Comments on: How To Talk To Teens About Sex http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/how-to-talk-to-teens-about-sex/ Timeless Parenting Advice for Toddlers through Teenagers Thu, 10 May 2012 05:16:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Kristy http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/how-to-talk-to-teens-about-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-53839 Kristy Mon, 12 Apr 2010 13:37:55 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/?p=1482#comment-53839 My daughter goes to a Christian high school, and they had a speaker a few months ago who said something that my daughter still remembers and talks about. This young man was in his early 20s, and when he was in high school, he was surrounded by students who were sexually active. He, however, remained (and still is) a virgin. He said to his peers: "I can always change and be like you, but you can never be like me." In her bible class, they are reading a book called, "And the Bride Wore White." It's a very powerful commentary on the decision to remain pure, and useful to high school girls. I read it first, since we got the book this summer before school started; it helped to know what she was reading/learning about. I'm also praying for her to make good decisions as she matures into a young woman. We have always been very open and honest with our daughter about our family values and how the media depicts sexuality outside of marriage. As a result, our daughter has strong convictions that will serve her well in her relationships. My daughter goes to a Christian high school, and they had a speaker a few months ago who said something that my daughter still remembers and talks about. This young man was in his early 20s, and when he was in high school, he was surrounded by students who were sexually active. He, however, remained (and still is) a virgin. He said to his peers: “I can always change and be like you, but you can never be like me.”

In her bible class, they are reading a book called, “And the Bride Wore White.” It’s a very powerful commentary on the decision to remain pure, and useful to high school girls. I read it first, since we got the book this summer before school started; it helped to know what she was reading/learning about. I’m also praying for her to make good decisions as she matures into a young woman.

We have always been very open and honest with our daughter about our family values and how the media depicts sexuality outside of marriage. As a result, our daughter has strong convictions that will serve her well in her relationships.

]]> By: Alan Carson http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/how-to-talk-to-teens-about-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-53833 Alan Carson Sat, 10 Apr 2010 23:10:01 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/?p=1482#comment-53833 Lastmate: As with all courses I facilitate, I do my best answer everyone's questions. If I feel unprepared to give a thorough answer during that particular session, I will answer the question the following week, or send an email between sessions. While your questions are challenging, I will share my opinions with the class members. Alan Lastmate:

As with all courses I facilitate, I do my best answer everyone’s questions. If I feel unprepared to give a thorough answer during that particular session, I will answer the question the following week, or send an email between sessions. While your questions are challenging, I will share my opinions with the class members.

Alan

]]> By: lastmate http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/how-to-talk-to-teens-about-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-53829 lastmate Sat, 10 Apr 2010 20:43:29 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/?p=1482#comment-53829 My daughter's 14 now and though not dating yet, the time will come too soon. She changes the subject any time I bring up sex or sexual behaviors, and even yesterday when I wasn't even talking about sex, but just mentioning that Gregory Keck (author of a recent book about parenting adopted teens)said parents must talk about sex to their adolescents so it can be put into a moral context reflecting the parents' values (vs. in school, where purely biological aspects of it are taught around 5th grade, for fear of any religious overtones). She didn't even want me to "talk about talking about" sex! Of course even grownups rarely discuss sex or anything with a sexual context around our OWN parents--there just seems to be an ingrained avoidance of the topic when it comes to trans-generational conversations. Kids would much rather talk about sex with their peers, who may be full of misinformation and who certainly can't be counted on to share the parents' values. So how can I approach the subject with my daughter, without her literally covering her ears, turning up the radio or blatently changing the subject? One thing I want to somehow bring up is that the "pressure" could very well be within herself, since she's a very sensual person whose hormones are (and will be even more by the time she starts dating, especially if she's with a boy she's strongly attracted to) raging, so she might really WANT to have sex--with or without any "pressure" from a boy she likes/thinks she loves. She has told me she and a friend her age (also not dating yet) had "practiced saying NO", so they'd be ready to do so when the time comes. I laughed to myself, since even at my age I can remember how powerful adolescent desires can be, how I probably wouldn't have said "no" myself before age 18, had birth control not been so unavailable to me at the time and had not the social repercussions not been so much more negative than they are now (even kids who may have been having sex would rarely admit it to even their best friends, whereas now it's accepted as the norm among so many teens, and in the media, that virgins are often in a hurry to "join the crowd"). So I hope this teleconference will discuss not only resisting peer pressure, but also how kids can be persuaded to resist their own sexual desires until they are older (and how old should they be?), how they'll know they're emotionally ready and that the chosen partner is the right one, and how to prevent the intensity of sexual involvement with someone they have a powerful attraction toward, from dominating their thoughts and their lives while they're still trying to complete their education or begin a career? My daughter’s 14 now and though not dating yet, the time will come too soon. She changes the subject any time I bring up sex or sexual behaviors, and even yesterday when I wasn’t even talking about sex, but just mentioning that Gregory Keck (author of a recent book about parenting adopted teens)said parents must talk about sex to their adolescents so it can be put into a moral context reflecting the parents’ values (vs. in school, where purely biological aspects of it are taught around 5th grade, for fear of any religious overtones). She didn’t even want me to “talk about talking about” sex! Of course even grownups rarely discuss sex or anything with a sexual context around our OWN parents–there just seems to be an ingrained avoidance of the topic when it comes to trans-generational conversations. Kids would much rather talk about sex with their peers, who may be full of misinformation and who certainly can’t be counted on to share the parents’ values. So how can I approach the subject with my daughter, without her literally covering her ears, turning up the radio or blatently changing the subject? One thing I want to somehow bring up is that the “pressure” could very well be within herself, since she’s a very sensual person whose hormones are (and will be even more by the time she starts dating, especially if she’s with a boy she’s strongly attracted to) raging, so she might really WANT to have sex–with or without any “pressure” from a boy she likes/thinks she loves. She has told me she and a friend her age (also not dating yet) had “practiced saying NO”, so they’d be ready to do so when the time comes. I laughed to myself, since even at my age I can remember how powerful adolescent desires can be, how I probably wouldn’t have said “no” myself before age 18, had birth control not been so unavailable to me at the time and had not the social repercussions not been so much more negative than they are now (even kids who may have been having sex would rarely admit it to even their best friends, whereas now it’s accepted as the norm among so many teens, and in the media, that virgins are often in a hurry to “join the crowd”). So I hope this teleconference will discuss not only resisting peer pressure, but also how kids can be persuaded to resist their own sexual desires until they are older (and how old should they be?), how they’ll know they’re emotionally ready and that the chosen partner is the right one, and how to prevent the intensity of sexual involvement with someone they have a powerful attraction toward, from dominating their thoughts and their lives while they’re still trying to complete their education or begin a career?

]]> By: Wanda http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/how-to-talk-to-teens-about-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-53806 Wanda Fri, 09 Apr 2010 19:21:18 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/?p=1482#comment-53806 My oldest is 6, but it's never too early to be prepared. I'm watching my teenage nieces and dreading my kids' teen years ahead. My oldest is 6, but it’s never too early to be prepared. I’m watching my teenage nieces and dreading my kids’ teen years ahead.

]]> By: Erin http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/how-to-talk-to-teens-about-sex/comment-page-1/#comment-53805 Erin Fri, 09 Apr 2010 19:20:23 +0000 http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/?p=1482#comment-53805 This email came at just the right time- thank you. My ten-year-old daughter is going on 16 and I don't know what to say to her. Back when I was ten, I was just ten, not a teenager! This email came at just the right time- thank you. My ten-year-old daughter is going on 16 and I don’t know what to say to her. Back when I was ten, I was just ten, not a teenager!

]]>