Comments on: I’m Bored!

by: Barb

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:25:26 +0000

I have solved the “I’m bored” problem. When presented with those two words, I present my children with a chore that needs to be done; folding the clothes, cleaning up the craft corner, cleaning out under their beds. Our kids are 10 and 7, the seven year old has autism and requires some extra gudiance, but the bordoms are gone!!! {:-)

by: furniture bathroom concept

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 09:09:35 +0000

furniture bathroom concept

by: Jey

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 03:22:59 +0000

When one of my sons, who can entertain himself quite well, says, “I’m bored”, I think it means he wants to spend time with me.

When my other son, who can’t entertain himself well, says he is bored, it means he wants the TV or computer!

by: Tanya

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 22:35:59 +0000

I have a different problem. Our 7 y.o. daughter and 5 y.o. son play together all the tiime. I tell people they play like twins. They are rarely bored because they are very creative and spend a lot of time with printer paper, crayons, glue, scissors,etc… However, our daughter is starting to want her “alone time” and our son is not handling this so well. He says, “Gracie doesn’t want to play with me!” with big crocodile tears in his eyes. I tell him it’s a great chance for him to do whatever he wants to do. He usually stomps off or holds up his arms to be held. This usually happens just as I’m getting supper made. Is there a really good way to handle this?

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by: Billie

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 11:36:11 +0000

I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old, obviously on different levels emotionally and physically. My 6 year old daughter is the one I hear the boredom speach from most often. I usually list 3 things I know she likes to do: Barbies, reading, arts and crafts. If her whining persists, I list 3 chores: cleaning the bathroom, sweeping the kitchen, or organizing Daddy’s CD’s. She ALWAYS chooses an activity - usually in the privacy of her bedroom. Works every time!

by: Kyla Hamilton

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:00:07 +0000

I suffer from intence Mommy guilt!! I feel I am not doing the right stuff with my kids to allow them to grow and mature independently.
Does anyone have any suggestions to get past the Mommy guilt and still playing with kids so they get the best of me and I get the best of them but also allowing me to rest and regain my sanity at the end of my busy day?

Kyla

by: Cynthia

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 13:37:26 +0000

Challenge your kids to come up with a dinner meal. Provide cookbooks so they can select the meal (with parameters!). Our kids (age 11 and 15) pick things they can make on their own (w/ supervision) and with the ingredients we have on hand. We’ve had a lot of strange dinners, but it was fun. Also, get a long term activity going. We have an old table they are painting (any colors they want) and then adding glued on tiles. Pretty funky. Let them paint their bedroom furniture. However, the “chore” thing always works!

by: Carrie

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 15:00:03 +0000

Ooh I can’t stand to hear those words. Bored people are boring. I don’t solve this problem. I might ask the child if they would like some suggestions, or offer to read a story, but if they’re just lacking in motivation, then I assign a chore. That changes the mood real fast

by: mar

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 22:21:39 +0000

are you kidding me. What child would say,
“Hey I think I’ll clean my room and then play.”???

I like the idea of giving them a ball of string,
paper bags or something and let them go. then they usually will get creative, though usually quite messy with my boys.

by: jennifer boze

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 00:37:09 +0000

Cathy, You and your soon to be husbnad need to sit all of the children down and set the ground rules for the household. They need to be told what is acceptable behavior and what the consequences are for acting out. Maybe get a poster and have them help number and list the rules. Each child gets their own column and they get a star or siley face for every rule that they follow each day, and at the end of the day, the one with the most smiley faces gets a special treat - be it extra TV or computer time, alone time with mom or dad, or extra allowance. You are in a tough position and need the FULL support of your fiance on this. If his children see that you are both a team with the same rules and consequences, they will be more apt to follow the rules. If they see that dad is a pushover, your life will always be chaotic and your children will suffer.

by: Debbi

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 11:06:58 +0000

I guess I get a bit sassy when I hear those words. LOL I usually reply with, “Oh, why didn’t you tell me sooner? I have a load of laundry to be folded, a sink of dishes to be loaded into the dishwasher…etc…”

Usually my children choose to play their musical instruments, or read a book…rather than come to me to solve that problem! LOL They know I’ll put them to work if they haven’t decided how to make themselves “unbored”.

