Comments on: “I’m Bored”

By: Andrea Lee

Andrea Lee — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 21:48:31 +0000

I think you can try to re-introduce milk products into your own diet every 3 mos or so, and see how it goes. Give it 3 days of enjoying all that you want (or less if it’s clear that she isn’t adapting well!), and see how she does. My dd was sensitive for about 8-9 mos and then was fine. My ds, otoh, is still sensitive to dairy, so probably will be a lifetime thing for him (though I hold out hope that he will grow out of it, if more slowly. He’s 3 now, and gets a teeny bit now and again, and can tolerate some sheep/goat cheese, but not a TON)

I’m so glad she is doing better!!! YAY!

By: Em

Em — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 15:13:33 +0000

I wasn’t so strict about the dairy (i.e., anything even containing dairy) I had just been craving and drinking a lot of milk, and this seemed to be too much for baby. So, although I elimiated most “straight” milk from my diet, I didn’t necessarily eliminate all products containing milk (i.e., pancakes, occasional cheese, etc.) I would say, as mentioned, use the process of eliminination. You may not need to exclude everything. Glad to hear things are a bit better!

By: Dil

Dil — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 13:14:18 +0000

Thanks a lot, will do. This puts a restriction on lot of things…

How long should I continue avoiding dairy products? When does my baby’s system start accepting milk?

It is such a releif seeing my little one drink milk more peacefully than before. She is also such a sweeter individual these days… it really makes me happy to see her & be with her.
Thanks once more.

By: Andrea Lee

Andrea Lee — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 16:24:48 +0000

Dil, I’d totally avoid dairy for a while: butter, milk, yogurt (which is tolerated best, and should be re-introduced first), and cheese. You can usually take cheese off stuff like pizza, w/out problems. Many things have milk in them, bread, cooked eggs, pancakes, etc – even coating mixes for things like chicken and fish can contain dairy. My recommendation would be to cut out the obvious dairy first, and if the gas continues unabated 3-4 days AFTER you have stopped, start to eliminate hidden sources. http://www.godairyfree.org/ is a good resource, and http://www.milksucks.com/free.asp has a lot of good ideas too (even if I don’t love the name lol!).

Keep up the great work mama! Your little one is WORTH IT!!! **hug**

By: Dil

Dil — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:54:57 +0000

Thanks for all your suggestions,

I got in touch with my homeopath – he has prescribed some pills for me as well as the baby. With god’s grace & my homeopath’s of course( & Andrea’s helpful suggestion) things are lookin brighter.
She has better feeds & passes a lot of gas which seeems to releive her.

any other suggestions for a gas free diet? I’ll try and cut down on milk. Should I stop taking even milk products – or are they ok?

Thanks once again.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 01:45:59 +0000

DIL,

Find a craniosacral therapist to adjust the roof of your babies mouth. This is a painless adjustment that takes just minutes! Your baby will then be able to latch on and drink milk non-stop.

Good luck.

By: Em

Em — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 16:20:39 +0000

I cut back my intake of milk when breastfeeding. This seemed to help. Not sure why. Also, of course, gassy foods like onions, etc. I also did “on demand” feeding. The “4- hours-between-feedings rule” that some people insist on absolutely did NOT work for us. It was a lot of work feeding on demand(and sometimes you felt like you were feeding constantly!), but it kept my babies very happy and very healthy. Bravo to you for continuing to try. It does get easier and is so beneficial to your baby. Good luck.

By: Andrea Lee

Andrea Lee — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:48:25 +0000

Dil – milk is the most likely culprit if it is a diet issue, but could also be food dyes, eggs, soy, rice, or spices (such as cinnamon, maple, vanilla, etc – stuff from trees is more commonly reacted to). It sounds like you are doing good stuff to work on this – I highly recommend using homeopathic chamomila, for both of you, but it’ll work for you too!

There is also a possibility that your let down is hard for her, easier when she is relaxed, but you should be able to hand express a bit off the top which will let the rest come more slowly.

Hugs mama, it took me about 3 mos to get bf’ing down with my first. It DOES get easier!!!

By: Dil

Dil — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 05:13:10 +0000

Thanks Andrea & Jo-Anne,
i tried expressing milk & giving but she didn’t want it at first. But i have noticed that when she is calm or sleepy she takes the milk happily.
Last night as she was crying a lot I gave her some gripe water it seemed to have helped.
Some people tell me it could be gas – I am trying to change my diet, have talked to lactation consultants. Any comments from you all abt what your diet during breast-feeding was, would be helpful.
Thanks once again.

