Comments on: Recommended Reading…

by: Sarah Mills A.K.A. Luke's mom

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 16:47:04 +0000

Hi Chris,
If all behavior is to be considered as communication, and the inflexiblity (what you call being the boss & whining) are happening at school and home, perhaps the 7 year old is missing 1 or more skills that would make it easier for her to adapt.

If this is getting in the way of school, you can ask for the school to evaluate the child in “all areas of suspected disablity.” Most school folks don’t have the credentials to diagnose. You might want to tell the girl’s pediatrician about several specific examples and ask for a referral for additional testing.

You might try looking at doing an informal Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) and gather as much information as you can about
“what happened before”, “what happened during”, and “what happened afterward.” One reasonable grid for collecting this information is at:
http://cecp.air.org/fba/problembehavior3/appendixb.htm

Hang in there, Sarah A.K.A. Luke’s mom

by: Chris Anson

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 12:46:42 +0000

Hello ,i am helping my partner raise her grandchildren one is 5 and the other is 7 .We are having problems with the 7 year old thinking she is the boss and she whines when talked to and stays up all hours of the night .My hands are tied and i dont know what to do with this child she is acting up in school as well as home and we are getting fed up and confused with her and dont know what to do to help her out , i have sat down with her and tryed to help her with her homework but it doesnt help and giving in to her doesnt help eather .

by: trish

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 23:29:19 +0000

Ellen or anyone…. My daughter emily, six years old and in first grade is most certainly having some cognitive difficulties. Last year she was tested and everthing was average or above! Yet when it comes to multitasking she loses what she knows. She recognizes all her single words…, even got 100% on her spelling test plus a extra point for useing the words in a sentence she wrote. Yet, Put the words together in a story form she does not recognize them! She has a lot of Assist at school and support at home and neither of us are focusing on what she cannot do. Her wonderful teacher who is always available specializes in learning disorders is a pleasure and cannot figure out what makes her tick and what other keys to try and unlock the mystery. She is determined though. With emily her sight words do not appeal to her sense of logic. The ‘H’ should not belong in whip. Therefore making it wrong and so on. Could she actually be training her own brain to not remember? I had many difficulties myself. She leaves out her vowels like I had. Another person told me she is not being taught. Emily can sit at a piano and teach herself how to play with musical note recognition…is great in math…is social with her teachers and peers. gymnastically inclined and can hum beethoven and others. Any recommendations will be helpful. thanks trish

by: Jerusha

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:17:35 +0000

I just wanted to pop in and recommend a series of books that, literally, have changed my life. We’re talking saved my marriage, helped me understand the world so much better, and of course shown me how to be a better parent than I ever could have imagined! The author of all the books is Greg Baer M.D. and the series is titled “Real Love”. The specific book for parenting would be “Real Love and Parenting”; there are also books for marriage, dating, etc. You can check out the basic principles outlined, as well as all the materials available, at the website www.RealLove.com
Thanks for your time and I hope this info is helpful.

by: Sarah A.K.a. Luke' s mom

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 05:18:21 +0000

Hi All,

My current top two parenting books are
1) “Parenting Your Asperger Child: Individualized Solutions for Teaching Your Child Practical Skills” by Alan Sohn and Cathy Grayson and 2) The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W. Greene.

Both of these books give helpful recommendations that guide one to look at all behavior as communication. They also give recommendations to teach children flexibilty and the ability to deal with unmet expectations.

We’ve been living in the maze of special education for over 5 years now. We are stunned by how far we’ve come and how much there is yet to learn.

