Self-Esteem, the Industrial Revolution, & TV
by Ellen C. Braun
Filed under Controversial Parenting Styles, Emotional Development, Self Esteem
Self-Esteem, the Industrial Revolution, and TV
If you were asked “What are the three top characteristic you hope to imbue in your child?” there’s a good chance that self-esteem would be one of your answers.
A healthy level of personal esteem will allow your child to seek achievement, solid relationships, and have the courage to be honest with himself and others.
In contrast, a person who is lacking self-esteem will generally not attempt to achieve more than the minimum and will often enter detrimental relationships because he does not feel deserving of better.
This feeling of value and esteem is enhanced by accomplishments. After all, how good can a person feel about himself if he shirked his responsibilities and spent his time doing nothing much?
There’s a good chance that there is somebody in your circle of influence that was dismissed from his job because a computer was able to take over his responsibilities. What a tremendous blow that must have been to his sense of self, to be relegated as irrelevant because a machine now has the capacity to do what he used to accomplish!
Imagine with me for a moment, how hundreds of cotton laborers must have felt with the invention of Eli Whitney’s cotton gin at the start of the Industrial Revolution. Wham! Their services and labor are now insignificant and useless.
The many blessings of the Industrial Revolution also brought about several negative impacts upon society. As people moved from farms to urban areas and machines took over many of the tasks humans had been busy with for centuries, children’s responsibilities lessened. Two centuries ago, the majority of children had to help out with the myriad of chores that had to be accomplished to keep a household running during that era.
While we are doubtless grateful for the ease of use of the many technological advantages we have today, the downside is that today’s children generally have few, if any, household responsibilities.
In the past, a six-year-old boy could gather the eggs of the chickens for which he cared and see tangible evidence of his toil. A young girl could sew an item of clothing and watch her creation develop into a useful and wearable dress.
Jump ahead to the present and contrast those scenarios with the activity that overtakes so much of our children’s time: Watching TV.
Can you imagine how you would feel if you had to sit at your front window for three hours a day and do nothing but watch your neighbors enjoying their lives? What if your neighbors were far wealthier, more beautiful, and had more exciting relationships than yours? And what if every single day you spent a significant amount of time at the window doing nothing but passively watching them go about their interesting activities?
What kind of feelings do you think would surface in your heart during those hours at the window? Emotions like jealousy, inferiority, and lack of self-esteem would likely be at the forefront of your feelings.
After spending an hour or two watching TV, how much personal esteem can be gained by our children from their couch-potato-activity? Television turns a naturally active child from a creator and accomplisher into a passive spectator of other people’s lives.
Other people’s lives that are not based on anything remotely related to reality, no matter how many reality shows are broadcast! TV characters lives are painted in vivid neon hues, far more colorful than the natural rainbow of colors that is real life.
When you look at the transition in children’s lives over the past centuries- from playing an integral, active role in a family’s household in a meaningful way, to becoming an inactive robot with eyes glued to a flashing screen for hours a day, is it any wonder that self-esteem levels have plummeted drastically?
Go ahead and turn of the TV and write down a family contract with a workable and realistic TV schedule that allows 60 minutes or less of viewing time on weeknights.
Then, together with your child, get creative.
Look for activities that entertain, build skills, and have tangible results. Help your child with a new craft project, and display the finished result prominently. Volunteer together at a children’s shelter and watch the disadvantaged children’s eyes light up with the gifts of your old games. Take up gardening together, and relish the farm-fresh taste of the fruits and vegetables of your joint handiwork.
Please share other ideas for activities that have real results and yield a true boost in self-esteem below!
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I agree that there is a definite down side to too much TV, however I don’t believe in idolizing the lifes of children in the past. I am originally from rural Wisconsin and kids were often SLAVES on farms until truancy board enforced mandatory school attendance in the 50′s. My own grandparents worked so much that there was no time for activities like reading or playing. Books like Clara and the Bookwagon bring up that important point and my 7 year old daughter and I have discussed it.
To be honest, we love our media but we consciously decide what we consume. For our history units, we often see those old, long movies like Ben Hur, The Ten Commandments, The Robe, etc. My now 7 year old loved Dragon Tales and Clifford and with a switch of a button, we could watch both in Spanish which was important because that is our second language and the only other time she would hear it was from her Father during the day. She also loved sing along tapes and I feel that her language really benefitted from this educational interaction. Now my 2 year old daughter has absolutely NO interest in what is happening on a screen so we just let her play with what does interest her. She is much more physical, interactive and hands on. We are also far from “couch potatoes” and make time to play every day outside, take the dog for walks or go on play dates. Like everything, I feel moderation is the key.
