Comments on: Praise What They Did, Not Who They Are!

By: Marlene Barnard

Marlene Barnard — Sun, 10 Sep 2006 17:26:47 +0000

I have great sadness. I have a neighbor couple who are simply the most vindictive, vengeful, hateful folks I’ve met in a long time. They are so childish, although they’re both in their fifties! I wonder about their childhoods….the anger they carry around, looking for people to dump it on, that anger must have come from somewhere!

I don’t get mad, I get even! That phrase is so childish and represents someone with an unformed, unfinished inner being. If it were the Second Coming and Jesus appears with that slogan on his T-shirt, we’re in for a lot of trouble!

How about, “I don’t get mad, I choose to get more loving!”

I live in the town of Galt CA and pray for the healing of these two sick people.

By: SM

SM — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 19:25:09 +0000

Thank you for the wonderful article. Good reminder.
What do you do when physical appearance is the praise?In today’s society,there is a so much value placed on physical beauty.
1)How do you raise a happy confident child when so much of that emphasis is placed on their physical appearance?
2)You praise their actions vs their identity. ok. What do you do when everyone else (i.e. well-meaning family members)around you is undermining that by praising their beauty?

By: MamaC

MamaC — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 12:33:45 +0000

Wow, I think I do both types of praise, but being aware of this principle is immensely helpful! I love the practicality of this. Now, only to apply it in my every day life….

By: Gina

Gina — Sat, 08 Jul 2006 03:56:04 +0000

Thanks for writing this article. It’s a great way to help my children, only I must confess that I don’t always handle these situations well. I do tend to praise who they are and I cringe when I think about it. How can I condition myself to acknowledge their actions more. And could you give me a “standard” line that I could use when I can’t find the right words??

By: Ellen C. Braun

Ellen C. Braun — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 16:25:32 +0000

Hi Ema,

We all need reminders… you’re in good company:)

By: ema

ema — Mon, 29 May 2006 22:15:35 +0000

reading this it makes perfect sense, but i’ve never looked at it that way before. i hope i manage to remember this each time i praise them.