By: Jo-Anne

Jo-Anne — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 21:18:05 +0000

Dear Dil

Re: Breast-feeding (Not being Bored, for sure!)

Another thing might be your nipple size OR actual flow of milk … CAN you EXPRESS milk yourself? Does milk dribble out on its own? If you continue to have problems and want to make sure it isn’t the milk FLAVOR (as Andrea mentions)you might express your milk and use a baby bottle to deliver it to babe. If babe takes it willingly that way, it may be something to do with your ‘delivery system’, i.e. nipples.

If she still doesn’t like it, we are back to Andrea’s very good suggestion. J.

By: Andrea Lee

Andrea Lee — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 16:29:53 +0000

Dil – you need to make sure the baby is getting enough liquid, or she will dehydrate. Contact a lactation nurse at a local clinic/hospital, La Leche League, or a midwife may be of some help. My first guess is that you are eating something that she is either allergic to or does not like the taste of. Second guess might be that she has some other gut issue going on. Don’t let this slide! Hopefully by now you have some answers…

About being bored, if my kids come to me bored, I give them chores. I will sometimes give them big bags and tell them to fill them up for donations, or we may do some gardening or house cleaning together. Cooking is great, too. My 3yo makes more mess than help, but my 10 yo helps more than messes, so it balances out.

As far as unschooling and boredom go, they should have access to stuff like libraries, and be doing something almost constantly – a sewing project, a biography, learning geography, etc. There is always something interesting to learn, esp. when it’s something that they pick! Make sure your resources are up to date with your children’s ages and interests, and they will get back in the swing of things.

Good luck!

By: Tom

Tom — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 05:48:48 +0000

Number 16 is definately not bored. Wish I knew what to do.

When my kids first said they were bored, my response was ” People who are bored are not using their imaginations.” This put the responsability of finding what to do back at them. I rarely hear they are bored.

By: Dil

Dil — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 01:55:55 +0000

Thanks Ellen, your article is very insightful.

Right now I am facing a problem that is driving me crazy. I am a first time mom & this is abt my 1month old tiny girl.
I breast feed my baby. Usually she drinks her milk in small instalments as she is small. But from a couple of weeks she is unable to latch on to my breast after the 1st instalment. She screams for more milk and though the nipple is in her mouth, she just does not latch on. My paediatrician is clueless & so am i. if anyone out there has faced the same problem, pls help me out. I know my baby is hungry, I have ample milk to give her & yet she goes to sleep crying & hungry. Pls help me out.

By: Em

Em — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 20:32:13 +0000

ride your bike
fly a kite
write a poem
write to your grandmother
plant a garden
paint rocks
wash a neighbor’s car
walk a dog
draw/paint/sculpt
write a song
jump rope
race
rasie funds for a good cause
make a list of things to do when you’re bored!

By: Em

Em — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 20:30:00 +0000

I feel that some parents believe that their children need a three-ring circus going on around them from infancy. This is so NOT TRUE! There are so many opportunities for exploration in nature, volunteering, in art, writing, exercise (simply walking!)..old fashioned board and card games which are so wonderful for including a wide range of ages in “together” time. I’ve also always included my children in cooking everything from pancakes and cupcakes to casseroles. They love it! I could go on forever. I agree with Patty about not letting the weather stop you either! Take a walk in the rain…throw snowballs. The constant video games and VCRs even while on short car trips; all of the constant three-ring circus of technology leaves kids not knowing what to do when it’s turned off. Teach your children how to interact with the whole wide world around them!!! Sorry for babbling. I just hate the “B” word. I don’t understand that language.

By: Patty

Patty — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 13:26:57 +0000

Hi Ellen, as a teacher, I cherish my summers as time to spend with my kids. It’s hard not to dote on them when I feel I’ve ignored them for most of the school year (sigh, the motherhood guilt thing). But one thing I’ve made a point of doing with both son and daughter is to not let weather be an excuse for not getting outside. We live in Northern Canada, and if we waited for perfect weather, we’d only be outside a few weeks of the year. A hard rain means awesome rivelets to mess about it, cold weather usually means tons of good sledding, and if I show I’m willing to work and play outside, regardless of weather, then they don’t consider it a reason to stay inside. By the way, I read everything you send my way – great stuff – thanks!

