A tough day

[Beowulf]

Ok, this isn't so much one funny saying so much as a tough day for daddy.

I have two daughters, Kacey 2 and Katrina 4, and for her birthday Katrina wanted to go to church. This is NOT something I normally do, but she insists, and I DID promise we could go out to the destination of her choice. We were running late for church because of the party preparations when Kacey suddenly decided she wanted to come as well. Big rush, clothes flying everywhere and finally daddy gets both girls in the car while mommy stays home to bake the cake.

On the way to church Katrina, out of nowhere said "Daddy! You weren't teaching peace!". She says this in a very accusatory tone. I ask her why and she said "You smashed the cockroach. That is not teaching peace."
"It is OK to kill a cockroach." I said.
"But you didn't use your words. You should always use your words first." Katrina said, while still sounding disappointed with me.
"Now Katrina, it was just a cockroach." I said.
"When you don't use words first, you make God sad." Katrina said.
I tried to explain further "Katrina, you should always use your words first when dealing with people, but cockroaches are different."
That conversation ended with my agreeing to try using my words first, and only if my words did not make the cockroach leave could I crush it with my shoe.

Thinking the worst was behind me with a mildly amusing story to tell, we arrive at church a few minutes late. I quietly bring the kids in during the opening hymn and sit down. Just as we are sitting down, Kacey lifts her skirt for the whole congregation to see. That is when I learned she had removed her diaper at some unknown time in the recent past.

Sitting her down on the chair next to me as quickly as possible and trying to help her keep her dignity was a challenge. As I am trying to get her to quiet down a bit, a nice man who apparently noticed the lack of protective covering on my almost potty trained two year old gave me a stack of napkins which I proceed to place Kacey on.

Unfortunately the napkins were an offense to Kacey and she needed to remove them from her vicinity by grabbing them and pulling them apart while trying to remove them from under her.

When I finally had this under control, if only for a moment, I look over to see her sister is gone. Fortunately I was able to locate Katrina quickly by the sound of her voice. Respectful silence for the prayer helped I think.

Turning to the source of the commotion, I see Katrina under another persons chair, trying to stand up underneath it and bumping her head, bumping the chair while the poor occupant tried to act like nothing was happening.

Shortly after that, the entire congregation watched me gather the girls back up and carry them back out the door and too the car. Katrina was upset because we were only there for fifteen minutes.

Demanding to know why we were leaving early I explained to her that I asked her several times to return to her chair and sit quietly and she knows the rule is that she must do what she is told the first time.

She asked if we could stay for the whole thing next week if she sat still and unfortunately I said "Yes" before I realized I had just agreed to take her back next week.

I am considering showing up with some sort of mask, but don't believe that will actually help me blend in.

[eyesarebright]

God bless Dads'.

[Looby]

This is why I send the children with daddy and I too stay home!!! lol

Better luck next week!! lol

I am sure they expect it really, if they allow children into the services it is to be expected one or 2 will make some noise, they are little still.

[Kiki Squidge]

Ok my sides hurt from laughing.

Did talking to the roaches get rid of them? lol

[Momsquared]

Thats a funny story..and maybe even funnier because it was a Dad!
But kudos to you for even ATTEMPTING that one!
I'm with Looby, if children are allowed in church, than what is also allowed is everything that comes with them...I know people who get so embarrased at how their kids act in church...you have two choices..
1. Wait to bring them until they are older (maybe 21?lol)
2. Develop a thick skin and ignore the "eyebrow raisers"...

Either way..your kids sound like they are fun!
lol
Pam

[Luvdababies]

I often think of taking my kids to church...as I was brought up in a church and would like my kids to have a sense of faith as well. BUT...I know I would be going alone...and with a 3, 2, and 1 year old, I'm thinking it won't happen! I can so see my 3 year old doing the whole "under the chair thing". Contiually annoying everyone in the congregation and making me feel like a failure :) God bless him for taking your girls!!!!!!!! Good luck on Sunday. Hey...maybe if you tell her not using her words and trying to lift up people chairs with her head makes God sad....she wont' do it!!! :forward roll:

[friendmom]

Oh Dear Beowulf,

The stories I could tell about children in church... I truly enjoyed your story! I'm sorry I laughed some at your expense, but I have been there and done that. My husband is the pastor of our church. And we have two girls, 7 and 4. The things they have done...