Best wishes for 2007,
Sarah A.K.A. Luke’s mom

by: sbaker

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 20:44:56 +0000

Could you resend the email titled “Investing in Your Child’s Emotional Future.” It got caught in my spam catcher. I’m not sure why it did and your other mail has not been. Thanks

by: tia

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 14:10:33 +0000

Has anyone any good reading material to recommend for Social Anxiety in children? Not a real heavy duty case of it - but just enough to hold a child back from taking good positive risks - that encourage growth.

by: Kathy

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 14:04:35 +0000

Thinking About You Thinking ABout Me is fabulous for understanding social deficits. I’ve read and used this author’s materials for developing a social skills program for Learning Disabled children, ADHD and giftedness. If you get a chance to attend her workshops - go for it!! I also bought and use Animal School at all my presentations - it is so powerful. I will be checking out your other recommendations as well. Feel 100% soon Ellen - you make our lives so much better with all you do!

by: jo angiulo

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 05:40:24 +0000

to Ellen Braun,

I know you won’t print my message, again, and that’s ok. But, I couldn’t help but notice you allow David’s badgering of me. How many times he used my name and didn’t allow my response. Ellen, why don’t you go back and look at our comments and see how kind and positive my initial comment was. David literally attacked me for recommending a book with absolutely no “Jesus is Lord” content. It just was a shame. I have tried to stay away from this site since, but couldn’t help but follow up. You really can take my e-mail off your lists.

by: Kim. C.

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 04:15:36 +0000

I myself have been reading the “The Family Virtues Guide” by Linda Kavelin Popov. Some people have told me that her books are just a Baha’i faith push approach to families in an attempt to bring the faith into more homes….BAH! Like any other book I have read; including the Koron, and the writings of the Dalai Lama, I have never quickly turned my faith from one belief to the next but I sure got some good reading and learned a lot at the same time. My 3 yr old is really enjoying the intorduction I have taken to teach her about the different virtues. I painted a huge apple tree on her playroom wall and printed off 52 different virtues on bright red apples with sticker paper. Each time she learns a new virtue or If I see her practicing the virtue of gentleness for example while touching her baby sister softly instead of rough, I will give her an apple to stick on the tree. We have an ever growing apple tree now that makes her proud each time she shows it to someone.
Thanks for all the great comments.
Kim C.

by: Audrey

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 23:18:57 +0000

I read Dibs in Search of self when I was in grade school and I remember it as a really touching book ( I was a total bookworm, don’t ask me how it came about that I read it then),but I’ll have to go back and reread it. That was a long time ago. Thanks for the great books Ellen, and a speedy recovery to you! Thanks so much for what you do.

by: Rachel

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 16:37:41 +0000

Hi! Im new here, & Id like to say, the information, stuff you send are beautiful!
I work in 4 daycares, and I was president of the association of jewish daycares for the last three years.
Anyways, thank you!
Rachel

by: patricia

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 03:56:38 +0000

well david… I thought Mary was talking to ellen but I am going to try her suggestion anyway. My disability shows when I type. I should proofread my stuff…Sorry guys. patricia

by: Ellen C. Braun

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 01:42:23 +0000

Thanks again for your well wishes:)

I have kept this site, meaning all the articles, secular, without religious inferences- simply in order to include as many parents as would feel comfortable being here and gaining good parenting ideas!

Many comments are of religious nature, and I’ve only deleted very few truly scandalous comments in all the time this site has existed!

Happy parenting:)

by: Kim. C.

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 00:07:17 +0000

Dear Parents;

Yes that means all of you. As I sit here and read the back and forth comments on religion and where it belongs in parenting all I can think about is something I learned a long time a go from a very wise woman who just happened to be a mother of 18 children; “Focus on the things in life you can change and stop focusing on those things you cannot change” Which brings me to my comment on the whole thing. You will never change someone’s personal beliefs when it comes to God, faith , or religion. So lets stop focusing on those things and spend our time giving each other wisdom, ideas, advise and support on PARENTING!
I also remember another thing the same woman told me and that was that there are many different recipies for chicken soup but somehow they all end up tasting good in the end!! Good analogy for parenting- - - what works good for you is exactly that” Good for you”.

P.S. nice to hear your feeling well Ellen and it was nice to see your name in my inbox again! misssed you.