It’s a technique my mother used, and it works just as well for my kids as it did on me! It’s amazing how smart your parents become…when you become a parent. LOL

LadyPoet

by: cathy

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:34:23 +0000

I am in need of some guidance, this is my first time here. my two children and my soon to be two step children (older) bicker all the time, they don’t get along. And I think the older ones are a negative influence on mine. they’re rude, ill mannered, lazy and have bad habits. How in the world are we going to cohabitate without them negatively influencing my children. (4,6,8,10) And they don’t feel the need to listen to me because I’m not their “real mother” who doesn’t even see them. Also how can I positively encourage them to improve without getting myself burned?

by: Sharon

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 00:44:10 +0000

OUCH Lisa, sorry to offend. None intended.

The only other thing I can suggest (since no-one else seems to be commenting) is that you try to let him play where you are, while still getting stuff done.

You might have to explain to him that while you love him and are so happy that he wants to be near you and spend time with you, you have to play by yourself for a little while. Even if it means some initial tears on his part.

Explain to him that it makes you feel really special that he wants to be with you, but that he has to let you have time to get some things done as well. Maybe you could try little bits of time and then increase it as you go.

3 1/2 is an age where you can start to really reason with kids and get them to understand your perspective. I am sure it will be hard for you and him while you work this out.

It will be an adjustment period of learning for both of you. For him it will be hard to learn he can’t have your (or someone elses) attention 24/7 and for you, it will be hard to say no, and stick with it.

Of course I don’t really know your situation b/c I don’t know you or your child. You may want to ask his teacher or your other friends who know you guys better.

Every child is different and it will probably take some time and different approaches to help your son not need you as his play date. My advice is not directed personally at your son, please don’t take offense. it is just based on my experience working with children.

Good luck

by: Sharon

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 01:07:20 +0000

If I had the entire answer within, I wouldn’t have asked for input from others.

Alex is very relational and prefers the company of others than playing on his own. He often seems disinterested in using his building blocks, lego’s, art work puzzles etc. He is very physical and prefers movement than cognitive sit down activities. (biking, running, ball etc). He’s been to all kinds if groups, classes and activities since beginning at six months old.
He didn’t like to be left on his own to play, sleep for very long.

He is now in pre-school two mornings a week. He does pretend play. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to play by himself. I think he just prefers the attention/company from others. He is very interested in music and spends a lot of time drumming, singing and playing his guitar. From the time he was born, he wanted to be held and close and to this day that remains true. He wants his peers to play with him and often disrupts them if they go off with their own activity.

Any other thoughts?

by: deb

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 23:23:58 +0000

I really liked Kim’s reply (#12) about how she was hoping someone would be bored so the towels could get folded! I teach middle school and that is exactly the kind of stuff they would respond to (if delivered with a smile!).

thanks for the help!

by: Sandra

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 16:17:42 +0000

My son is turning 5. All of a sudden, he’s bored! He never used to be bored. When he was younger he knew how to occupy himself….he was happy playing on his own with his toys, until now. When I give him a specific chore to do, such as: pick up the blocks that you finished playing with and put them back into the block bin, he will ask for my help because the job seems too big for him. I usually pitch in. (I’m hoping this is teaching him that it’s good to help others.) I’m still trying to tackle this boredom issue. Thanks for the advice in the artilce.

by: Sharon

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 00:24:06 +0000

In response to Lisa, I think only you can answer your own question. How responsible do you think you need to be to provide stimulation and act as a play date?

My son is an only child as well, but from the time he was about 5 months I began giving him “independent” playing time. For my sanity, but more importantly for him.

Some kids have to be taught how to be OK with being alone and playing by themselves. Not all children are creative and imaginative on their own.

My son would have no idea how to make his cars, trains and animals talk to each other unless I had shown him. Over Christmas he learned how to play in his pretend kitchen, making snacks and meals for mommy and daddy.

3 1/2 is a great age and unless your son has a medical condition that might make it harder for him to learn to play independently, you might be able to teach him how and give yourself a break.

