Parenting FAQ’s
by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Problem Solving
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Nancy, I can’t address very many of your issues. But the last statement of your message jumped out at me. I have 10 children, the oldest of which are twin boys now 30 yrs old. When they were small, one of them had diarrhea a lot too, sporadically. They had been bottle-fed with regular formula from the start. When he was about 2.5 a doctor finally suggested I take him off cow’s milk. His diarrhea immediately vanished, and to our wonderment, he finally started to grow some hair. By the age of 3, his hair was lush & full like his brother’s. To this day he drinks only a milk substitute. We aren’t sure what part of the milk he’s allergic to, but it certainly was the culprit in his diarrhea. Perhaps your son is allergic to something else, but I would have to try an elimination diet for that part of the problem. Perhaps your chiropractor may have some ideas. I hope this helps a little!
Any advise on warring teenage sisters??
They are child # 1 and 2, 16 and 14 1/5, and have a love/hate relationship which is lately more hate than love. I have clearly told them that our home WILL be peaceful, and things have gotten a bit quieter, but far from perfect.
Hello
My name is Catherine Butcher. My husband Dave and I have 3 children. Joshua is the oldest (14 years-starting high school), Caroline is in the middle (9 years-starting grade 5), Rachel is the youngest (will be 4 on Sept 4th-starting JK). Yes Rachel was a surprise, I became pregnant with her after selling all the baby furniture in a yard sale.
Josh and Caroline have required extra support. Joshua was diagnosed with Hyperlexia (which is similar to Aspergers Syndrome) when he was 4 and just starting JK. Caroline was diagnosed with bi-laterial sensory-neural severe to profound hearing loss and has been wearing hearing aids since 2 1/2 years old.
Rachel to this point only has an attiude issue which I’m sure has travelled down the gene pool from my grandmother.
Josh and Caroline are both doing amazing. Upon diagnois for each child we sought the help of professionals and did all we could for them in order to even out the playing field with their peirs. They are both integrated into the main stream in school. There were a few years that running to appointments averaged about 3 times a week. The extra appointments, information, research, home progaming, etc were very tiring but what I continue to find extremely draining emotionally and psychologically is the advocating.
Hi all-
I am a lucky mom to a very spirited 3 1/2 year old. Lots of hugs to those who are going through hard times. I don’t even feel like I should ask questions since the troubles I have with my daughter pale in comparison to what some are going through.
For those who are having issues with school/homework, I just wanted to let you know that the “traditional” school system is not the only way. There is a kind of school that has been around for almost 40 years that respects all kids and all kinds of learning. The original school is called Sudbury Valley http://www.sudval.org and there are about 30 others throughout the country. This may be too radical for some, but if this post helps even one family find peace that will be enough. Check out the website and order a book from them for more info. Take care and good luck.
Hi all-
I am a lucky mom to a very spirited 3 1/2 year old. Lots of hugs to those who are going through hard times.
For those who are having issues with school/homework, I just wanted to let you know that the “traditional” school system is not the only way. There is a kind of school that has been around for almost 40 years that respects all kids and all kinds of learning. The original school is called Sudbury Valley http://www.sudval.org and there are about 30 others throughout the country. This may be too radical for some, but if this post helps even one family find peace that will be enough. Check out the website and order a book from them for more info. Take care and good luck.
Hello, I have a 6 year old daughter that is a social butterfly. I have alot of problems getting her to focus on the task at hand she is to concerened about the goings on around her. At home we have ways to control this and seperating her from her brother when she must get work done. A small example is meal times she will take an hour to eat because she day dreams or is to busy acting silly. The timer just doesn’t work on her.
My biggest problem is at school, I saw this first hand today. All the other children have completed their work and she hasn’t even finished the firt project. She is to busy looking at everyone and else and around the room. The teacher has to give her a trifold board to put up in front of her to keep her focused. This works only half the time. She does very well if she finishes the work, she is a smart child I just consider her more of a free spirit.
So my question is, How do I encourge her to get her work done in a timely manner, without worring about what everyone else is doing? but at the same time encourage her bubbly personality. She is a great child but I’m worried that down the road her school work will become effected, I don’t want school to turn into a social event.
Thanks for your time
Heather:
Perhaps headphones might work — our daughter has found (she is older — 14) that if she has her headphones on (low) with music she can focuse much more effectively than without them. Generally, she’ll put one earphone in and leave the other out. Her teachers report that she participates in discussion and is on-task.
Just a thought.