I am very glad to read your article about TV. I think the #1 thing we can do to improve the lives of our children (particularly under 10 yrs.) is eliminate the television altogether. I say this from knowing many families who have done just this and enjoyed results beyond what they had hoped and expected.
Lea
Hi Everyone,
That article did make alot of sense depending on the program I allow my child to watch. Animal Planet and some others like TLC (at times) and the Discovery Channel have some really great programs with alot of inspirational and educational topics in them. My point is that television can be a gift depending on what my child is viewing, I have to be involved in what I allow mine to watch and if she may see something that is not very nice, we talk about that and make sure we understand that it’s not appropriate behavior.
I have learned that what they watch, they tend to mimic. Reading books and playing video games are included.
What we take into ourselves, by reading or seeing becomes part of us, and those experiences shape how we see the world around us.
Thanks Sirena, your comment I have to agree with. There are so many good and creative/ informational programs that the family can enjoy and learn from. Being interactive with your children, discussing what is appropriate and not appropriate behavior is necessary. We have trained our children (and continue to) in using this “tool” wisely. As a family, we love to watch Funniest Home Videos together (although sometimes we have to turn it off when there are slightly inapproapriate family scenes).
TV can be fun and educational, a tool to catch up with the international and local news, or learn about the world around us in a visual way (ex. Animal Planet or Discovery Channel) but it simply should not take the place for creative personal, or interactive family time.
We have recently switched to DIRECT TV, for 2 reasons…because GOD TV has recently been added to their programming. There are several other Christian channel choices as well. We now are able to watch wonderful Christian teaching and programming for the whole family, which helps us to grow spiritually. Secondly, with Direct TV you can record special programs or movies and then watch them later, fast-forwarding through all the nasty, time-waster commercials… So there is value to be found in TV programming, you just have to pick and choose wisely, and teach self-discipline, draw very clear boundaries and define moral values so that our children learn to make wise decisions as they grow into adult-hood. Then they are not just obeying under an authoritarian atmosphere, but rather out of love, understanding, and knowledge. Our children know when it’s time to turn off the TV or computor, their conscience are still tender and responsive. They may need a reminder, but they respond positively and in agreement with it because we are involved in every aspect of their lives.
It’s true. What role do my children play and how important do they feel as part of the family??
This is one of my most passionate subjects. This article presents another reason i never considered why television is detrimental to children. Many friends and family do not understand my aversion to TV. Not only do my children NOT watch TV we don’t even have that new digital box required to get channels. First, analog worked just fine there was no need to upgrade and require everyone to have a box in their home. I have my suspicions about that but that’s another subject. Even for me as an adult, when we have TV i will watch it hours, such as Law and Order and my reading vastly decreases when we have TV. I love to read. Even when we had free cable i would get rid of it because the children and i would spend hours watching it and there wasnt even anything good on. Not to mention the many commercials they are bombarded with of all the “things” they just have to have.
Most families who have a tv have a hard time getting rid of it because they have to fill that immense time. I have a really good book for substituting TV time and i am sure there are more out there and free ideas on the internet. The book is : 365 TV free activities you can do with your child. Also here is a lengthy but very compelling article by a scientist mom on the scientific proofs against TV: http://muslimsguide2thewelltrainedmind.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/scientific-proofs-against-tv/ I would highly recommend it, especially for pro TV parents.
There are some good educational shows out there such as some PBS and animal planet but they are very few. I wish there were more articles about the negative aspects of television on our children. Thanks!
Everyone brings up good points here. TV in moderation is ok, but try going without for a week and see the improvement of your kids’ attitudes! We no longer have the TV on while the kids are awake, unless it is a special pizza and movie night which we try to do once a week.
I think the point this article is trying to make about the past is: the kids were involved in their family. They helped with the chores, and to give them something to do (be it small in our eyes) is huge in theirs! And that in turn gave them self esteem to accomplish things on their own.
Just this morning, my 4 year old asked if he could put his little brother’s shoes on. Of course! He wants to help, and I know he can do these things. Taking his dishes to the sink, “folding” laundry, feeding the dog, helping me in the garden. All of these little things mean so much to our little ones.
We have started a sticker chart – when he makes his bed, cleans up his toys, takes his laundry from his room to the laundry room, this all qualifies for a sticker. When the chart is filled – he gets to pick something to do off a pre-made list. Family night, park night, movie night, go-out-to-eat night, a DS game, a new tractor, date night with mom – all of these little rewards show them that their time is important to us, and it teaches them responsibilities, which will give them the real-life coping skills.
Great article