It will take alot of time and effort on your part, but better now, than for the next 15 years.

by: Analili

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 23:16:29 +0000

We were getting ready for a 4-hour trip when the comment came from a 10-year old nephew: I’m bored. I heard a very interesting response from one of his uncles:
“I’m glad you’re bored. That’s excellent. That means you will appreciate more those times when you have fun. You will have a whole weekend full of cousins, receptions, and games. You’ll love the holtel pools.”
Clever, huh?

by: Vicki

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 21:20:33 +0000

When my children (ages 5, 6, and 9) say they are bored, I tell them to clean their rooms and they won’t be so “bored”. Miraculously, they find something else (and much more creative) to do and the boredom has ended. (Although, the rooms are still messy!:))

by: lisa

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 19:23:29 +0000

how responsible is a parent to provide stimulation and act as a play date for a 3.5 year iold boy who has no siblings and doesn’t like to play independenly??

by: Arly R. Wills

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 18:21:06 +0000

Actually, I think kids don’t get really bored just tired about the same things. As Cindy says: “Toys offer only temporary satisfaction” and kids nowdays are full of energy and always anxious for learn new things and try differents adventures. So, when your kids think they’re “bored” just listen them. If you take a minute of your time with your help and guidance, kids always find out how many differents things they can do, just using their imagination.
And great alternative to eliminate “boredom” is chores alternatives. Kids love we let them get involve in whatever we’re doing: filing papers, peeling potatoes, trading market, folding towells ….
My son, 5 y.o. love to try science experiments. Now we use ordinary materials like vinegar, string, eggs and paper to make extraordinary things. Now at the same time he is learning why things happen in the way they do he get blast fun!

by: Kathryn

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 17:04:00 +0000

Excellent article! I love the ideas and the tone that you apply to the parent/child exchanges. I am a big fan of the “Love and Logic” approach and it’s wonderful to find more examples supporting the philosophy of lovingly teaching our children to be independent and responsible. Thank you so much!

by: Jim Fay

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 15:19:16 +0000

Ellen,
I sent you an email asking if you speak at conferences. Didn’t get a response.
You might want to check out our web site, loveandlogic.com. You can read about our conferences. Call or emai if you are interested.
Jim Fay
800 338 4065
303 883 3541

by: Robbie

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 14:26:29 +0000

I’ve eliminated the “I’m Bored” problem with my kids. I started by offering suggestions about creative things they can do with their time. Now I just say, “I can put you to work!” After a couple of times of that….they think of the creative things on their own!

Works great!

by: Laquita

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 13:36:22 +0000

For Alan: The first thing you can do, assuming your physician has seen your son, is to change your eating habits AS A FAMILY. Start by throwing out all of the junk foods and stock up on fresh fruits and snacks with low cholesterol. Bake and grill foods instead of frying them. There are many great cookbooks and other resources available today and the foods are actually really tasty! Go AS A FAMILY to a nutritionist for help. By doing this AS A FAMILY, you will not only show your son how important this is, and how much you care for him, you will be instilling healthy eating habits that will stay with him for the rest of his life. (and the rest of your family’s) One thing to consider also is that this may be a hereditary thing. Only your physician can determine this and additional medication may be needed to help your son. I suggest you have EACH family member evaluated as well. This will only succeed if you make the changes AS A FAMILY. I congratulate you in enrolling your son in karate. The physical activity and training of the mind will benefit him greatly and the discipline he will learn will make this a little easier too. Good luck.

by: Pam

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 12:43:21 +0000

Ellen,
Once again, a wonderfully affirming article for this teacher turned stay at home mom..
I appreciate all of your “reminders”..
I don’t know how many people know this, but these are the ideas that REALLY WORK..if they don’t then maybe you need to try it again…
Thanks!

by: Stephanie

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 06:10:25 +0000

My son is 5 1/2 and I try so hard to have him listen to me but he has learning problems. The I’m bored doesn’t really apply but the I can’t do that or this does. Are there any articles I can read to help my situation? I am really tried of picking up after a husband, 5 and 2 yr old and not being able to go to the bathroom without someone getting into something.
Thanks.