By: Nonneke

Nonneke — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 16:55:57 +0000

my 10 year old autistic son has learned from his friends the sentnece: “I’m bored.” when he says it, it means either I don’t know what to do, tell me or I want you to play with me. being autistic makes it very hard for him to solve any problem, but I keep trying to get him to give any answer besides “I don’t know.” by asking questions that can be answered with yes/no and to try and put his problem and the possible solution(s) in words.

By: Deneen

Deneen — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 04:05:56 +0000

as I walk thru motherhood I’m learning the word bored stands for a few things , the most significantit would be not being content with what we have, or who we have around us .It becomes harder and harder to not give the pat answer such as IIf you can’t find something to do I will But truth be told they need repeated asurrance that they are enough and what they have is enough and who they have is enough to be creative to get thru those few minutes of Boredom

By: Dario

Dario — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:14:16 +0000

As with post 7, homeschoolers and unschoolers may consider boredom as a figment of our wrong understanding. Yesterday we were watching a doco about teenagers in England “binge drinking” and my 13 y/o daughter was shocked that their own parents invite them to the pub and say that 2 or 3 drinks are fine. The point being: where do kids learn how to behave and how to see life? If we think that we need to be amused by gluing ourselves to the TV what can we expect from our kids? Usually, unschoolers are those who enjoy learning and seeing their kids learning. I know of other parents who send their kids to a govt school and still do this. I reckon that the answers to many questions lie with our own daily choices and the little ones only reflect what “we” put in them.

By: Jo-Anne

Jo-Anne — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 20:34:32 +0000

I wish this blog & Ellen’s site had been available when I was (single) parenting! My brother & I were Foster Kids and didn’t develop parenting skills based on parental examples, there was a lot of moving and plain survival.

I now see more clearly, that when we became parents we were overly indulgent with our children – THEY were not going to suffer like we did, and WE were going to be Perfect (all-giving) parents.

Today as adults, these children, although they do have positive attributes, are noticably self-centered and often lacking in self-sufficiency & emotional maturity.

“As the Twig is bent, so the Branch is inclined!”

By: Cass Collins

Cass Collins — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 15:39:24 +0000

My usual response to our 8 year old’s “I’m bored” is “It’s ok to be bored.” If I do not allow the option of a screen activity (video game, computer or TV) he usually will find something to do on his own when offered the alternative of housework or weed pulling. Of course there is the requisite whining to listen to for a minute or so, but since he is the last of 4 sons, i have learned to tune that out.

By: Amita

Amita — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 15:04:56 +0000

Telling them to sweep the kitchen or do chores does not work with my 16 year old son! All he wants to do is watch TV and get online…any suggestions?

My children dont go to school, the idea being that we unschool….and let their learning’ happen ‘….because we live close to my parents, there is no control over Tv even if I dont allow access to our one…

By: Jamie Bennett

Jamie Bennett — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 12:52:17 +0000

I have a friend who once reminded me that boredom is very beneficial for our kids. Being bored gives children an opportunity to wind down and and let their minds wander along whatever path they choose – without structure. I believe that daydreaming is very healthy for little minds because it allows them to think freely and encourages creative thinking. So when I hear “I’m bored!” and the hair on the back of my neck begins to stand up, I take my friends advice and reply “Good!”.

By: val miller

val miller — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 11:21:20 +0000

I charge my 9-year-old 25 cents when the word, “bored” comes out of his mouth. It started out as a joke, but it works. He hardly ever says the “b” word now. I also ask him what the words, “summer camp” mean to him. He doesn’t want to go to any summer camp, which is fine, but there are tons of things to do at our house – indoors and out – so he can easily overcome his boredom when he wants to. I also ask both of my kids for help with all kinds of chores and provide lots of verbal praise. They are having a yard sale – they keep the proceeds – so they are helping with every aspect of that. I also send them around the block on bike and scooter frequently on days when we are home a lot. We have something fun to do most days; and errands to do on other days, so they keep busy. This is the first summer my son has been bored, so in the past I never had to make decisions about boredom and kids.

Good Luck!
Val

By: jeannie

jeannie — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 04:05:41 +0000

Once I had a kid tell me that, “I’m bored”…..I sent them to their room to clean it up and then they could sweep the kitchen.
Strange this subject came up, my 10 year grandaughter called the other day, she was bored and wanted to come over. When I told my 22 year old son what she had said , he shocked me by saying, ” I don’t ever remembering be bored…..there is always so much to do.” Seems as though and art pad, pencil and legos are very good to have around.