- Realize that the Relationships you are developing with your children NOW … are setting the TONE for their TEEN years … and the rest of their/your life.
- ie, ‘as ye reap, so shall ye sow’. The teen years can be difficult even if you have been a sensible & diligent parent – but if you haven’t managed a good ‘balance’ shall we say – the chances of living a ‘hell on earth’ are greatly increased.

- It is really difficult to feel like giving when your own tank is on Empty … therefore all the advice on Taking Care Of Yourself are important. It is also important not to GIVE our children THINGS (easy to do) instead of giving of ourselves (developing relationships with them) & being good role models.

- ‘Kids these days’ often develop a sense of Entitlement at the expense of Responsibility, you are doing them a huge favor to teach them responsibility (doing their part) so that when they get out in the real world it won’t be such a shock, and they will be less needy of your ongoing support. We all know of adult children leaning on their parents for years on end, right? Both financially and emotionally.

All things in Moderation, and for the Right Reasons is a good motto to parent by.
- Hang In There Ladies! It IS a marathon!

The nice thing about being honest with your kids is then they can start to make choices and better understand their own limits. Lots of times we will sit down immediately after school/work. And sometimes one of my daughters will make me a cup of tea while we relax.

I have 7 children 4 of which live with me and my husband. After my “day” job you will find me running my shuttle to 1-3 practices or games, trying to put together a “healthy – fast” meal, taking care of the house, doing loads and loads of laundry ETC – I’m preaching to the choir.

Believe it or not – when I take time to take care of myself FIRST, I can take care of everyone else. I reduce my tension and am able to put things into perspective. If I focus on my wellness, when my son leaves his glove at home across town or one sock is missing or I have to hear the same joke for the 42,123 time, I can take a deep -breath and move on.

Exercising is imperative! I know think – YEAH RIGHT – when can I fit that in? Ladies you can exercise almost anywhere you go. Get up on your feet and find places to get moving. It doesn’t have to be in a gym or for long. You can always find a little place to walk while they are practicing. I find a another Mom and we walk, talk and watch our kids. 3 birds with one stone – remember multi-tasking is what Moms do best. You will have more energy to face the second shift. “Just do it!”

Our kids grow up and then they are gone. Let’s give them the best we’ve got. Trust me – I have learned (with so many kids) we ALWAYS have a little more in us to give and who deserves it more than our family.

Overwhelmed mentioned PLAY practice – that’s probably a FREE activity – and YES – kids really do need activities.

It’s got NOTHING to do with being frugal – some of us NEED two incomes.

And what we need more of is helpful, constructive dialogue – NOT a slap in the face.

As a mother and a single parent of a Special Needs child who is 12 and very active, I feel overwhelmed at times too. As women, I believe that it is difficult to take time for ourselves when we need it because we feel as though we need to “give” everything to our kids. It seems to me that the two older children can help the younger ones with their homework for 30 minutes or so to give you a break. Or perhaps, since the weather is getting nicer, you can all take a 15-20 minute walk when you get home, so that everyone gets a little exercise and you can relax a little and hear about your children’s days. Before or after supper, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to let your kids know that mom needs a 30 minute time out. Go to your room, lock the door and read a book, listen to music, watch TV or just relax. The rule is NO ONE is allowed to interrupt mom or knock on the door during that time. The reward could be extra TV or computer, mom reading a book to them or a sticker on a chart for the younger ones. If need be, pay the two older ones a buck or too for keeping the younger ones out of your hair.

I had an arrangement with another mom similiar to the one mentioned above. We started a “babysitting club” and took turns sitting each other’s kids. All of the other moms dropped out, but one mom and I stuck to it. We developed a great friendship and so did our kids. It was a great arrangement and worked out well for both of us for many years.

Two things that I do for myself during the week are: I take time on Sat. mornings to attend Weight Watchers and spend some time with my older daughter. I also hired a sitter so that I can take a painting class during the week. Once a month, I go to scrapbooking or stamping workshops. I feel better about myself when I am taking time to do the things that I enjoy and both my son and I are happy to see each other when I get home.

All of the suggestions above are good ones. I wish you all of the best. I think that if you get creative, you may find solutions that will be relatively inexpensive and will keep both you and your kids happy! Once a month, hire a sitter or have your older kids sit and go out on a “date” with your husband. You two need someone “alone time” to reconnect as well. Feel blessed and grateful that you have 4 healthy kids and a husband as well. They will be grown and gone before you know it. Writing in a “gratitude journal” daily has helped to remind me of all of the blessings that I have and I have gotten my son doing the same thing! Prayer and talking to a friend is helpful as well.

You are awesome just the way you are because you care!

I am in the same boat. My day starts at 4:20 am – up and showered and on the road before 5 am. I leave work by 3:15 – pick the kids up (4 and 5) and then my second, much harder job starts. If we had the extra money for the assistance that would be a great solution. Also it would point to the fact I wouldn’t have to work – I don’t think we work for EXTRA income – lol – we work to get by! We have no help from family, either. It is HARD. REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD. I see my husband for about a minute a night before I pass out from exhaustion at 9 pm. If I get a minute to myself during the day at work, I am just about reduced to tears.

I don’t think it is the kids – it is HAVING TWO FULL TIME JOBS. And don’t tell me about cutting back lifestyle – we live in the crappiest neighborhood, drive used cars and are doing all the “right” and frugal things. The bottom line – it is really hard. We did try sharing responsibilities with some of the other moms in our moms group, but mostly that ends up being very one sided if you are not drop dead careful defining roles. And most of them stay home, so they don’t understand needing a “break.” They just don’t GET IT.

My parents, who live 3000 miles away, wonder if this pace of life can possibly be sustained. I wonder, too. We have gone thru 3 nannies in the last year – that would come in to help on Saturday. Besides the unpredictability and the complaints from my husband about expense, we finally just stopped having them come. It was way more trouble than help.

There are times I fantasize about going to jail – three meals – a library – simple tasks… KIDDDDDING – I am kidding! Hang in there OVERWHELMED – you are NOT alone!