Comments on: Reframing

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:29:09 +0000

Perfectly stated! Nice analogy with the car in the parking lot. As a self-proclaimed worrier, I’m considering tatooing the phrase, “Will it matter in 5 years” on my forearm! Keep up the great work.

By: April

April — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:26:09 +0000

Thanks Ellen, that was particularly poignant!

By: Patricia Schneider

Patricia Schneider — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 10:32:44 +0000

I like that!

By: Chana

Chana — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 10:06:25 +0000

Great story! And so true to give your kids the time they want/need now, rather than have them close themselves off of you, because they are used to you not listening when they were younger…
I try (being a full time employee with three kids), but it’s not that easy.
Reading stories and comments like this is very helpful, to keep us on our toes!
THANKS

By: fraoch shiel

fraoch shiel — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:20:40 +0000

Thankyou Im glad I just sat and watched a football match with my 10 yr old son and kitchen floor can wait till w/e

By: Avi

Avi — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 20:35:12 +0000

That was a great article. Whenever I think of reframing I think of reframing emotions rather than perspective. Perspective is a little easier to do, however reframing ones emotions give you an entire overhaul in experience.

By: Bob Lewis

Bob Lewis — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 07:10:01 +0000

Thank you, Ellen. This story, along with your recent remeinder to reflect instead of react when communicating with children, have really helped me see my 6th graders as diamonds in the rough and works in progress all over again. How lucky I am to have the most challenging students in my classroom! If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have the most neediest of lives to touch. Will it matter in five years that I got them all to complete the worksheet on time regardless of realizing why they can’t complete it? I don’t think so.

By: Dee

Dee — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 03:38:11 +0000

That is so true!!

We tend to take life in general for granted. We should all appreciate the moment that we are in. Appreciate the time that we have to laugh and cry. Life is so short even if you live to be 100 – our children are only children for just a short period of time. Take time to listen to your children – they are the future of your family.

By: Angela

Angela — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 14:17:23 +0000

I also had the same experience. It was so scary. But I thought that I couldn’t get my car to stop! Because it was the car infront of me rolling backwards. I like yor analysis. It sheds a light on diffrent percpectives.

By: Lynda Giguère

Lynda Giguère — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 12:33:27 +0000

A great read as always. An article I once read said, “I remember my mom’s warm cookies, not the dust bunnies on the floor”. As a working mom, I feel totally guilty of not being able to make ny boys warm cookies as an after school snack. But I make up for this lack when I get called to pick up my 3-yr old from the daycare when he is sick. I pick him up, call my boys’ school and have them take the bus. They now come off the bus with a bitter/sweet feeling. First, they come in asking how Sacha is doing but they also know that warm cookies and milk await them. (They don’t even take note of the dust bunnies!)

By: Carrie Stockdill

Carrie Stockdill — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 13:59:21 +0000

This reminded me of an activity I do with my 4th graders about being thankful. We take ordinary, kind of icky chores and turn them into positive thoughts. It’s sort of like rethinking something. Here’s how it works, you list chores you don’t particularily like, then you rewrite that chore with a grateful message. Some examples are, I’m so luciky I get to wash the dishes, because that means I have dishes to wash and food to get them dirty. I’m so lucky I get to mow the yard because that means I have a yard to play in and enjoy. I’m so lucky I get to clean up dog doo because that means I have a pet to love and care for. It is a fun way to get kids to think about what they have. Don’t we all have so much.

By: Diane

Diane — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:34:49 +0000

This stirred up so much emotion in me (mostly guilt) that I am determined to reexamine my priorities in life now. Thanks for the prespective.

By: Vera

Vera — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 01:48:59 +0000

Thanks Ellen for sharing, I cherish every moment with my 5 year old because I can see how fast it’s going with my 15 year old. The little details just don’t seem to matter any longer.

By: Celine

Celine — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 00:21:12 +0000

Hey, thanks for the tip. I fully agree with you. Sometimes it’s not always possible because of financial circumstances. We do what we best can. Take care and keep up the good work

By: Judy H. Wright

Judy H. Wright — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:05:59 +0000

Great article and very timely. Thanks for being you. You do an important work.

I just finished an eBook called “Building Self Confidence with Encouraging Words.” The book talks about reframing and looking at long held beliefs and perceptions to see if they are even true.

As always, I would love to have reviews and joint ventures with other parent organizations and ezines. If you are interested, please contact me at Judy@ArtichokePress.com or call 406.549.9813

I am a parent educator and author.

By: anne jolles

anne jolles — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:13:12 +0000

That story sure got my attention! Glad it was an optical illusion!
That is how we parents of teens spend much of our time… looking at optical illusions! This is a great reminder to look at the big picture and ask,”What is really imoportant here?”
Thanks Ellen,
Anne Jolles
http://www.drivethroughparentingwisdom.com

By: Ellen Pollack

Ellen Pollack — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:00:31 +0000

I had the exact same experience, (probably at the same school!) right down to the sweats when the car would not “stop”. The children were right in front of me on the sidewalk. However I did not come away from it with your take. Thank you for that!

By: Emily

Emily — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 20:40:20 +0000

What a wonderful idea- to think ahead!

So many of the little things that get me worked up would disappear if I used this technique more often.