Kim C.

by: David

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 23:27:40 +0000

My point wasnt in whether the book was written by a jew, a catholic, or a muslim. I just dont need to have someone turn this into a Jesus is Lord forum and thats what Joanne was saying in her comments.
Lets try and talk about child rearing without bringing religion into it.

by: Nancy

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 23:11:43 +0000

I just wanted to thank you Ellen for the information you give us. It is truely beneficial! I have 2 kiddos, ages 6, and 4. I am at my wits end some days and it’s nice to come here and find some help. Thank you for that.
I really hate to see that people are getting offended by some of the books that are being offered to us as reference for raising happy and “normal” children. Please if you don’t want to read it, don’t read it!! Don’t be so rude to the ones who would like to read it. We all have our difference of opinions!!! Thanks

by: Grandma Jo

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 22:38:53 +0000

Way to go, Patricia. We can choose to read or not to read a certain book - but we are all here to help each other.

by: patricia

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 21:09:45 +0000

Oh…For goodness sakes…grow up people. We come from all faiths and all different walks of life. I thought it was kind of ellen to include the fact that a book has christian undertones. Dr. Dobson is a wise christian author. So to I throw out his wisdom because of his faith and lose out on a great answer I hav been Looking for? I do not check my authors out to see if they are Jewish, Christian, A woman, A male, gay or not gay. Whether rabbi or priest. Ther are a lot of biblical wisdom in a book that has is the most read book throut mankind and that lasted over 5000 yrs. So let us not get a bent out of shape here. We are here to be assistance to all who come to obtain it. And to hands on answers that worked for us to others. There is no religious background here just the background of NEED. patricia

by: sherrie

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 19:41:40 +0000

hi - i/m glad you’re feeling better- is this a jewish, secular or christian site? i want my ideals not other views so if you could respond i’d appreciate it thanks sherrie

by: Grandma Jo

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 16:18:05 +0000

Thanks, Jo (Anguilo)! Just want you to know I read your response to my comment and I appreciate it. I’m sure my daughter will appreciate it also. Thanks, again!

by: Joanne Angiulo

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 15:56:54 +0000

Thank you Grandma Jo - by the way, I go by Jo, also. Parenting is hard and very sacrificing. What I have found is that we are so much of what we grew up with, that is hard to make the changes to being much more selfless and way more giving to our children. It’s wonderful your daughter is homeschooling - I would love to do that, but can’t imagine how incredibly challenging it must be. I have a friend with 4 children that span from 5 to 15 yrs of age and she homeschools them all. Good luck to your daughter and if she hasn’t read the Sheparding Your Child’s Heart - she should take a look at it. It even has a handbook/studyguide, as well. Have a great day, jo

by: Grandma Jo

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 15:28:52 +0000

You are so right, Joanne. I’m glad you mentioned that book. Sounds like one my daughter might have already read - but I will check with her to make sure. I think she would like it. I will also make sure she checks this site regarding the others. She doesn’t always get time to check her email because she has 4 children, including one she is nursing who is about 5 mos old and she is also homeschooling. But I like her to hear about books like these. I’m sure she already uses some of the techniques in these books - but I think she would be glad to have more resources. Hopefully she will find time to read at least some of the books or parts of some of them.
I also wanted to mention to Beth that besides the short version you want from Ellen, you could also get a book from the library so you wouldn’t have to buy it, and see if it is what you need. They are good to own so you can reference them when you need them, but that is where ebay could ome in or Amazon.com. I’ve gotten books there for 88 cents, but then postage put it up to about $4 - and still I saved at least half or more ordering them online! That was my first time getting books on line and it was great! They were used but in very good condition. Good luck!

by: David

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 15:13:29 +0000

Dear Joanne,
Believe it or not some people dont believe in Jesus. People are the ones responsible for raising their children and whether you teach your child about your beliefs or not still has nothing to do about whether you raise your child in a kind and understanding way.
Parenting with Love starts from within each person, god or not.
:)

by: Ellen C. Braun

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 15:11:47 +0000

Hello everyone, thanks for your kind words.

I am feeling better each day, thankfully.

The Animal School movie can be viewed by clicking on the purple rectangle on the home page www.raisingsmallsouls.com.

To those of you that want more info about the books, Amazon has reviews that will be helpful to you.

Make it a great day:)

by: Joanne Angiulo

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 14:54:13 +0000

Dear David,

HE IS EVERYTHING about the contents of raising our children. No one is pushing it down your throat - you don’t have to read the book and no on is proselytizing here. We all have a right to share good material.

by: David

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 14:29:05 +0000

When did Jesus or God start having anything to do with the contents of our raising children?
Please dont start proselytizing here.
Thanks for the recommended reading Ellen. I will have to check out at least the first entry.

