Living in a society in which our highest government officials and largest corporations are routinely found to be dishonest, how can we teach our children to be truthful? A recent Reader’s Digest article exposed that over 60% of high school students admitted to plagiarizing. (And those are only the ones that acknowledged their cheating!)
Although our children will learn many lessons from their parents and teachers, the most powerful lessons will be the ones they learn from our actions, especially from our actions in dealing with him.
Some parents regularly repeat their questions for their kids and cross-examine them, particularly if they have reason to suspect that the truth is not being told. Unconsciously, these parents are actually raising their child in a direction away from integrity. When children see that their parents constantly doubt them, they learn that their word cannot be trusted, and associate themselves with being a liar.
Studies have demonstrated a surprising fact about truthful kids: When children are raised by somewhat naive parents who believe their children readily, they are more likely to lead lives of integrity. This is a direct result of the message that the parent sends- unspoken message that by taking the child’s words as facts (even if the kid lied once in a while!) he was a person who could be trusted to speak the truth!
When you suspect your child of telling a lie that does not carry great consequences, in the long run, it is far better to believe him and feed his view of himself as a truthful person, than to make a fuss regarding minor details. Obviously, if the child had lied about a grave matter, a responsible parent will address the necessary facts, however most of the time children distort their views of reality in an inconsequential manner.
Child-rearing is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you regularly trust your child, he considers himself a person of truth!