Self-Esteem, the Industrial Revolution, and TV
If you were asked “What are the three top characteristic you hope to imbue in your child?” there’s a good chance that self-esteem would be one of your answers.
A healthy level of personal esteem will allow your child to seek achievement, solid relationships, and have the courage to be honest with himself and others.
In contrast, a person who is lacking self-esteem will generally not attempt to achieve more than the minimum and will often enter detrimental relationships because he does not feel deserving of better.
This feeling of value and esteem is enhanced by accomplishments. After all, how good can a person feel about himself if he shirked his responsibilities and spent his time doing nothing much?
There’s a good chance that there is somebody in your circle of influence that was dismissed from his job because a computer was able to take over his responsibilities. What a tremendous blow that must have been to his sense of self, to be relegated as irrelevant because a machine now has the capacity to do what he used to accomplish!
Imagine with me for a moment, how hundreds of cotton laborers must have felt with the invention of Eli Whitney’s cotton gin at the start of the Industrial Revolution. Wham! Their services and labor are now insignificant and useless.
The many blessings of the Industrial Revolution also brought about several negative impacts upon society. As people moved from farms to urban areas and machines took over many of the tasks humans had been busy with for centuries, children’s responsibilities lessened. Two centuries ago, the majority of children had to help out with the myriad of chores that had to be accomplished to keep a household running during that era.
While we are doubtless grateful for the ease of use of the many technological advantages we have today, the downside is that today’s children generally have few, if any, household responsibilities.
In the past, a six-year-old boy could gather the eggs of the chickens for which he cared and see tangible evidence of his toil. A young girl could sew an item of clothing and watch her creation develop into a useful and wearable dress.
Jump ahead to the present and contrast those scenarios with the activity that overtakes so much of our children’s time: Watching TV.
Can you imagine how you would feel if you had to sit at your front window for three hours a day and do nothing but watch your neighbors enjoying their lives? What if your neighbors were far wealthier, more beautiful, and had more exciting relationships than yours? And what if every single day you spent a significant amount of time at the window doing nothing but passively watching them go about their interesting activities?
What kind of feelings do you think would surface in your heart during those hours at the window? Emotions like jealousy, inferiority, and lack of self-esteem would likely be at the forefront of your feelings.
After spending an hour or two watching TV, how much personal esteem can be gained by our children from their couch-potato-activity? Television turns a naturally active child from a creator and accomplisher into a passive spectator of other people’s lives.
Other people’s lives that are not based on anything remotely related to reality, no matter how many reality shows are broadcast! TV characters lives are painted in vivid neon hues, far more colorful than the natural rainbow of colors that is real life.
When you look at the transition in children’s lives over the past centuries- from playing an integral, active role in a family’s household in a meaningful way, to becoming an inactive robot with eyes glued to a flashing screen for hours a day, is it any wonder that self-esteem levels have plummeted drastically?
Go ahead and turn of the TV and write down a family contract with a workable and realistic TV schedule that allows 60 minutes or less of viewing time on weeknights.
Then, together with your child, get creative.
Look for activities that entertain, build skills, and have tangible results. Help your child with a new craft project, and display the finished result prominently. Volunteer together at a children’s shelter and watch the disadvantaged children’s eyes light up with the gifts of your old games. Take up gardening together, and relish the farm-fresh taste of the fruits and vegetables of your joint handiwork.
Please share other ideas for activities that have real results and yield a true boost in self-esteem below!
at the time begged us to watch these videos because they felt like outsiders at school. Also when my son was at someone’s house who was playing a violent video game he would have to come home. He would be sobbing that he had to leave the friend’s house. Soon the boys started laughing at and bullying my son for being such a wimp. It is not so easy to have your kid feel like a freak when friendships are so important. Our society makes it difficult to be a good parent.