by: Melissa

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 03:40:48 +0000

We love your articles Ellen - Keep sending them!
Here’s a suggestion that we do when my kids whine that they are bored. We have a large crate of scrap paper, stickers, glue sticks, felt, kid scissors, markers (you name it we have it in that crate). We take it out and put it on the kitchen table and let them BE CREATIVE. It keeps my 3 little ones busy for a few hours and they are proud of what they have made. We keep replenishing the crate with scrap ribbon, paper, extra x-mas cards, beads, etc…And… only bring it out when they get bored. The kids love to add to the crate. They learn to recylce items that are reusable and they get real joy pointing out what they have added to the crate. Best of all, my little ones know if they clean up really well and put all of the items back in the crate for next time, they will get homemade hot chocolate (which is a real treat in our house).

by: Janet

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 03:16:07 +0000

When they were in a good mood one day, we made lists of more than 25 things that my boys like to do, like play soccer, read, swim, etc. Whenever they are looking for something to do, they go and look at their own personal list to remind themselves.

by: Barbara Goldman-Sherman

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 02:08:31 +0000

This article is so timely!!! For the 1st time ever today my son (4) was officially BORED, and I didn’t try to solve his problem although I sympathized with him and continued making lunch. He disappeared. Thirty minutes later I found him in the bathroom, soaking wet with soap bubbles everywhere and the soap dispenser empty — he was cleaning up! I praised him for doing such a great job cleaning, and I helped him “finish” and we sat down to lunch. He was very proud of himself, and I was proud of him for solving his problem. Yes, boredom needs work to do and a sense of accomplishment.

My bathroom smells great (it was peppermint castile soap) — one warning, when he went to brush his teeth tonight, his toothbrush filled his mouth with peppermint foam — I guess when I rinsed the bathroom, I didn’t rinse his toothbrush. I gently suggested that next time he cleans the bathroom, he use less soap.

by: Alan Sibley

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 02:07:52 +0000

I need help. I have a 9 year old who is over weight. We have just placed him in Karate. It is very difficult to keep him away from food that is bad for him. His cholesterol is 300. Do you have any information to help us.

by: Becky Taylor

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 01:41:10 +0000

I was afraid to say “I’m bored” growing up. It could lead from laundry to painting a room to planting a garden. My children (2 & 6) play well independently and together. But, when other children come over they easily pick up on the “I’m bored” idea. I recently told them they had too many toys to choose from and we should give some away to the Salvation Army. You know, just to make them not have soooo many to pick from and be overwhelmed. It was amazing how quickly Woody & Buzz were playing with the Rescue Heroes and the K’nex.
I say try all sorts of things. You never know what’ll work.

by: Rebekah Osman

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 01:37:12 +0000

You are so right. It takes practice but anyone can do it if they are willing to try. If you are finding that this is a difficult concept be willing to try it. Some say it is impossible or too difficult without even trying. So when we tell our children to try new things and we are not willing to try things ourselves, are we not being hypicritcal? I taught kindergarten for 8 years before I stayed at home with my daughter. I have used these skills in my kindergarten class and they really work. Now I am able to do it with my daughter. It took work at first but after about a year it came very naturally. It is a learned behavior for us but we can do from little tykes to big ones.

by: connie newman

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 01:24:32 +0000

i have 2 responses one is” man thats tough ,good luck w that.” the other is great, being bored is good practice for when your an adult. connie

by: Maria

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 01:03:06 +0000

I have a very easy solution for my kids boredom. Here is an example for you all!!!
son: Ma, I’m so bored!!!
Mom: Are you telling me you have nothing to do?
son: aha!!!
mom: OK, if you are so bored you may help with the dishes, or maybe the laundry, or even better what about cleaning your room.

Believe me, they forget they are bored instantly

Good Luck!!!

by: Sharon

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 00:58:28 +0000

I really like what moms Tricia and Cindy had to say. My son is only 2 and can’t voice “I’m bored” out loud, but he certainly can express it through acting out and letting me know he needs some TLC or some “work” to do.

I have noticed that he plays independently really well and when he acts out he usually needs some good quality time with mommy or daddy.

Favorites are reading(sorting through mail)
colors & shapes(folding the laundry)
and the name game(emptying dishwasher or fridge).

And when he is older and can complain, “I’m bored” hopefully he can figure out what to do with himself with a little help and patience from mom.

by: Marsha

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 00:38:34 +0000

hehehee… The conversations in my house usually do not end as well as those!