When dd7 was 2, she helped us as we set up for Communion. Well, she decided to pick up the tray with all the grape juice poured into the cups, and she tried to carry this tray to her Daddy. I called her name as she was tipping is because it was too heavy. Too late... down the front of her dress, all over the floor, splashing on her daddy's pant legs! So 5 minutes before everyone was showing up, off I am to the grocery store for more grape juice.

When dd4 was 3, I had her in an evening service. She was sitting pretty nicely beside me. Mostly still and mostly quiet. I was pretty pleased. I returned to singing the current hymn, until I got half-way through the next verse. There was a commotion across the room, and when I glanced over, yep... that dear, sweet child, who had been sitting so nicely beside me was swinging from the baptistry! And the only way I could get to her was to go through the people sitting in the service. I quickly looked to my husband for direction... His eyes were huge and were communicating "Get that child out of here as quickly as you can!"

Then another time, I was distracted by dd7 who was being a little disruptive during the prayer. It wasn't her fault, of course, another child was talking to her, and she was sure the Lord wouldn't want her to hurt that child's feelings by ignoring her. Well, while I was tending to that distraction, I could not hear dd4 asking me a question. So she yelled, "Mama, is that a nimple on your face?" (Nimple is her word for pimple. Unfortunately, the congregation thought she was referring to something else.) When my husband finally said, "Amen," the whole congregation burst into laughter.

I could go on and on, I have sooooo many stories. Maybe I should write a book. LOL But the point is this... anyone who has taken children to church has their share of stories, just like ours. Anyone who raises an eyebrow, either forgets what it was like or has never been there (that's okay, they're in for a rude awakening once their little blessings come along!) Either way, they are acting just like the disciples who tried to keep the children away from Jesus. And Jesus rebuked the disciples, not the children!! Jesus wanted the children to come to Him.

And there are plenty of churches out there who cherish their children. We have a nursery for ours that reads stories to the children, has play time, snack time, and craft time. It also has a stock of pull-ups, diapers and wipes to account for any need that might arise.

I hope you won't give up on taking your little ones to church, even if you need to find one that is a little more child-friendly. You both will have the richest memories if you continue.

Amy

[Looby]

LOL Amy,

I was just on the phone to my hubby when I read those.. he was laughing when I read them to him.. one of ours told him .. during prayers of course... they had done a huge 'parp' (flatulence!) and needed a big poo right now!.

Another jumped up and down on a pew wetting herself!!

He once had 2 of the Sunday school leaders come in at the same time both dragging hysterical screaming children.. he wanted to DIE on that occasion... the whole ground swallowing you up scenario.

Though he still maintains I was the most embarrassing, when at my daughters baptism she wanted a feed (breastfed) and I fed her.. someone came over and tried to 'usher' me most rudely into the creche at the back of the church and I said no I'm fine thank you, but this person was not giving up and went on and on at me and in the end mentioned breastfeeding being 'disturbing' to some of the congregation.. the congregation who had no idea she was feeding because she was under a shawl and I was turned away from eveyrone but my family.. in the end I piped up.. rather loudly.. 'would you care if she was being filled with formula? Was Jesus not breastfed? Am I not feeding my baby how the Good Lord Himself created us to feed our young??' She moved pretty darn quick with her face GLOWING.. DH was mortified lol

[keck]

Thats great !! Wish everyone would have the courage to stand ground when breatfeeding!

[kendallzoo]

Me too!!! I hated feeling bad when I had to nurse a baby. I got to where I was fine by the 3rd or 4th, but the first one especially I was really shy about.
HUGS, Tina