Mary Erb says:

Just as jesus is the only way.

by: Meriah

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 13:11:25 +0000

Ellen,
I just thought I would share that our local Head start program offers love and logic classes every year free of charge. I encourage everyone to check with your local headstart programs to see if the same is offered there.
Best wishes on a speedy recovery.

by: Tracey

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 12:47:25 +0000

Hi Ellen -

Wonderful to hear you’re back. This is my first time responding to you too. I hope you’re feeling better. I was beginning to wonder – what happened. I can’t wait to go out and buy a good book. Lately, I have been feeling a little overwhelmed, maybe a little anxiety about my children. Conversations with them has decreased immensely, they are getting older. I’ve never felt this emotion before, I usually never get scared about anything but this is creeping up on me. Maybe the book Parenting With Love and Logic will help. I can only try right?

by: beth

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 12:35:11 +0000

I too reallly enjoy you newsletters - if you can give be a short version of the basic philosphy of love and logic - I think I heard it before and I have no funds to purchase - NOR time to read it anyway - I would appreciate it!!!
Get ALL WELL soon

by: Erica Hall

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 12:04:38 +0000

Hi Ellen,
I am glad to see you back. Wish you a speedy recovery. Could you also send me the animal school email. Thanks.

Erica

by: Audra Hiebert

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 11:58:25 +0000

I wanted to say, I really enjoy the emails and this one had perfect timing, I am actually taking a class on this book starting this evening. The Lord has was of making connections. I will check out these other books this weekend.

Audra

by: Joanne Angiulo

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 10:12:58 +0000

Hi Ellen,

I did wonder why I had not heard from you and feared because I had not responded to anything sent to me yet. I am glad to see you are back and wish you a quick recovery. I enjoy your letters and recommendations. I have been working on trying to find time to read - it’s just difficult to sit down and do it - seems there is always something to be done. I would like to try the book Parenting with Love and Logic - sounds good. I don’t know if you have heard of Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp, but it is wonderful. It’s not about the behavior, it’s about the heart and when you shepherd their heart - their choices and behavior will follow. It is a Christian book, but try it and see if you like it. From what I can tell from this site, there are many women who could appreciate it. Have a great day, joanne

by: Trudy Bowler

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 08:22:45 +0000

Hi Ellen,
Could you please re send me the Animal School email. Had it,loved it but lost it! Many thanks

by: Teresa

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 07:13:51 +0000

I just finished reading Parenting With Love and Logic after it was recommended to our family. My husband and I are seeing results already! I also bought the one for Teens as well. The suggestions are easy and very do-able. Thank you for recommending it to others. I hope it helps other families as much as it has ours.

by: patricia

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 06:32:01 +0000

Hello ther ellen, Sorry to hear you were down for a while. Hope you are feeling well or at least better.
I read dibs many years ago more than once. A great book that was greatly informative and highly encouraging. A true eye opener as well to what one can achieve on both ends of the spectrum… loved it My daughter hates when I get logical with her…LOL patricia p.s I will pick up the others

by: Helen Pacheco

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 06:10:07 +0000

They also have Parenting with Love and Logic on tapes which are great to listen to in the car, especially since they are recorded by the authors, two middle aged men with so much funny and heartwarming parenting experience. I love this approach but sometimes the “real consequences” of actions must be tempered if they are dangerous or life threatening.

by: Mary Erb

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 04:10:29 +0000

Ellen Dear, I pray that you will feel stronger daily. Thank you for your newsletter. Please check out the encl. truth. Just as jesus is the only way.Redefining wellness. mannapeople.com/erbgarden

by: amy

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 01:24:37 +0000

I just want to let you know that the “animal school” email that I recieved was very beautiful and brought me to tears!! It is soooo very true that the schools now expect us all to be ” the same” as everyone else. I was one of the kids that was not good in really anything but there was one teacher who really saw potential in me and helped me to graduate and be the person I am today. Thanks for making this for us parents we appreciate it greatly.