Susan C
heather,
My sister was so slow at eating when she was young, hours at the table. My mother made a cut out doll for the wall. every time my sister would take less than a certain amount of time, she could choose one item to put on the doll. If she took longer one item came off. Mom told me it worked pretty well for a while anyway. Perhaps this isn’t right for you, but something along that lines?
good luck
My 2 1/2 year-old daughter has a fear of cars and parking lots. I am 36 weeks pregnant and when going from a parking lot to places such as her school or music class she throws a fit if I don’t carry her. It is not practical to put her in a stroller for these short trips. It is getting extremely difficult to carry her at this point in my pregancy. Has anyone dealt with this issue before? My pediatrician says it is a phase that she will grow out of, but that doesn’t help me now.
hi, i see it’s been a while since someone posted
i have 5 kids, b”h, and when everyone gets home, everyone vies for attention i feel like sometimes i am going to crack
especially because my 3 year old screams until i actually get to him
any good advice on how to split myself into 5?
thanks
Hi, this is the first time I have posted on this site, but after reading the post from parents dealing w/ children w/ a disability, I thought I would share a little. I have a 7yr old son who has been diagnosed w/ autism. It is a struggle to find effective ways to help him learn. There a few therapies out there that have been utilized by many parents, they are Applied Behavior Analysis(ABA), TEACCH, and Floortime. We use ABA w/ our son and it has been a lifesaver….but every child is different and I researched each one before I decided which was best for my son. We also use a visual schedule w/ him, it is called PECS, basically it is showing him w/ pictures of everyday things, like brushing teeth, bathing, dressing, eating, play time activities, etc…of what he will be doing on any give day. Him being able to SEE what he will be doing, lessens his anxiety and helps relieve some stress for the rest of us…they thrive on routine and schedule and most of them process things better visually than verbally.
There are a ton of websites out there…check out http://www.do2learn.com for info on PECS, and the Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis website to find out more about ABA….you can do a search for the other therapies.
I have done a ton of research on autism and have an ABA therapist for my son….I would be happy to help anyone who has questions as I have a lot of info on my computer that I have downloaded and lists of resources and ideas.
Sorry sooooo loong!
Lori
For Jennifer with the 6 year old explosive boy. My son is bipolar. This was not discovered until he started kindergarten. He always spoke very negatively about himself. He would become extremely verbally and physically aggressive towards adults at school and in child care. This is how and when it was discovered that he is bipolar. He is currently on two different medications and has taken at least a year and a half to get him close to leveled. On and off medication, being extremely positive and affirming is greatly successful. If you know that his behavior is not controlled, don’t dwell on it with him. Let him know that it is not acceptable but you are proud how he handled (name a certain situation). My son has become a more confident child with praise and recognition from family and caregivers. With his confidence level raised (and medication), he has become more successful than ever.
Hi. I am the father of 4 and have 2 stepchildren who have now grown. [one is studying for a degree in nutrition]. Check out the websites http://www.mannarelief.org and http://www.rxfreekids.org/ the results are fairly amazing. Just had to reply to all who are struggling with children tagged with a ‘condition’ by the medics. I really can’t emphasise strongly enough how beneficial it can be to use glyconutitional supplements to help. Love to all you parents and kids. Ian. ian@downie.com
Thanks Ian for your recommendations but i prefer to see a medic prescribing that. My kid doesn’t respond well to every medicine so i must take very good care of that.Appliance parts
Question? I am 65 raising an 8 yr old daughter. Where can I find women who will take chance on dating a person in my situation?
Hi, I have a 5 1/2 year old boy and a 3 1/2 year old girl. Recently, my son has been going to my bathroom and locking himself in there, and when I ask him what he’s doing, he says he just wants to be alone for a while. So I have not pressed on the issue, but after a little detective work, I know now that he goes to my dresser, takes one of my bras and goes into the bathroom and locks himself in there. I have no idea what he does in there. I know that at this age they are curious, etc. But I don’t know if this particular behaviour is normal, whether I should talk to him about it, confront him, or should I just let it go and he’ll get over it on his own. And if I do need to talk to him, what should I say? I really was not expecting this kind of concern at the age of 5!
Hello,
I am a mom of a 4 and half year old girl, and I truly have problems to get her dry over night.
My husband sais to not giver her anything to drink 3 before she goes to sleep. Yet, she runs around and we all know what ‘burning energy’ does, it get’s a person thirsty. I won’t let her drink much, but I can’t seem to not give her anything to drink at all.
Also he suggests to wake her up when I go to sleep and make her go to the bath room. I don’t want to do this, because it is in most cases the time when she is in her deep sleep period, and I don’t find it healthy to wake her up when she is in her deep-sleep period.
What can I do to get my child dry over night?
After all, she is going to be 5 years old this coming summer and she still has accidents almost every night.
I’d very much appreciate a suggestion that is less rigid than what my husband has suggested.
I feel pretty clueless lately, because I even put her potty including her night-light right close to her bed, in case ‘she has to go’ at night.
She possibly does not even wake up and has not yet learned to wake up when she feels the urge.
What can I do to help her recognize this?
Thank you so much, guys for your input on my challege here.
Yvonne.
Yvonne,
I know a family that had the same situation; the problem was solved very quickly believe it or not! This person decided to go to the doctor and confront the situation because she was at her witts end ~ (she tried everything you mentioned and then some!)
