If there is one attribute that can change the outcome of a child’s life, I would have to define that as self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can take a youngster to unsavory relationships and achievement far below his or her potential, while a healthy level of confidence will guide a child to shine in so many aspects of life.
Several ideas are presented here, that you can use as a template for a curriculum to aid your child in developing his self-esteem. With that in mind, view the following suggestions as you would look at a spread of food in a cafeteria: take what appeals to you and leave the rest behind for consideration at another time.
1) Accepting Myself: My family, my strengths and weaknesses, my unique situation… My talents and my failings all serve to make me the special person that I am. Nobody is without flaws or regrets; what I do with my capabilities from now on is what is important.
2) Decision-Making: Children need guidance in making their own decisions and handling the consequences of both the good and bad decisions that have been made. It is important for them to understand instant-gratification versus long-range benefits in the bigger picture. The ability to delay immediate gain for a future yield is a sign of maturity that will boost a youngster’s self-esteem tremendously.
3) The need for help: Children can’t find all the answers on their own. A parent, teacher, grandparent, or neighbor can be an instrumental mentor to aid a child’s development in a myriad of ways. Asking for help is a a healthy sign of desire for growth, not a weakness.
4) Goal-Setting: The ability to establish and meet reasonable goals that are challenging yet achievable will be a superb springboard to longer-term aspirations. Successfully meeting a challenge encourages a person to take on further projects and strive beyond what he has already done.
5) Time-Management Skills: Despite the many time-saving appliances that fill our homes, we are busier than ever before! Learning to realistically prioritize tasks and projects is a skill that will keep overwhelming feelings at bay and serve your children well for years to come.
Use this list as a springboard for other ideas that come to mind as you broach these subjects with your child. A two-year-old will learn delayed gratification by being rewarded after the blocks have been cleaned, while a teenager will internalize the same lesson by shoveling snow to earn her new ipod. The lessons are timeless life-skills that will enable your child to handle the complicated time of growing up more effectively.
For further reading regarding your son or daughter’s self esteem, I recommend “Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys” if you are a parent of a son, and “Reviving Ophelia: Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls” if you are a parent of a girl.