BUT I know with time, it does get better.

When we finally got rid of the TV watching (all but a couple of hours a week), we heard I’m bored all the time! But after a few days, they really did learn to occupy themselves and find things to do. They used their imaginations more and came up with lots of fun stuff.

Sometimes I would give them ideas of what they can do (play a game, marbles, trains, make a card, etc). Other times I would give them a new “tool” to use– like a big ball of yarn, a couple of brown paper bags and some scissors, etc. I won’t sit down and tell them exactly what to do, but give them something new to throw in the mix.

Of course, if they’re REALLY bored I always have some extra chores!

Very timely article, especially with this blast of cold weather! THANKS!

by: Kim

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 00:28:39 +0000

yep. I do the chores alternative also. with six children there are always chores to be done. There are almost ALWAYS towels to be folded.

I usually respond very cheerfully - “oh, that is WONDERFUL! I was hoping someone would be bored today so these towels would get folded. You can either fold the towels or find something to do on your own - either choice is fine with me but I’d really like the towels folded. you could think of what you’d like to do next while you are folding.”

Usually they will fold the towels to be helpful followed by lots of thankful pizazz from me and then go off and do something on their own.

by: Ellen C. Braun

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 00:10:29 +0000

Great idea, about feeling accomplished.

I once paid my 7-year-old five cents per utensil to polish my silver-plated cutlery… that kept him entertained for hours!

by: Sue

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:57:11 +0000

Ahhh! As a mother of five children, 29, 26, 22, 21 and 10 …I’ve heard “I’m bored” before! My oldest children constantly warn the youngest son to never say I’m bored to Mom….she will say: If you are bored with all the toys and activities you have here, I think I can find some work for you to do!….Needless to say, after cleaning out their closets, under their beds and straightening playrooms …they learn to never Whine “I’m bored!” He thinks it is amusing to hear their stories of life with Mom & Dad before he was born…but I notice that he does pay attention to their valuable advice.

by: Cindy

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:51:28 +0000

Boredom seems to be more of a problem today than it was years ago. What usually eleminates boredom is work and the feeling of accomplishment, or that you’re useful. Kids don’t have to work today. Toys offer only temporary satisfaction, work is much more satisfying and rewarding. They don’t know it, but work is actually one of life’s greatest pleasures. Find some appropriate, yet challenging ‘work’ they can do to help! It will give them the satisfaction they’re looking for.

by: 'Tricia

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:48:48 +0000

Often when a child (or adult) says they are bored they are really saying they are lonely and want some friendship and/or attention. Re-directing them may help at times. Other times they need a little TLC, play group (or book group) to socialize a bit.

by: Joyleen

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:48:12 +0000

There is a generation that is clueless about how to keep themselves occupied with out outside stimuli. Since I used to amuse my self without any electronic help, as a parent I get really frustrated an seem to try to enable my child. Thank you for all the fabulous information, I sometimes sit with my daughter and we read it together-to take care of her “boredom”

by: Janice

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:44:53 +0000

I like and agree with the concept of your ideas to empower the child to solve their own emotional issues. I try to instill these same ideas with my own children. However, your sample dialogues are way too unrealistic. I would have been happier had their been some push back from the child and then they eventually solve their own problem.
While it may not be the most direct route, in my house, if we get to the part where they want me to come up with ideas to solve their boredom, I offer them chores. This frequently prompts them to come up with their own ideas–and sometimes they actually do the chores because this is better than any idea they had. (note: my children are 11 and 16–with the 11 year old being the most “I’m bored” person)

by: Jacky

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:32:18 +0000

Sorry I was supposed to say re-programmed!

by: Jacky

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:31:23 +0000

I sometimes feel I need to be completely programmed before I can say the things you mention in the, ‘I’m Bored’ article

by: Peggy

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:29:55 +0000

This doesn’t work for teens.

by: Ellen C. Braun

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:21:42 +0000

Oh, Alice, lol- you are so right!

Isn’t everything easier said than done?

Well, if we can implement these ideas 20% of the time right now, and with practice 80% of the time a year from now… we have made a world of a difference in our children’s futures! And each child is his/her own world!

by: alice

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 22:59:25 +0000

Wish it were as easy as you write this!