Just one more quick note on cellphone health hazards… while texting may reduce the chances of a brain tumor, carrying a cell phone in your pocket has been shown to have negative effects on fertility… even when it’s not being used (as long as it is turned on).

You are right, letting go means letting them make good decisions for themselves instead of for us. And to be sure, we didn’t do that with our son in this situation and he wanted to rebel. However, before he did, we gave him the opportunity to realize his own desires, with the caveat that he must pay for it himself (which is easily achievable for him) and yet he has decided not to do it. Let me ask you this – would you buy your child cigarettes if s/he decided to start smoking? What would we be teaching him if we paid for something for him that we thoroughly disagree with? …That people should not stand up for their beliefs? …That we don’t care about his health? …That we support him doing what we believe to be unsafe? …That we don’t love him enough to protect him? So we feel that our decision allowed him to have the freedom to get a cell phone while still showing him that we care about his health and safety.

Thank you for this healthy debate,
Shannon

I appreciate that research indicates that there is some level of risk with cell phone use and that there are safeguards our kids should utilize to protect themselves. But when we shove things down our kids throats, they aren’t going to be cooperative. As you experienced with your son, at some point being inflexible significantly hurts our relationship with our kids. If our teen starts rebelling, shame on us.

We all want our kids to be safe: smoking, alcohol, seat belts and so forth. We have an obligation to teach and express our concerns. However, the letting go process involves communicating to our kids, “You need to make good decisions for yourself– not me.”

Lastly, I hold a M.Ed. in Health Education, and taught high school health education for 21 years. I am very skeptical of medical people who become entrepreneurs and make tons of money promoting “natural health” products. Specifically, Dr. Joseph Mercola has been told by the FDA on at least two occasions to stop making illegal claims about what his products can do for people.

Alan

Thank you for sharing your experience and providing evidence that it pays to be in a connected relationship with our kids.

Alan

I completely agree– my daughter pays me $30 a month for her phone. The only problem I can see is that kids text so much that most of us are better of paying for the “unlimited texting” plan. Your daughter could pay for a portion of the cost.

Alan

Our 15 year old son has been asking for a phone since grade 7 and we flatly denied it until this year, when he became quite defiant and said he was going to buy one anyway with his birthday money. At which point we realized we had to give a little or lose his respect, so we told him he could have one if he gets a job and pays for it himself, but that we will not be financially supporting his choice to potentially damage his health. In good conscience, we just can’t do that. Interestingly, he has not yet applied for any jobs or bought a phone and the arguments have stopped.

As a concerned parent, I would just ask that you PLEASE do your research! And keep in mind that if the research you are reading says it’s perfectly safe, consider the source… cell phone manufacturers and the people they hire have a financial interest in convincing you it’s safe (remember when cigarettes were advertised as “healthy?” – it sometimes takes years for science to catch up to big business and hold it responsible). One site that I recommend that talks about the dangers is http://www.Mercola.com or just do a search for cell phone safety.

Be well,
Shannon

Belinda