The doctor told her to go to the toy store and buy the toy that the child wants more than anything in the world (nothing out of budget of course) and put it somewhere they can see it, but can’t get to it. Then tell them that if they want it bad enough, they will stop peeing in the bed and get up to go potty like a big kid. In the situation I mentioned the toy was a simple truck. It took him 3 days. He decided that truck was worth it and never had an accident because he knew if he did, he’d lose his truck and have to start over. He had to go every night for a few nights in a row to earn the truck in the first place.
I hope this helps!
Karen
Hello, I am the mother of two wonderful kids, although tiring. My Daughter is 9 and my son is 2 next month (same father and monther by the by…many people wonder that…just son was a mircle baby) and they love each other completely. My son falls his sister around all day and worship the air she breaths. But sister is 9 and wants her on space at times. She also gets jealous because an infant/toddler requires more one on one time…he won’t feed himself or cloth himself after all. What is the solution of making her feel more “loved” without taking away her growing independence…ther hardly wants to spend “quality time” with old mom anymore but only wants attention when brother needs Mom!
Am full time Mom and Part time Student by the by
And full time Army wife (which means, almost a single parent with a parttime Father when home).
Any help that doesn’t take more then 5 minutes would be ideal!
HELP! My son is 9 years old and just this year has become quite a chronic liar. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried lecturing him, talking to him, making him stand in a corner while I talk to him….he lies about the littlest of things, sometimes to avoid being punished for some little mistakes, stuff I won’t even punish him for, sometimes making up things to make himself look good. I don’t know what I did wrong. I don’t think I have been so strict with him that it is necessary for him to lie to me. I’m just heartbroken that even after the heart-to-heart talks, he still resorts to lying first as a first means.
I am the mother of two boys ages 8 and 11 and a 3 month old girl. My problem is motivating my 11 year old. He is just not interested in school. He is in a gifted program but he thinks so outside the box that i am considering homeschooling him. Traditional schools are no longer working for him but i have to admit that homeschooling scares me.
Karen, I have been homeschooling for 23 yrs. Of course I lost my sanity before ever starting, but that’s about the only drawback. (Who needs sanity anyway?) I am a local homeschool support group leader in TN & would be glad to help you in any way that I can – curriculum, etc, but I probably couldn’t help with legal requirements or other local concerns. For that, there are local support groups in all 50 states, and especially in larger towns there are generally several groups. Just google “Homeschooling in Mytown, USA” and you should turn up some really helpful people.
Don’t be shy of asking questions or afraid to jump in and get your feet wet. Remember: the decision to homeschool is NOT irreversible. How much harm can you do in a semester or even a year? If your son is not an ‘average’ student, then homeschooling will fit him better than public school, which by necessity has to be structured for the average student.
Good luck and feel free to post again if you have any other questions.
Blessings,
Linda
Dear all moms,
I have a 3 year old lovely daughter and we stay in India with me, my hubby and our angel. Both of us work in IT and daughter will start school from June this year. She is presently at daycare in our office premises.
I want to tell you all mothers that we are all doing great jobs and keep it going.
Love
Anu
Thank you Linda for your reply. I am going to look into the homeschooling. I think it would benefit my son.
I think of how we have such problems over homework, which he feels is useless and repetitive, that I wonder how he will listen if I am his teacher.
Karen, please feel free to start at my website: tn-heart-and-hearth.com . It’s not just a local site, but has a lot of resources that will help you no matter where you live. Then you’ll need to get some local and state-specific information to be sure you’re doing everything the way that’s right for your location.
Your concern about his listening is well-founded. However, if you are NOT requiring useless & repetitive work, he should (in theory) quickly come to appreciate that you are on HIS side. He feels very alienated from his teachers, and in opposition to them, I’m sure. Hopefully you can get him on your side in helping to select curriculum etc, so that he’ll team with you, both having the same goal – his good education. For instance, you’re looking at history books, & you as the parent/teacher narrow the selection to 2 or 3 good ones. Then let him as the student who will be using it select which of those he really likes.
Again, if you’d like more help, feel free to post anytime.
Blessings,
Linda
Thank you again Linda. Very useful information. I agree that when he feels that he has some control of his education he is more willing to cooperate. He is a very sweet soul and he amazes me all the time. His eight year old brother has just gotten into the gifted program as well but he is very different from my older son. I do know that my older son is a highly visual spatial learner which does not go well in a traditional setting.
Karen, when you locate local homeschool support people, be sure to ask them what sort of curriculum would work well for this type of learner. There may be other local resources that will help you as well. You are right that this is part of the problem with him not fitting in well in the public school system.
Blessings,
LInda
Ellen,
My wife and I have a 5 year old daughter in preschool. I have created a website for the English Valleys Parent Teachers Organization at EVPTO.com. This is a local site for North English, Iowa. Would you link to our site?
Thanks,
Rick