to participate in track. I must allow her to succeed or fail on her own and deal with any negative consequences she incurs. I must realize her successes and/or failures are not a direct reflection upon me as a parent. I’ve modeled and provided guidance, and I must allow her some independence. I will always be her parent, but I won’t always parent her.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:11:40 +0000

The fable is also why we are given babies - so our parenting skills can develop with the child. Managing a stroppy 9 year old is hard, imagine if you were doing it without 9 years of practice?!

Oh, and that snooze button! Mine comes in the shape of a wriggly, cuddly boy - a good half hour before I would ever want to be awake

By: sonia

sonia — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:10:45 +0000

My resolution is to relax around my 17yr old son, and look for the positive. He’s a good kid, but I know I worry too much about what he could or might be doing. I wish small souls had been around when my children were babies!

By: Natalie B

Natalie B — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:07:02 +0000

I will take a walk with my kids to discuss each day’s happenings. It’s free and good for us. The kids always enjoy it (and so does the dog).

By: Rodger

Rodger — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:05:29 +0000

Great post. Small steps is indeed a very effective way to change, eliminate, or develop a habit.

I wrote a post in my blog that describes this technique in more depth and has some forms you can use to help you keep track of your progress.

I call it “small victories”, you can find it here:

http://www.ksuccess.com/blog/95/small-victories

- Rodger

By: mandy

mandy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:03:54 +0000

My committment this week, to devote at least 20 mins a day to playing trains with my little guy, Reagan. I know this will be hard for me, my “mommy’s task” list is growing daily…

I can do this… one week at a time.

By: Pam

Pam — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:03:01 +0000

This post makes me cry, guess I have some guilt of all the things I would like to do better. I’ve been told that I am hard on myself, and maybe I am, but I always feel like I could be more involved and more enthusiastic when it comes to the things the kids are interested in.
So here goes..

This week my goal is to play with each of my kids (I have two) for 20 minutes each..their choice…We do things together, but alone time is hard to find.

thanks for the reminder..
pam

By: Lisa Rolins

Lisa Rolins — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:44:25 +0000

My resloution for the week is to play with Zacka dn his dinosuars at least 20 minutes in the evening. It’s really hard for me to get into playing dinosuars and monsters all the time, but I’m going to try.

By: Ellen C. Braun

Ellen C. Braun — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:22:39 +0000

Before sending out this email, I’ll volunteer to publicly state my own resolution here.

I’m not a morning person… never have been!

I tend to set my alarm for 25 minutes prior to the time I must wake up to have smooth morning with the children, and then get out of bed 30 minutes (that’s 8 snooze hits!) after the initial ring.

For this coming week (aside from weekends) I will set my alarm with sufficient time to have a wonderful morning with my children -even if an emergency like a lost shoe or spilled cereal occurs- and get out of bed at with that first ring of my clock!

My commitment is for one week, and I hope to up that to 2 weeks and then a month after this week has ended… please understand that I have not made this a commitment for life, we’re starting out SMALL!

I’ll report back hear in a week:)